Follow
Share

My sister doesn't want to allow my mom to come back home, because she is not going to take care of her. She was asked to leave in January, but to avail she hasn't. My older sister has been keeping my mom since November of last year and she is having caregiver burnout.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
If it is your mother's house, you serve her an eviction notice that either your mother signs or the POA signs. See an attorney.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Can you provide a bit more info - is it your mothers house that sister is living in? Was sister the previous caregiver? If so, for how long? How long has sister lived there? What type of care does your mother need and can an outside caregiver be hired?
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

How will your mother be cared for after the sister is out? As Pam stated you will need to evict her. You can't turn off the electricity or make threats. Look up the eviction procedure in your state. Your sister may have rights depending on unknown factors that could make it difficult to get her out.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Yes, this is my mother's house legally. My mother is 89+ years old. My mom has always been independent and has lived alone until 5 years ago. 5 years ago we asked one of my sisters to move in with my mother. She and her daughter moved in; my sister became caregiver burnout after one year. So we asked her to move out and she did. We asked my younger sister to move in to help my mom. She, her husband and her son moved in. She was caregiver for three years. Last year my mother's health began to decline and we found out that my sister was not giving my mom, her medication correctly, so my mom was so disorientated. We could check-in on my mom because my younger sister started to have emotional problems and would padlock the gates so we couldn't get in. So my oldest sister, that's retired, took mom in her home. My younger sister remained in my mom's, we asked her to leave and she said she was, but to no avail she hasn't. My older sister is beginning to have caregiver burnout after a year. I have continued to work these past years, so I would help my sister until we had an argument regarding my mother. So only recently I have been taking my mom every other weekend, which my guilt tells me it's not enough. My only daughter lives in Dallas and is having her first baby and I need to go help her. My mother has a pension and SSI earnings, which my oldest sister has control of. My mom needs night supervision and family members can take care of her during the day. I have tried talking to my younger sister who is living for free at my mom's house; that mom needs to go back home, but she says she is not going to take care of mom. How can we remove her. My mom never wanted to sign a power of attorney or leave a will.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Ryda, go to youtube and watch "Eviction Process in Harris County Texas" just a short five minutes.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Ryda, Pam gave you the answer you need to get your sister out.

She needs to be evicted; that's not a sarcastic answer; it's fact. She refuses to go, she presumably has no title interest in the house, and if she's changed her mailing address to your mother's, that could be considered her legal address.

So, since she won't go voluntarily, you have to evict her. That's the procedure in such a case.

You wrote she's living there fore free? Is she paying any bills? If so, you might have to have those switched as soon as the or just before the eviction to avoid loss of power when she moves. It also wouldn't hurt to have the police present on the day she moves so she doesn't destroy things. From your description, she sounds a bit unstable.

You should also ask the police if you can stop paying the bills. I'm not sure about the law in this kind of situation or in your state, so best to inquire before doing so. However, you can't be expected to pay bills when she's living there against the owner (your mother)'s wishes.

You should also be aware that if your mother refuses to sign a will, intestate (death w/o a will) laws in your state will prevail. That could include your sister, who could end up getting a portion of your mother's assets.

And w/o a POA, no one is going to be able to step in when your mother needs more assistance.

Regardless of whether she wants to sign them or not, they're not only legal, necessary but basically good common sense and protection for the future.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Each state has its own laws for getting a tenant or squatter out and each county may even have a different process. I can say that in Maryland, even a POA cannot represent the homeowner in court for a proceeding exactly like this (they can in lease situations but not in non lease ones). Only the owner themselves or an attorney can do it.

I know this because I lived through the same situation and had to legally evict my brother.

Let me give you an option that could be both cheaper and faster than legal eviction... a bribe. Offer her an enticing enough sum of money to move out by a certain date. Stick to the date, though. If she does not meet the deadline, there is no money at the end of the proceedings.

