This has been a constant problem... if she hears one of us use the restroom, she will be fine for HOURS, then the second we close the door she has to go, and multiple times. We live in an apartment with two bed rooms and a living room and I live in the living room, so I very rarely have privacy. Like... once a month for a few hours.. other than when they are asleep but obviously they can walk into the living room any time to get into the kitchen.
For example today... she was fine, went to the bathroom, and hung out with my sister and I for an hour or so, and then I started preparing my shower, (getting my face masks, towel, change, etc) as I go in to place my towel the door is open and I see my grandma on the toilet.. fine... I wait.. then I enter. I love my bathroom time it’s one of the only sacred times I have with myself, so I’m washing my face mask off, I finally have my clothes off for more than five minutes, she knocks again... okay FINE... ten minutes later I am shaving and then AGAIN!!!
This happens so often that it drives my mother and I up the wall... she guilts us into opening the door, even if we are mid BM! If we don’t come out exactly when she wants, she has set up her toilet/5 gallon bucket in her room to go then.
On several occasions I have listened outside the door, and I hear her barely tinkle... sometimes she does pass something but it’s hardly a complete pass,
and it is no fail!!! We have tested our theories and yes, she is deliberately going when we have to go. Idk if it’s a reflex thing, psychological in some way I’m sure, but to the extent that she will pass anything at all?!! Is this normal for dementia, or is it a part of some OCD reflex?? Sometimes, she really will have an accident, although rare, it happens more than we are proud of, but we can’t rush our own bodies sometimes...
I also suffer from schizoaffective disorder so sometimes I need these times alone to myself... not once have they gone interrupted. multiple times...
I feel like I’m abusing my grandma into pooping herself sometimes when I literally can’t stop myself to let her in...
What do we do!??
that is a good alternative.. but we still want to tackle what this behavior is actually about to.. it’s definitely beyond “hearing the faucet run”... at least I believe so
Another idea would be to take her to the bathroom before you go there yourself, then you would at least know that it is safe to ignore her on the other side of the door.
Best of luck
Pretend you are going to use the bathroom to get her to go. Then go shower in there. Get her a bedside commode.