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My mother has always been a slow eater and a slow drinker, even when she was a kid. My mother's doctor wants my Mom to drink at least 3- 16.9 fluid oz bottles a day every day. She's doing good if she drinks 1 - 16.9 fluid oz bottle in 3 days. If I let her, she would much rather drink multiple cups of coffee all day long.


Although there is water in coffee, coffee is not good for her kidneys and bladder especially since she has frequent UTI's and is urine incontinent and has to wear diapers all day and all night.


Mom doesn't like tea, or kool-aid or lemonade or lemon water or flavored water.


Can anyone help me out please? Her urine is very, very strong and dark. Her urine smells like snot and it's filmy like too. Any suggestions? Thank you in advance.

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What about fruit juices? Or summer soups? Fruit itself has fluids so they're good choices as well. Some salads such as bean salads are in a dressing with fluids.

With fall coming soon, soups are a great option.

There are also the Boost, Ensure and similar type drinks. If she's on Coumadin, check a Vitamin K list to see which would interfere the least with her PT/INR levels. We were warned that one of them is a bit more threatening to those levels than another, but were also told that it wasn't that much of a concern. We erred on the safe side.

I don't have any insights on the urine issue. I think that's a matter for a urologist or one of her doctors.
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Try giving her watered down apple juice or cranberry juice to make it more appealing. Or if she enjoys sparkling water make it into a sparkling drink. You could also add lemon or lime to dress it up.
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Buy a good quality decaff, put it in her regular container if she makes a fuss. I've looked into the whole coffee issue and it is not as bad as some say. The diuretic properties are less in habitual coffee drinkers so it is not really dehydrating and is certainly better than nothing. Try keeping a cup of iced water always at hand, often my mom will empty the cup even when she claims she is not thirsty. And increase the other fluids in her diet; soups, fruits, even veggies are mostly water. Try sherbets, jello, popsicles in the summer, herbal tea and hot chocolate are favorites all year.
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Weak coffee, weak iced coffee, as long as it has plenty of water in it, I wouldn't worry about the effect of the caffeine. Some water tastes better than others. For example Dasani has some minerals added to it to make it taste better. Some old folks will drink sugar-free lemonade mix made from a powder. Have a taste-testing contest...have her taste several items and select which one she likes the best. Fill a 1 litre plastic bottle with a sip lid (doesn't spill easily) and leave it by her bed. If her mouth gets dry she can 'take a sip'. Also makes it easy to track consumption. Just a few things that works for us.
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I would also explore the decaff coffee. How is that bad? I'd also try watermelon, and other fruits and vegetables. Squash has a lot of water in it.

Also, what about milk, ice cream, shakes, smoothies, etc.
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All the above suggestions are great. But the hard cold fact is: " You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink".
I have the same problem with my Mom. I've tried alot of the above suggestions with varying degrees of success. I've finally reached the point where all I can do is provide the best I can for her and what will be will be. It's a tough one though to accept.
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This is true Nojoy3. For varying reasons, people stop wanting to eat or drink and there's not much you can do about it. You do the best you can.
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Very dark and filmy urine? Does the MD know that? I would be sending some off to the lab for analysis. Call the MD first thing Monday morning.
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I'm hung up with what snot smells like.

Pam's right, of course test her urine.

She's 85 years old. If coffee is her beverage of choice, don't worry about it. Liquid is liquid. Use decaf.

As others have suggested, try other beverages...apple juice...cranberry juice...fizzy water...see if something else rings her lil' chimes.
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Yes pamstegma and MaggieMarshall, her family doctor and urologist and her gynecologist all knows what her urine looks and smells like. They all say the same thing, she needs to increase her water intake. I've already tried ice water, flavored water, watered down juices, milk, some soups, decaf coffee, tea, (she is not a tea drinker). If she feels like it or "thinks about it" she will drink or eat this stuff. But if she doesn't, she acts very childish and either throws a temper tantrum for me or throws the food and beverages in her waste paper basket, making a royal mess even though her waste paper basket is lined with a plastic trash bag.

I hate seeing my Mom like this. I just wish I had the ability to turn back the hands of time to when she wasn't like this. I'm sure all of you do too. Thank you everyone for your great advice, support and wisdom.
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Does she like fruits or veggies, like watermelon or cucumber or pineapple or would she eat a Popsicle that was made from fruit juice? Does she live with you? If so, I'd try to get her to drink very small sips throughout the day, instead of asking her to drink a larger glass or cup. You've probably tried that already, just asking. I know this is frustrating. I have the same thing with my mom, but it's not to the level you have with your mom.