It might not work but it is worth a try. I offered my brother $1,000 and he even had a place to go and he stayed put. He ended up leaving some time between when the judge said he had to be out and the Sheriff actually knocking on the door.

Good luck and keep us posted.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Thank you so much all for your input. You have given me the courage to have the eviction notice started. I'm paying an eviction agency, but it will be well worth it. I thought it would have been expensive, but it's not.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Just wondering, since you have all had a go at caregiving mom and burned out one after the other how realistic is it that she is going to be able to return to her own home without another full time caregiver?
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

The important question at this point is whether your mother is willing to evict her daughter? If she isn't, then this might not be the solution you are looking for as you don't have the authority to evict your sister yourself. Even if she does evict her, it will take time to go through the system. The baby is coming and you feel guilty because you've been working and only have your mother every other weekend. You understandably want to spend time with your daughter and grandchild.
Your elder sister is burned out and needs a rest. A respite stay of a few months at an assisted living for your mother might be worth checking into while the eviction works it way through the system.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

97YearOldMom makes a good suggestion of a few months in AL; it could be a respite, and presumably it would be safer while the eviction is in process. If there is any kind of security, it could prevent the youngest sister from pleading to or harassing your mother during the eviction.

It also temporarily address CWillie's question of how your mother could return home. This could be a trial placement.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Ryda53, if everyone is getting burned out taking care of your Mom, maybe it is time to sell Mom's house and use that money for Assisted Living.

If your sister wants to stay in the house, then she and her husband can purchase it for fair market value.... has to be fair market value in case in the future your Mom need Medicaid to help pay for her care.

Or do you think your sister would be agreeable to pay a reasonable monthly rent... you can tell her that the rent would be used to pay for the property taxes, mortgage [if any], and for Mom's care at Assisted Living.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

tacy022, I don't think mom can go back home either. Mom needs a facility with 24/7 care. Once that happens, there is no money for the house, so the sister living there has to either pay the utility bills, taxes, insurance, etc. herself, or move out. Even with a caregiver exemption, there's no free ride.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

The answer to your first question is "Evict her."

The the question to your post is, "Are you sure mother can live in her home?" Her care has defeated dedicated, conscientious family caregivers. She cannot be alone at night. It sounds to me like she now needs three shifts of trained and rested caregivers available to her. Whether that is in Assisted Living or Memory Care or a Nursing Home I don't know.

You didn't ask for that kind of advice, and you can certainly just disregard it. But many of us with lots of experience see red flags in the situation you are describing.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

We have waited a year for my younger sister, who was her 2nd caregiver and still remains in the house, to move or to rest. She flat out told me that she wasn't taking mom back. But that's okay, I spoke with my oldest sister, where my mom is now, and she says she will be comfortable at mom's house, whenever my younger sister leaves quietly or by the court. She says the caregiver agency told her that mom needs her accommodations. My mom's house is big enough.
I'm just so hurt and amazed how my younger sister doesn't have a conscience towards my mom. My mom is capable of going to the bathroom, cleaning herself and walking around. She just needs supervision.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Noone is speaking to the the reason the three year caretaker burned out. Where was the family when it noticed the meds were not being handled properly. Did anyone offer help? Pharmacies now offer a service of a three month supply instead of calling in everytime a bottle runs out. Ther are also service by mail for three month supplies. Was she organized and using a tray for a week? There are sophisticated devices that remind a user when it is time for a pill. Having a daughter move in with a Mother is an ideal situation. Instead of putting Mother in a short time home until the eviction is accomplished why don't you use that time to get with the daughter living in the home and see what support she needsfrom the rest of the family to make it work with her staying in the house which is obviously what she wants to do. It sounds like she was unappreciated. Three years is a long time to have been caretaker. I pray for your Mother that Love will prevail in your family. Before you evict your sister try to mend relationships. If it doesn't work out that your sister wants to be full time caregiver would she stay with help from family or outside service or a senior daycare? If she leaves where will she go? Look at all possibilities and give her a chance before you take steps to evict her. She gave alot being a caretaker for three years. There had to be some bond there.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I came from a large family of 6 kids. Out of the 6, 4 of us helped my Mom on a rotating basis. My brother had a business to run, and one sister lived in Canada. My other sisters took care of her personal needs, I ran errands made repairs etc. Because we had a trust attorney everything worked out without issues.
My brother sold his house in the mean time but his new home wasn't finished, our attorney made it very clear that he must pay a reasonable rent equal to the current rental rate for him to live there after my mother died. Even though the house was Mom's free and clear.
What I don't understand is why siblings do not encourage their parents to have trust and wills drawn up with a good estate attorney to advise on the rules. Yes, I know they are expensive but in the long run piece of mind and sibling in-fighting can be eliminated.
My advice is to get a good attorney. I have seen more family break up over issues just like this. SAD!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

