How does one handle when an Alzheimer's person gets to ranting and raving and upset?

Apparently, everyone here missed the part where she stated her mother already had boderline personality. That is a entirely different scenario.
In the same boat and at my wits end.
When it is just the Alzheimer's it is easy... throw in the maniac episodes it is a nightmare of abuse.
Anyone else out there who can give advice to something similar?

I agree with Madea: "divert their attention". A cookie, a banana, or any other food they like can work like magic. In my case, a puzzle is of great help. 35 pieces or less. I bring it out and start putting 2 pieces together. I stop then and leave the room. He usually gets involved and forgets what was so upsetting and I can scape to the outside to smell the flowers (or I go crazy too, and that's no good).

My dad thinks I am stealing his money, it is being reenforced by a woman that visits him. (He is in memory care) His ad litem attorney has given this woman permission to continue caring for him because that is what HE wants. (I have filed for guardianship per the VA's request, he has severe dementia) I have been fighting this for six months....does anyone know if I can file criminal charges against her for alienating my dad from me? He does not want to see me and gets upset when I visit. I am an only child. Until six months ago I have had a very wonderful relationship with him.

People of any age and condition, can show what we used to call "CBS"
[Crabby Baby Syndrome].
They get crabby, temper-tantrum, get cantankerous, and/or act-out more.
That usually means one of 3 things needs remedied
1. Thirsty;
2. Hungry;
3. Tired.
Remedy those things, starting in that order;
if #1 fixes it, can stop.
Or, if that doesn't quite fix it, move on to #2, etc.
But, IF the elder has always had a mean streak in their behaviors, which at times it gets worse, that might also require doing things to derail their crazy-train, like agreeing with them, or simply saying "I love you", or, changing the subject in whatever ways fit.
Those little white lies are much help, and innocent; the elder is getting their needs met, and proper care given; those white lies simply help derail the ANT's which they sometimes get stuck in. [ANT's = Automatic Negative Thinking].
They aren't their old selves, they cannot process reasoning or logic.
Trying to explain things to them, usually sets up worse frustrations or fears, related to them failing to understand explanations.
Keep communications as basic and simple as you can, if the elder has gotten beyond reasoning or explaining.
Some times it can be purely amazing, what simply telling the person "I love you!" can accomplish; it inserts something which is good, yet totally avoids getting dragged into their arguments, angers and fears.
The reason that usually works, is because no one can think of two different things at the same time. Really.

My father had this disease, and studies from the association had good suggestions. Have you tried saying 'I know what you mean. Oh, I agree. My goodness, I wouldn't have thought of that myself. You know so many things. Let's have some milk and pie, tea and cookies, or cup of coffee." Why would you do that? Because we must live in their world, and it calms them down nicely. The world of white lies allows us to agree with the AH patient, and helps end the tirade. Also, switching to food allows a change of mood. Very often these times of upset will occur around 5pm or later and are called 'Sundown Reflex'. Don't try to re-orient the patient, don't remove the patient from their normal setting or the next day will be a very bad day for confusion, etc. At night my Dad would think my mother (married 60 years) was a man (short hair). She would call me, I'd race over and we'd have graham crackers and coffee and he'd ask me (long hair so female) if I knew 'him'. I'd say yes, that person is very nice, Dad. I didn't try (based on the association advice) to reorient Dad that the person was his wife. Everything calmed down. He didn't know I was his daughter, but being kind, quiet and calm helped settle him down. I hope this helps. Kath in Iowa

The person I care for with dementia follows me around like a shadow. How can I get some space without hurting her feelings?

When I have to take my client places she is very happy to go out, but gets very agitated in the car.

Recently my diabetic husband became very angry because of a mixup about when I would join him at a restaurant. I stayed calm and just kept saying smoothly, "When you're hungry, you need to eat. Don't worry about me." ... "When you're hungry, go ahead and eat." When he ran out of energy yelling, I just patted him and said, in as soft and sympathetic tone as I could manage, "You've spent a lot of energy, just rest now." It worked!

Next day when he complained of being tired, crashed -- I said sympathetically, "Well, you spent a lot of energy yelling at me, better rest today." ... "Well, you spent a lot of energy yelling last week." That seemed to work too!

@Chimonger,
I have a little memo/meeting recorder that I keep in my pocket all day recording. It's an Olympus VN-4100PC several years old, cost about $60 at that time; the newer ones are even more convenient. On a day when something memorable happens, I plug the recorder into my computer and upload and save the file. Editing it to get just the important thing is easy.

A pocket cell phone can make a video too; we see them often on YouTube. When an incident starts, you push a button to start it recording.

Also there are small cameras, size of a deck of cards, which record continuously all day, with or without sound. AFTER something happens that you want to save, you push a button to save the last several minutes filmed. Cost about $30! Look for "dash camera" or "dashboard camera".

None of these take "hours of watching".

Good luck!

My husband seems terrified and scared all the time. He is very anxious about a period in his past when his best friend Johnny had to tell him about his younger brother was killed in an auto accident. He keeps yelling for Johnny all the time and is afraid of everything, Afraid of getting up or sitting down. He screams we got to go see Johnny right now. The more you try to reason with him the angrier he gets. It all just seems to esculate. He is hurting so bad. He got violent at the assisted living facility & was knocking people down. He is now in the psyciatric ward in a hospital & they are trying to regulate his meds. Has anyone encountered this?

My mother has not been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, but because of her Borderline Personality Disorder, I've had to deal with raging for years. Recently she was scheduled for an outpatient procedure and from the minute I picked her up, I could see she was loaded for bear! She started in with "if you were any kind of a daughter, you would have stayed with me last night and set the alarm for me". She is in an assisted living, and there were many people she could have asked to help her with this, but when she's stressed, everything is my fault.
When we got to the hospital, she got out of the car, swore at me, and then once inside decided she was not going to have the procedure.
Here's where I went off the tracks. I should have just said, "ok, if that's what you want", and taken her home. Instead, I engaged with her, telling her that the doctor felt it was the right thing to do, etc. JUST WHAT SHE WANTED!!! It is amazing that she seems to delight in arguing, and since I'm the only one around, if I'm not being wise enough to side step her baiting, it never goes well. (long boring details here, which I'll skip). Finally took her home after she spoke with the doctor, and had not spoken to her since. When she is being this unreasonable, ranting and raving, the best thing for me is to stay away. That was 9/24. Yesterday she called and asked if I'd take her for her flu shot Friday, just like nothing ever happened.

I resent the fact that I have to take her abuse, but find the less I correct her, contradict her, etc. the easier my life is. So I keep the anger under control. She has always been this way, but is worse now that she's older. I still struggle with acceptance--everyone wants to have the mother, who's a sweet old lady, not a raving maniac.

She called the other day 10/01 and left a message that she had told off the gal in admissions and wasn't going to take her shit any more, etc. and now they were going to throw her out. This has happened before and I got all upset. This time I thought well, if they are going to throw her out, someone will call me, so I just didn't respond. My life is so much better if I can stay in a frame of mind which allows me to detach from her drama. So, it's possible to have to deal with the rants, raving and rage even without Alz. Disease, and a constant challenge for all of us.

Debparkhurst - I want to be in your memory care unit! Just not quite yet. It sounds so humane.

The Alzheimer Assoc. teaches that all behavior is an attempt to communicate. It is important to remember that your parent cannot tell you what is wrong anymore. Her acting out may be her attempt to tell you that something is wrong. I work in Memory Care, and that is what we do when one of our residents expresses themself this way. We look to see what might be causing it - are they hungry? thirsty? sitting in soiled underwear? cold? too hot? feeling alone? afraid? out of control?

We try everything we can think of, record the results over time, and spread the word if we find something that works. If we don't - we go back and rethink it and try to think out of the box. Only in the most desperate situation do we go to the Dr. and try medication. Sometimes they are necessary. People with dementia can become paranoid and can also hallucinate. If your safety is threatened, by all means contact her doctor!

My best wishes for you in this situation - with creativity it can be dealt with. It is especially tough to deal with your loved one. I hope that you can find a way to get a break from caretaking when you need it! Don't fear calling on others for help.

Stay calm, ask questions to see if you can get to the root of what set them off in the first place. If they misplaced something help them locate it, if all else fails walk away as long as they are safe and try again in a while. You may find a totally different personality when you return.

ellantz...
video is great idea, not always do-able.
Wish I'd had funds to afford Video surveillance the whole time she was here.
I had also tried using a tiny pocket recorder....but it was too hard to operate, so got very little on tape.

Video surveillance we finally set up [too late] required massive amounts of data storage, lots of editing to remove useless parts.
Not a motion activated system...it was the video cam on the computer--so it was limited to one room, and required the computer to run all the time.

If anyone knows of a video surveillance system that can be one-button activated, and can cover the whole house,
or better yet, a portable unit that could cover antics in the car
....please share that information!

ferris1,
I tried very hard to walk away...with Mom, that rarely worked...she'd just follow me around raging. She made her attacks very personal and pointed--made it very hard to not take it personally. I actually spent time hiding from her in the house, or going outside where she wold not likely look..
She always has had to have a target person who can be the "bad guy" for her to rage against--but everyone else she was used to targeting, had died--so I was then, "it". She does not have simple AD, or Dementias; she's had a complicated mental health picture all her life--aging made it worse, as some kind of dementia has crept into it now, too..

I disagree with the person who said call 911. I have done that several times when my Mom physically attacked me. It is her home, and they say they can't really do anything because she has Alzheimer's. I have had to learn to walk away and lock myself in my room is my only option (and she will kick the door, scream at me, pull things off the walls).

What I learned is the elder is the person they care about protecting (rightly so). Walk away when it happens. I know how hard it is. My Mom has always been a raging, angry, verbally abusive woman. But as long as you are able to leave the situation temporarily for your own safety, do so. Then consider placement.

I'm about to start the process of looking for memory care facilities (in my hometown which is 3 hours away). So it is going to be a lot of stress, but I am committed.

I am lucky - raging and violence is over quickly. I know he is very tired and needs sleep. He will fight going to bed. I need to push and coax him as he fists out, but does not actually make contact on me. He does not know how to get on the bed now and I have to manhandle him as he kicks out. Once I get him down , he is instantly asleep! He wakes up one hour or so later and is angelic!
I used to give him Ativan daily. This works but tends to make him sleepy all day.
Now able to stop Ativan and only use it when we need to take him to an event which might make him agitate.
I suggest you get the Doc to prescribe Ativan - start with low dose daily
Gwendo

Let the person rant and rave and be upset. Wouldn't you be upset to lose your memory? My husband told me the other day he "feels guilty" because he can't remember. I almost cried, but I assured him he was not to "blame". I walk away, go outside, feed the geese, ducks and pigeons in our laguna, and come back and he is fine. He usually asks, "I was worried about you, where did you go?" Try to remain calm, and don't take the ranting and raving personally.

Chimonger, two words: VIDEO CAMERA

At some level, the elder knows what they are doing is inappropriate---but they cannot help themselves. We call it "Crabby Baby Syndrome"--except any age person can exhibit this--it's just like a 2 year old having a mega-tantrum--but uglier, when the person is in an adult size body.

If they have meds to help calm them , they may refuse to take them.
When diversion, walking away, talking softly to them, etc. fail to work, it might be time to call 911 to report their behavior. Seriously.

I failed to call 911 when Mom was "pulling out all the stops"--she would become ranting, raving angry, raging around the house, following me even into the bathroom, saying bizarre things, accusing horrible things--there was nowhere she wouldn't follow, raging.
Nothing I said deterred her, once escalated into her episodes.
The usual therapeutic communication techniques like "identify the person's behaviors to them" backfired--she would turn those around and throw it right back at me [straight jacket time?!?].

A few times, simply looking at her and softly telling her "I love you" or "God bless you", seemed to work briefly, but not consistently.
When she started hitting, it was so shocking, I couldn't think what to do, and thought, well, she's over 80, what real harm could she really do? So I didn't call anyone at first--that was a mistake. I did call several agencies and resource people, ask questions on how to handle things, and got diverse answers, none of which helped.
When she finally whopped me so hard, it left a bone bruise on one arm, I figured out to call 911 and report it. One of my Docs saw the bruise, but since they didn't see Mom cause it, all they could do is put note in my records about what I reported to them--and it was many days after the fact, and I had not gone to the E.R. to report it.
I felt so confused, and had been told so many conflicting things on how to handle it, it was 2 days until I called to report it. The officer felt I was not serious, and didn't understand that when it happened, it was impossible for me to call, since there was no phone there.

IF I had consistently called reports to 911 about Mom attacking and raging at me, there'd have been a better record on file.
THAT could have helped other professionals see her behaviors.
When I finally managed to get social Services to come do an in-home evaluation, they only stayed 2 hours...if they'd stayed longer, they'd have seen her subsequent melt-down happen in front of them.
But, since they left at 2 hours, they failed to catch her behaviors in action.
Mom was able to maintain a good facade for 2 hours, although, she was taking breaks to go to her room during that meeting, which allowed her to refresh her facade. She has been very good at hiding her behaviors, for a lifetime, except from those in a household with her.

The Systems we have currently, appear to avoid admitting anyone who might be a troublesome in-patient. It's like they are playing "hot potato" with the elder--particularly those who are troublesome, and/or, who will be getting State Aid.
Professionals often have a very hard time seeing a person's behaviors, as practitioners only see a person for a few minutes, or a few hours. If a person has mental ills that allow them to hide their behaviors, or their Alzheimer's or dementia has not progressed too far yet, they can often manage to avoid diagnosis, until those symptoms/behaviors get too pronounced to miss--by then, though, they've laid waste to families caring for them. .

It is possible, that if the elder needs hospitalized for other reasons, a psych eval can be asked for....but there's NO guarantee the behaviors will show up enough for the Psych to see them, document them, etc....

An abused caregiver can refuse to allow the elder back in their home, forcing Social Services to find a more appropriate place for the elder--they WILL try to force a caregiver to take the elder back into their home, though--you must be strong enough to forbid it, if your goal is getting the elder placed in a nursing home or assisted living.

Our society really does not want to "see" mental health issues, or deal with them..they get avoided unless/until they are really glaring issues and cannot be avoided--but avoid them, we do, until they get really out of hand.
Families and friends often refuse to admit a person has problems, and have frequently actively denied there's a problem, even though it is staring them in the face, or raging around the house---they might simply call it "moods", or other polite euphemisms, because they themselves want to avoid being labeled or dealing with it constructively.
Treatment for mental health issues is a crap-shoot, too often, which insurance refuses to deal with--though at least one good thing about Obamacare, is that mental health needs are being better covered [more visits].

IF no family members or friends are willing to help document the person's behaviors, the Caregiver is SCREWED, unless they can get at least one or more other practitioners to witness the behaviors, and/or, there is a history of 911 calls reporting the elders' behaviors.
Worst case scenario, is that the abused caregiver calls in to report it, and "elder abuse" is slandered on the Caregiver [Caregivers have NO legal protections from abusive elders, but elders have numerous protections from abusive Caregivers].
At that point, it might be worth it, to get the elder removed from your home, despite the accusations, and deal with the accusations later.

IF an elder is acting out,
and you are NOT caregiving them in your own house,
or under their roof with them
--that is, if you live elsewhere and only come over to help them out....you can call Social Services to check on them, 911 to get a "well-check" [weekly,even!] etc., to create a paper trail showing the elder has problems, which eventually can lead to them being placed in a Care home, or other facility that can better help them.

It's ugly, upsetting, and difficult to handle, no matter what. We do not want to see our elders deteriorating, losing their autonomy. And we really do not want to lose them...but that is what is happening--we are losing them, by inches. It is painful to go through.
Sometimes, we have to get counseling help for ourselves, to help deal with it.

Divert their attention to something else that is enjoyable and engaging. Works thus far for me.

a horse tranquilizer should do it. lol. just kidding. They need a psych eval if they keep doing this. You can't have them running around ranting and raving. They can have accidents or worse attack you. My dad has to be subdued or he will scare the nurses. I tell them to use a horse tranquilizer as a joke to lighten the mood :). I swear, it isn't right to be abusive, I don't care what age you are. Nor just because you have an illness. You parent probably would be upset with themselves if they were doing that (unless they were like that before). Anyway, some effective psych meds can make all the difference between insanity and sanity. They have ways to calm people down and I don't hesitate to tell them to use them for my dad. good luck.

Although, it is hard to say for sure, I feel that the person with AD ranting and raging must be difficult for them too. In this instance, I feel medication under proper Dr supervision is warranted. Reading from other web-sites, I have learned that meds like Seroquel is very helpful with the aggression and raging. My Mom had the same symptoms years ago, but it did not last long, thankfully. Otherwise, I would have sought pharmaceutical help. It was difficult watching her raging over stupid, minor things. It took a HUGE toll on her and everyone around her. Good luck.

Would like to add, that Perseverance's advice works well with ANYONE in this situation, not just an Alzheimer's situation ;-)

Talk calmly to them, tell them over and over that there ok and that you love them. It's so important to reassure as many times as you have to.Tell them that your there for them. Remember how afraid they feel and need you to help them feel better. Look past the behavior to the cause and don't take anything they say personally. I don't know if your loved one is at home or not but check for a UTI and keep them on as little medication as possible or at the lowest doses. It's been my experience that older people don't need as much of a med. Bring healthy food if you can and keep them hydrated as dehydration causes confusion.

You mimic them. No, just kidding. You pray, tell them you love them, and that you'll be back later when they calm down. It's important to walk away and not engage with them unless you want to add fuel to the fire.