What does your mom like to eat? Or is her appetite pretty much gone? I'd start with foods she likes and try to figure out a way to make them more liquid dense if possible. And if she will drink coffee, that's where you start! The watered down decaf version sounds pretty good to me.
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Blannie, my Mom's appetite is as fickle as the weather. Some days she eats, other days she doesn't. Some days she'll eat Breakfast and nothing else, while other days she will only eat Supper. I never know from day to day or meal to meal if she will eat or not. Yes I live with her.

Tonight I made fried zucchini for the two of us. Zucchini is chuck full of water, one of her favorite veggies to eat. To my surprise she managed to eat 4 pieces that were cut up and fried soft for her to chew since she only has upper false teeth. I try to cook/fry all veggies for us nice and soft, that way she can chew them easily and she doesn't have any choking issues.

As of the past three years, Mom's taste buds are really odd. She seems to LOVE burnt toast and burnt eggs and burnt bacon. Is this normal? Has anyone ever heard of this?
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I'd try popsicles.
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Just so coffee drinkers are aware, there can be negative effects from too much caffeine if someone has osteoporosis and/or doesn't have adequate calcium intake. After reading that years ago, I quit drinking coffee. And I do miss it.
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Would she eat baby foods, like fruits with tapioca pudding or pureed veggies like pears or even oatmeal with some milk? I hear you on the fickle appetite. My mom loves something one week and hates it the next. Drives me nuts! She has no short-term memory, so I think she forgets that she doesn't like something, LOL. They surely keep us on our toes, don't they?
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Lyndee, The reason your mom's urine is dark and smell strong is because of the way the kidneys work. They are our bodys way of filtering out waste products. If we drink plenty of water than the waste products are diluted enough so our urine is light with not much odor. However when we do not drink enough water the waste products being filtered out by the kidneys are more concentrated hense the dark color and odor. All of us experience changes in our urine depending on our water intake, how much we sweat etc. That being the case more water is better but as others have said there is no way really to get older folks to drink more if they don't want to. Others have given great suggestions for you to try. The only thing i know besides what has been stated is to remind her if she does not drink she could end up in hospital with iv. I know that sometimes works with my mom because she hates going to the hospital. Best of luck to you. We all struggle with things like this. Ruth Anne
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Thank you everybody for your wisdom and experience behind your answers in helping me help my Mom.

I'm so very glad and grateful for this website in helping me cope with seemingly impossible situations that continue to "pop up" rendering me dumb founded at best in knowing what to do. May God bless all of you and your families and loved ones!!!
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Lyndee since Our Elders do not sweat much They desire very little water. I'd suggest try giving Your Mum coffee, but reduce the measure. By drinking lots of liquids it would help eliminate the UT's.
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Lyndee since Our Elders do not sweat much They desire very little water. I'd suggest try giving Your Mum coffee, but reduce the measure. By drinking lots of liquids it would help eliminate the UT's.
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Popsicles worked for me with my late mom. Home-made, I used watered down juices, watermelons, and even iced coffee and tea which she loved. I also kept a glass with ice chips or cubes, of water or the juices, and she would partake during the commercials of her soap operas. I figured at least 8 oz. went down as she watched, since I kept replenishing. Also, remember that broth and homemade chicken soup is recognized as comfort food for many folks. Some people just prefer savory as apposed to sweet.
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Have you tried changing the kind of container your mother uses? My mother uses a wine glass for her water, with a little food coloring in it. It has been the best solution to getting her to drink more water that I've come up with.
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It just occurred to me that you might want to check and make sure she isn't avoiding drinking because of swallowing problems. Sometimes problems swallowing thin liquids is the first sign of trouble in that area. Hot beverages like coffee are usually taken in small sips and can cause less trouble than cold beverages.
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I too had this same problem with my 90 year old mother. I finally figured it out...I started buying her the small 8 ounce bottles of water from Costco. She now drinks plenty, in fact will open one & drink it in a matter of minutes without even thinking about it. Yesterday when I left her from a visit, she asked me to get 4 bottles & sit on her table by her chair. I think the small bottles are easier to hold & not so overwhelming. If cost is a problem...buy a case & simply refill them.
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Does she like watermelon?
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I will keep all these GREAT suggestions and apply them. Thank you all again for answering my questions!!!! :)
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We have trouble betting the folks to enjoy their water. They are in AL so they get reminded plenty to drink it, but that doesn't equate to liking it all that much.
Thanks for this thread. Reasons I had not thought of, and things to try that I had not thought of!! Gives me more choices and better understanding, to boot!!
Thank you all!!
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My 82 year old mother in law is in the hospital right now for dehydration. Her blood pressure shot up and she passed out. Now they are giving her fluids via a tube. We have told her over and over again to drink more water but she always had an excuse. Hopefully this hospital stay will encourage her to stay hydrated.
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There are such great ideas here!

