Follow
Share

My Step Mom has always been mean and crazy, but lately she keeps losing things, running into things when she is driving (not other cars), can't remember where things are...gets lost when she is driving, etc....She doesn't think anything is wrong with her - she thought it was always my Dad. She would call the police almost weekly on my Dad. She would tell the police that my Dad who could hardly walk put cameras in her bedroom (they slept in different bedrooms). She takes pain pills and kept saying my Dad was stealing them. I wrote yesterday a question on here - regarding my Dad and trying to help him. He is in the hospital and needing to go into nursing home. My Step - Mom will not pay a penny for his care. I have POA - and trying to get things worked out. She hates me. I have called adult protective services on her - per the nursing home he was in before going to the hospital. She verbal abuses him. The nursing home will not let him back in when he leaves the hospital b/c of my Step-Mom.
Anyways - she needs help! She needs to be n a nursing home herself. So my question is even though I don't like her - she needs help! How do someone go about doing so? She and I don't have a relationship anymore b/c of me trying to help my Dad - (me pay for his nursing home with private pay) she thinks I'm trying to take money from her - My Dad and I made an apt with her doctor back in August to tell him she needs help (the doctor is pretty much a quack doctor anyways) but he said that he couldn't prescribe her medicine b/c she doesn't think anything is wrong with herself. He said there wasn't anything my Dad nor I could do??????

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Sounds like your step-Mom has dementia/Alzheimer's, therefore the things she doesn't isn't her, it the disease acting out. Or she could have an urinary tract infection [UTI] which would cause very similar symptoms. An UTI in an elderly person is so much different when it comes to symptoms compared to UTI's in a much younger person.

The only way you will be able to get her any type of help is when she becomes sick enough or has a bad fall to be taken to the ER... then tests could be done... and the placement into a continuing care facility.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

It sounds like she is trying to keep his money, she can't do that. You can stop her with the poa. If I were you, I would call the police and get a lawyer to stop her from signing any papers, she is not capable. Also she sounds dangerous at this stage. She needs to be stopped.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Absolutely, get thee to an eldercare attorney with this. Dad should have control over enough of the family income to cover his needs. Thank God you are his POA and not her.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

You need to speak to a lawyer. Your father is entitled, I would think, to his pension and his SS. If a Vet, there may be services there. She needs an evaluation. Also, if record of her driving history maybe a doctor can contact DMV about revolking her license. Does she have children? Time to tell them to take over.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

If you have assets, see if your state has a person who can be her guardian.
Explain the situation. In some states there are two offices of guardianship.
One for people who are on medicaid and have no assets. These guardians try hard but have really large caseloads. The guardians for people with assets have smaller caseloads and are very helpful. Like already mentioned you may need
legal help; but I think the state guardianships can help with that, too.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

If she is a danger to herself or others, you may have to get her Baker acted to force her to be in the hospital and get evaluated as to why. If she's too out of control you may have to get some police help. Sad situation. I'm so sorry.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Who is prescribing pain meds, and for what? Could your stepmother possibly be addicted? I worked in a rehab years ago in a detox unit, and addiction isn't particular to any age group. Forgetfulness, erratic thoughts and behavior go hand in hand with addiction. Just a possibility.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

1.....Please hide the keys and tell her "let's look together for them". That's what I had to do with my mom. 2.....Suggestion....Have someone come to the house to evaluate her. I had to trick my mom (and you don't want to have to do that) to go to her facility due to her being physically/mentally abusive to my dad after his surgery. It just had to been done. She was so sweet but turned into another person after dementia/alz. crept in. 3.....FIND NEW DOCTOR. Your MIL might have something else going on. It doesn't always have to be dementia. Medications, UTI's, dehydration, etc. My parents dr. was really good with all tests and all paper work. I told my mom we needed to go talk about dad and dr. was good at turning it to her (I had already warned dr. ahead of time through nurse). It was a senior/elder care dr. and I worked along side her social worker. I know you feel overwhelmed at this time but it will get worse if not treated correctly. Good Luck and God Bless.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

This is the woman's stepmom doubt if she has any control over her. You really need a lawyer to get your Dad half of the money he entitled to. I know a family that the parents divorced so the father got help.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

DeHilBe, if the townspeople where you grew up in Germany had an unusually high rate of senior dementia, there may have been some toxin in the environment that affected the brain over time. An alkaloid contaminant in rye known as "ergot" is a strong contender, having even played a role in the medieval witch hunts.

One thing certain is that it was not the diet rich in animal fats. Healthy fat benefits the brain and the older one gets the more critical it is to protect the brain cells. It is the current mania for fat-free everything and prescribing statins to keep cholesterol numbers unnaturally low that has led to the epidemic of dementia in this country.

Pre WW2 the animals would have been raised on natural feed. Cows are especially problematic when fed corn and grains, a practice that became popular in the USA following WW2 in order to make use of excess grain production. Corn and grain-fed cows have drastically reduced levels of a cardio-protective nutrient called conjugated linoleic acid (CLA), which leads to heart attacks in humans and subsequently the knee-jerk reaction of reaching for statin drugs.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter