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Thanks for the support. I will raise the idea of non medical transport with my siblings, but I am not sure they realize the seriousness of the issues. Or that all of her caregivers do, either. As she has been very sweet to some of them. My own feeling is that it is time to place her in memory care, but she may end up home again due to the holidays. She is currently in locked geri psych unit, as she tried to grab the steering wheel on the highway. From the back seat.
Lots of good answers. Child proof measures sound like the best approach. One additional thought: if she is short and the seat belt is up near her face, she could be more annoyed by it. I am under 5 ft and I always need to adjust the cross chest belts.
Look for the child lock for the rear doors on the edge of the door, only visible when it is open. A pin or toggle that you slide up or down. It’s easy to work and usually well labelled. It will prevent the door from being opened from inside.
We drove my Mom every day, as getting out to dinner was the one way she kept active in her dementia, and it gave her a lot of joy. Only one time did she want to get out of the car and started to while driving, and that is when she wasn't feeling well. I pulled over very quickly and gently talked her out if it, focusing on the "why" she wanted to get out. I would take care of the "why" first even in dementia. It turned out she wanted to get to te doctor. I told her it would be much faster if I drove her and she was good with that. I of course watched her like a hawk. It was just the one time, however if I knew about the child seatbelt safety locks, I would have done that. Or if I had thought about the door safety locks. Some cars have them for the front seat, as well. If nothing else, it might be as simple as putting a strip of duct tape over each, each time. If they asked I would say "Oh, my car is funny sometimes and this keeps us safe." Something to that effect.
I bought child locks for the seat belt from Amazon . I use this for my husband and put him in the back seat . Also I reverse the door locks in him room to keep him in . I use a wyze camera to view him no monthly fees.
You can get a lock for the seatbelt buckle. Try Amazon and search for “Safety Buckle Pro”. As for the door handles my vehicle has child safety lock on the back doors. When you open the door and look at the end of the open door there should be a small sliding switch. When it is in the in position you can’t open the door from the inside. Good luck! I’m lucky that my mom doesn’t have the strength to buckle or unbuckle her seatbelt. The door child locks are turned in at all time as well as the window locks.
I see all these wonderful ideas about using seat belts. Don't overlook one vital issue: wearing seatbelts is The Law.
If the recipient and driver are no longer safe in the vehicle, professional transport is necessary. It may cost more like this but far less expensive than for accident on the road waiting to happen. The driver is responsible and may be sued for a serious accident with injuries or death. Driver could also lose his or her driver license, possible facing jail time for unsafe driving.
You can get an angel clip for the belt buckle and child locks on in the back seat. If you're worried about her grabbing the driver or anything like that, though, that's a whole other problem!
sadly, that is just what occurred, even though she was sitting in the back seat. Even though I had ordered a set belt lock from Amazon, it had not yet arrived. The police were involved, and she is now in a geriatric psychiatric unit after 2 days in the ER. As her health care proxy, I am the one who signed her in.
Start putting her in the back seat and put the child locks on. These are controlled by the panel on the driver's side door. You can restrain her when travelling with a carseat harness These are available online. You can also force her to wear protective mitts. Thee kind that are used for dementia residents in hospitals and nursing homes. They look like oven mitts. She will not be able to get them off herself and they will prevent her from taking off the seatbelt and pretty much doing anything else.
I'm thinking like many tasks in dementia-land, this will require progression through the stages: independant - supervision - assistance required - full assist.
The stage you may need now is Mom sits in back, child car door lock ON + someone else to ride beside her to distract, keep a firm eye on or reclick the seatbelt on. If ANY resistance - game over. Move to medical non-emergency transport.
Barb has a horrific tale of someone opening a door mid highway if I remember.. all transport was via non-emergency medical transport after that.
I used the child locks for my wannabee escape child years ago. I was attuned to the 'click' & would pull over at the next safe opportunity. Alternated between bribes, threats, drove into Police Station carpark once... Thankfully grew up. Elders won't!
I have LO's I refuse to drive anywhere, due to various factors, but one refusing to wear a seatbelt at times - dress rumple or dirt from the seatbelt or other nonsense. I'm picturing driving that LO past the Police Station now.. seatbelt on quick smart! Round the next corner, seatbelt off 😖. Which is why my policy is *No seatbelt - no ride*.
It is a very serious safety issue for both the person with dementia and the driver of the vehicle. If the OP has to travel with her mother, she has to properly restrain and secure her in the car.
these look like a good solution to the seat belt issue. Not all of her caregivers have child proof locks in front seat, and she is being a real "pip" about being 'demoted' to the back seat like a little kid.
Fashion some kind of fabric sleeve that can slide over the buckle. You can slide it down to unbuckle it, then up over the buckle after she's locked in. You could sew a little piece of cardboard or something stiff into it to cover the button itself. If you put some elastic at both ends, it'd make it harder for her to slide it, too.
You do need to make her stay buckled, because an unbuckled body becomes a projectile in an accident. I used to be in the automotive business, and the crash test videos of unbuckled people are horrific, not just for the person who isn't buckled, but for the people in the front seat they slam into.
Clairesmum, my Mom was the master of unlocking the seatbelt. We would be sitting at the traffic light to our subdivision and hear that all familiar sound of her unclicking the belt.... [sigh].
It was tough enough to even get Mom to use a seatbelt. She would make up all different types of excuses.... her best one was it would wrinkle her dress.
One day my then hubby tried something after my parents got into the car. He left the car door on the driver's side ajar, while sitting in the driveway, so it would "ding" constantly until all the seatbelts were in place. That got Mom to finally use the belt.
We just gave up on trying to keep Mom from unclicking that belt when she was blocks away from home.
You put her in the back seat with the child lock and window locks on. The seatbelt I have no idea how that can be resolved. She really needs to be able to get out in an emergency. Does the law say backseat adults have to have a belt on? If so, call your local Police Dept and see if they have any ideas. I wonder if it would still click into place if you turn it upside down so button is on the bottom.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
As for the door handles my vehicle has child safety lock on the back doors. When you open the door and look at the end of the open door there should be a small sliding switch. When it is in the in position you can’t open the door from the inside.
Good luck! I’m lucky that my mom doesn’t have the strength to buckle or unbuckle her seatbelt. The door child locks are turned in at all time as well as the window locks.
If the recipient and driver are no longer safe in the vehicle, professional transport is necessary. It may cost more like this but far less expensive than for accident on the road waiting to happen. The driver is responsible and may be sued for a serious accident with injuries or death. Driver could also lose his or her driver license, possible facing jail time for unsafe driving.
You can restrain her when travelling with a carseat harness These are available online.
You can also force her to wear protective mitts. Thee kind that are used for dementia residents in hospitals and nursing homes. They look like oven mitts. She will not be able to get them off herself and they will prevent her from taking off the seatbelt and pretty much doing anything else.
Mom rode in non-emergency medical transport from then on. Not worth the risk.
(It was my grandma who opened the door mid-car ride. She was dying of breast cancer. I was 9. Not something I've forgotten).
I'm thinking like many tasks in dementia-land, this will require progression through the stages: independant - supervision - assistance required - full assist.
The stage you may need now is Mom sits in back, child car door lock ON + someone else to ride beside her to distract, keep a firm eye on or reclick the seatbelt on. If ANY resistance - game over. Move to medical non-emergency transport.
Barb has a horrific tale of someone opening a door mid highway if I remember.. all transport was via non-emergency medical transport after that.
I used the child locks for my wannabee escape child years ago. I was attuned to the 'click' & would pull over at the next safe opportunity. Alternated between bribes, threats, drove into Police Station carpark once... Thankfully grew up. Elders won't!
I have LO's I refuse to drive anywhere, due to various factors, but one refusing to wear a seatbelt at times - dress rumple or dirt from the seatbelt or other nonsense.
I'm picturing driving that LO past the Police Station now.. seatbelt on quick smart! Round the next corner, seatbelt off 😖. Which is why my policy is *No seatbelt - no ride*.
It is a very serious safety issue for both the person with dementia and the driver of the vehicle.
If the OP has to travel with her mother, she has to properly restrain and secure her in the car.
https://www.amazon.com/Safety-Buckle-Pro-Seatbelt-Locking/dp/B076M98CCW/ref=asc_df_B076M98CCW/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312070219424&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=1479315728194254198&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=t&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9003829&hvtargid=pla-644683667935&psc=1&tag=&ref=&adgrpid=63821216564&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=312070219424&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=1479315728194254198&hvqmt=&hvdev=t&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9003829&hvtargid=pla-644683667935
You do need to make her stay buckled, because an unbuckled body becomes a projectile in an accident. I used to be in the automotive business, and the crash test videos of unbuckled people are horrific, not just for the person who isn't buckled, but for the people in the front seat they slam into.
It was tough enough to even get Mom to use a seatbelt. She would make up all different types of excuses.... her best one was it would wrinkle her dress.
One day my then hubby tried something after my parents got into the car. He left the car door on the driver's side ajar, while sitting in the driveway, so it would "ding" constantly until all the seatbelts were in place. That got Mom to finally use the belt.
We just gave up on trying to keep Mom from unclicking that belt when she was blocks away from home.
I have no idea how to lock the seat belt.
Can you wrap a towel or something around the seatbelt release button so it is not easily accessible?
In an emergency someone would need to get her out the same if she were a child.