My dad also does not like drinking water very much either. This has only been going on about 3 or four weeks though, since the last time he got out of the hospital. Too bad your mom doesn't like lemonade! It made my dad want to drink more (still not as much as I want him to drink, though) and it turned his urine from dark to clear. If you decide to give her coffee, make sure it's decaf!!! Dad can already stay awake and roam up and down the hallway for 72 hours straight. My dad drank LOTS of coffee before he became ill the last time, now his tastes have suddenly changed and I'm still learning what they are. He is leaving his coffee untouched, then asks for more an hour after he pours it out but I then give him lemonade. No more coffee for him for awhile! We always have to stay on our toes!!!

With Mom, the best way to get her to drink more is to tell her it's for my dad. Dad loves sugar and he is not diabetic. Mom is diabetic and SAYS she doesn't like sugar, but she is always sneaking it. I will make a gallon of (decaffeinated) tea and sweeten it with sucralose, then tell her it's for dad. She will drink it up when she thinks I'm not looking and tell me Dad did it. As for my dad, if I tell him it's unsweetened, he won't drink it. I'm forever racking my brain to try and keep those two healthy.

My dad's latest problems began when he was put on 2mg of risperdone. On top of all the other side effects, I believe it's the risperdone that has changed his eating and drinking habits. He is still recovering but I believe it has accelerated his Alzheimer's by about eight months. I don't blame the doctor though. She was just trying to find SOMETHING that would help him rest. Maybe it works for some people, but definitely not for my dad; and he's still recovering.

Sorry for rambling, but sometimes we have to make sure we find out if our loved one needs a change in medication to help their eating and drinking habits. If I had read about the possible side effects of Risperdone on Alzheimer's patients, I would not have given it to him. :(
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Have the doctors told YOU or HER that she needs to drink water? I had the same problem with my Aunt. For years, she drank massive amounts of coffee but maybe 1/2 glass of water a day and absolutely would not listen about how vital water is to our bodies. By the time she came to live with me she had stopped drinking all that coffee but was still not drinking but about 1/2 cup of water. She had only been living with me 2 weeks when I had to take her to ER for constipation (my learning curve), followed by a trip to her primary doc. It took the doc telling her how important the water was and now she drinks about 6-8oz glasses a day. It's still a challenge and I have to remind her constantly but she will drink it. Other than that, I tried everything like you did to no avail. Wish I had some answers for you but hope the thing about the doc helps.
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Well I hate to say this but I only got my dad to drink water by taking AWAY coffee and Ensure. He almost starved himself to death eating nothing but candy and Ensure before I moved in with him. There's way too much sugar in the Ensure and if they will eat food, they don't need it. I couldn't get my dad to eat until I took most of his sugar away from him. Then he was hungry for real food. I told a white lie about the water......he has a rectal ulcer that bleeds badly if he gets constipated so he needs to keep his stool soft. I put a neutral fiber powder in water and measure it out to him in a covered cup with a straw. I keep it filled up until the measured amount is gone. I remind him that the "doctor" said he has to drink all in the glass each day before nighttime. I do have to remind him to "work on your water" several times a day, but he does get it down. I rationed his decaf coffee to 6 oz in morning, a cup at lunch and 6 oz at supper. Again I told him it was too acidic and the "doctor" said it would upset his ulcer. His last bleeding incident scared him so bad that this works for me. He is so much better now, physically, than he was 2 years ago when I moved in. Sometimes you just have to be creative, but if she still respects her doctor, try reminding her WHAT the water will do for her as you try to get her to drink it. You might try a smaller glass too. I've got an 8 oz one with a top that has bears on it (he likes them) with a straw. It stays right beside him. I also make him take all his medications with the water instead of juice or Ensure(when he was getting it). Good luck. You really have to get creative to make these things work sometimes.
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