You must follow the law on this.....

You must provide a full month WRITTEN notice to terminate. Since you cannot giver her a full month notice for a January move out..(it is already the 3rd of the month) the notice you giver her will be for a Feb 1st move out.

If she is still there on Feb 1st...you must giver her a 3 day notice to vacate or you will file for eviction for "forcible detainer" by holding over. This notice must be served properly....frankly..it is easier to hire a service processor.

If she is still there after the 3 days expires...go to court house and file for "writ of possession". In other words...eviction.

Here is the full Texas landlord/tenant statues in state law

State of Texas Eviction Law

Property Code

Sec. 91.001. Notice for Terminating Certain Tenancies.
(a) A monthly tenancy or a tenancy from month to month may be terminated by the tenant or the landlord giving notice of termination to the other.
(b) If a notice of termination is given under Subsection (a) and if the rent-paying period is at least one month, the tenancy terminates on whichever of the following days is the later:
(1) the day given in the notice for termination; or
(2) one month after the day on which the notice is given.
(c) If a notice of termination is given under Subsection (a) and if the rent-paying period is less than a month, the tenancy terminates on whichever of the following days is the later:
(1) the day given in the notice for termination; or
(2) the day following the expiration of the period beginning on the day on which notice is given and extending for a number of days equal to the number of days in the rent-paying period.
(d) If a tenancy terminates on a day that does not correspond to the beginning or end of a rent-paying period, the tenant is liable for rent only up to the date of termination.
(e) Subsections (a), (b), (c), and (d) do not apply if:
(1) a landlord and a tenant have agreed in an instrument signed by both parties on a different period of notice to terminate the tenancy or that no notice is required; or
(2) there is a breach of contract recognized by law.
Acts 1983, 68th Leg., p. 3625, ch. 576, Sec. 1, eff. Jan. 1, 1984. Amended by Acts 1985, 69th Leg., ch. 200, Sec. 3, eff. Aug. 26, 1985.
Sec. 24.001. Forcible Entry and Detainer.
(a) A person commits a forcible entry and detainer if the person enters the real property of another without legal authority or by force and refuses to surrender possession on demand.
(b) For the purposes of this chapter, a forcible entry is:
(1) an entry without the consent of the person in actual possession of the property;
(2) an entry without the consent of a tenant at will or by sufferance; or
(3) an entry without the consent of a person who acquired possession by forcible entry.
Acts 1983, 68th Leg., p. 3514, ch. 576, Sec. 1, eff. Jan. 1, 1984.
Amended by Acts 1989, 71st Leg., ch. 688, Sec. 1, eff. Sept. 1, 1989.

Sec. 24.002. Forcible Detainer.
(a) A person who refuses to surrender possession of real property on demand commits a forcible detainer if the person:
(1) is a tenant or a subtenant wilfully and without force holding over after the termination of the tenant's right of possession;
(2) is a tenant at will or by sufferance, including an occupant at the time of foreclosure of a lien superior to the tenant's lease; or
(3) is a tenant of a person who acquired possession by forcible entry.
(b) The demand for possession must be made in writing by a person entitled to possession of the property and must comply with the requirements for notice to vacate under Section 24.005.

Acts 1983, 68th Leg., p. 3514, ch. 576, Sec. 1, eff. Jan. 1, 1984.
Amended by Acts 1985, 69th Leg., ch. 200, Sec. 1, eff. Aug. 26, 1985; Acts 1989, 71st Leg., ch. 688, Sec. 2, eff. Sept. 1, 1989.

Sec. 24.003. Substitution of Parties. If a tenancy for a term expires while the tenant's suit for forcible entry is pending, the landlord may prosecute the suit in the tenant's name for the landlord's benefit and at the landlord's expense.
It is immaterial whether the tenant received possession from the landlord or became a tenant after obtaining possession of the property.

Acts 1983, 68th Leg., p. 3515, ch. 576, Sec. 1, eff. Jan. 1, 1984.
Amended by Acts 1985, 69th Leg., ch. 891, Sec. 1, eff. Aug. 26, 1985.

Sec. 24.004. Jurisdiction.
A justice court in the precinct in which the real property is located has jurisdiction in forcible entry and detainer and forcible detainer suits.
Acts 1983, 68th Leg., p. 3515, ch. 576, Sec. 1, eff. Jan. 1, 1984.
Amended by Acts 1985, 69th Leg., ch. 891, Sec. 1, eff. Aug. 26, 1985.

Sec. 24.005. Notice to Vacate Prior to Filing Eviction Suit.
(a) If the occupant is a tenant under a written lease or oral rental agreement, the landlord must give a tenant who defaults or holds over beyond the end of the rental term or renewal period at least three days' written notice to vacate the premises before the landlord files
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Hiring an eviction company like you said you have done, is the right way to go to get your sister out. That was your question.

I think other comments on your mothers care should be addressed. As your mother gets older, she is going to go down hill even more and need more help.
Legal stuff needs to be addressed. Ask her why she won't take care of the legal paperwork. Is it money? Afraid of losing control and having her kids put her in a (God forbid) "Home"? At least ask her if she wants to be put on machines. This morning I can't think of the terminology.

I don't envy your family. I think to most of us, who are not emotionally involved, she has already reached the stage where she needs to be in assisted living at best. You will eventually come to that decision also. My daughter has had to do it with her father, and I hope when my time comes, I won't be a burden to my kids. Personally, I plan on going into assisted living and not be a burden to them.
Last thought, you and your sisters need to be sure you have your affairs in order so your kids won't have the problems you are having.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Who was asked to leave whose home? I am confused.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Ryda
What is the plan for mom's care if and when she returns home ? Will she accept hired caregivers into her house ? Can she afford to hire caregivers ?
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Thank you for all your inquiries and answers. I'm going through so much emotional feelings and guilt with this issue. I spoke with my oldest sister (her now caregiver) and asked about my mom's arrangements (when we finally get my youngest sister out of my mom's house); she replied that she was going to move in with my mom. This one important issue is that my mom come home, because she has a home that no one help her buy. If my sister will be committed to come and live with her and continue to be her caregiver there will be no problem, She can be rewarded my mom's house. My mom shared her bank account with my oldest sister. I have faith in God that my oldest sister is doing the right thing about my mom's care and finances. My older sister is very hard to talk to; that's why I have such a hard time talking to her. She has always been that way. But I have to remember to keep my cool (senses) when talking to her about mom. I cannot see my mother in a nursing home, I just can't. She told me a long time ago, she hopes that we never put her in a nursing home.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

You might see if you can find a pro-bono lawyer or a domestic violence agency in your area, that will help you get a Vulnerable Adult Protection Order (VAPO) to help get your sister moved out of the house. Even a temporary order will get the ball rolling by buying some time...get her moved out and your older sister and mother moved back in.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter