I have brought this problem to the attention of the general manager and she assured me the problem would be addressed. The employee just today told me she said “get used to it this room is your home and your never going home”. This is 100 per cent opposite of what our PCP physician said to tell him. What are my legal rights as a caregiver to request that this employee does not interact with my LO? He has dementia. I want to add this facility is an upscale establishment and is private pay.
I don’t know her motive. He has in the past been a disruptive resident but has gone to psych hospital for medicine adjustment and I’ve been told that he’s no problem now. When she tells him this he gets agitated. I think she wants him to act inappropriately because she knows these statements upset him.
Nursing home residents bring their personalities, attitudes, prejudices and quirks with them to the facility. Putting up with some of these people on a daily basis is a job few people want. Just because a person has dementia doesn’t mean that their underlying personality has disappeared. I suggest that you make friends with the CNA and strategize with her about what works with your dad and what doesn’t. Bringing small gifts for the staff also focuses positive attention on your loved one and makes staff more open to giving you honest feedback about how they are adjusting.
Besides telling the Management, you should write a letter of your complaint and send it certified to both the Manager and the Employee.
I would also request a meeting with the Nurse or whoever is saying this.
You need to have a camer installed in his room. I use the Nest and you are able to watch day or might. Any time from your computer or cell phone.
That's what I set up for my Dad in his home where he has 24 hr Care.
He also has dementia and Short Term Memory and if someone does something bad to him, he wouldn't remember 5 minutes later.
When the employees know their being watched, they will certainly act better.
Prayers
Contact the floor administration and explain what is happening. If you get no satisfaction there or it is inadequate to stop the abuse, go to the head honcho and make your request known - be sure to use the words "psychological abuse" when you calmly talk to them.
No one should be abused physically or psychologically for any reason - it is against the law!
I know exactly what you are talking about.
My husband has a brother in Memory Care as well. We were receiving phone calls that my BIL was having behavior issues. I knew something was provoking him. Thus, when I contacted Administrator, she could not given me any answers. It was all my BIL's fault.
I contacted the Ombudsman. She quietly went to see what was going on. She told me "he was being disrespected" by staff.
You know what happened, next? A whole new staff was hired.
Sorry, it does happen but it should not.
I want to tell you I was diagnosed with Early Onset Alz about 4 1/2 yrs ago. My mother was Director of Nursing for a Catholic Rehab Center for almost 20 yrs. My mother gave us all an education in Patients Rights, and told us to never forget. We have a responsibility to report misconduct by Health Care Workers when patients complain of mistreatment or abuse, to the Director of Nursing First, if no response, Facility Director, if no response, go to the State's Department of Health.
Now, my mother also warned us that it can be true, that a patient has made things up, not to be vicious, simply that the brain isn't working correctly. A common false statement is, I have nobody that will visit me. Again, this is not always done to stir up trouble, that those of us who suffer from Dementia of any kind, may simply be forgetting their visits, because of Dementia.
Most facilities where I have visited people maintain Visitors Logs. These are designed so the Facility can keep track of who the visitors are, and to be able to tie them to a patient, or an organization whose volunteers come in to the facility to visit with patients or provide entertainment.
I know a Fraternal Organization I am a member of Pre-Covid19, would visit 5 local Nursing, or Skilled Nursing Homes and play Bingo with the residents that wanted to play, or Seasonally host Parties recognizing Holidays, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc. Hopefully when we get in the the Holiday Season, we'll be able to return to the Nursing Homes and have contact with the people that need the interaction with the outside world. I hope this is valuable information.
Management should explain to the staff that the doctor said to avoid discussions about "home." The doctor may have to write an order in your LO's chart to this effect.
I would recommend the 3 strike rule. 1st time is "educating" the staff and management of the treatment order. 2nd time is "reminding" the staff and management of the treatment order. 3rd time is "disciplining" the staff and management of the treatment order. If it comes to a 3rd time of reminding staff, then you may need to contact a lawyer who specializes in senior care or family care and sue for neglecting prescribed medical treatment. The staff member is guilty mental/emotional abuse as well as neglect of your LO. You may also wish to contact the licensing agent for your city/county/state and report the incidents.
You may want to consider moving your LO to another facility if management is not willing to address your issue.
I believe the general manage/ administrator as well as head nurse addressed this issue. That is not to say I Don’t constantly get “when am I going home” calls and these calls are Very stressful to me to a point that it was suggested I see a psychologist. I suppose the time is past where I could have a meaningful conversation and exchange because every call is hateful and accusatory... why am I here ; there’s nothing wrong with me . It’s so difficult to deal with the same person you love and who loved you and now to cringe when a call comes in. I have to learn to accept this is what it is now. I’m not there yet.
If the nurse is aware that what she says upsets your LO, she is either trying to get back at the resident (and you) for reporting her OR she is trying to get the resident to move to another facility (because she does not want to "deal with him anymore".
I sincerely hope you have a positive resolution to your situation as soon as possible.
Let me ask you~ is the dementia currently so far advanced that your Dad doesn't realize shortly afterward exactly what he was told.
It does sound to me, no matter what has or has not been said to her, that saying "Get used to it" is abusive, and I do feel that she may be trying to "get back at" a helpless patient who has posed a problem for her, due to no fault of his own (he isn't responsible.)
What did you say to her when she said to your that she said this? Did you ask her not to do this, that the result is agitation for your father that even SHE should find problematic, if for no compassionate reason, then because it makes more work for her.
I believe I would request a meeting with the director and the "Nurse" and yourself present. See if she denies what she said to you, be certain this was addressed in past and CERTAINLY is addressed now.
There was a thread where an Aide told the family to take the resident home - needed a lot more experience & dementia education.
This could be lack of education,.? but it sounds like this nurse is in the wrong business altogether. Like the nurse thinks brutal honesty is the best/only way.
I don't blame you for wanting this staff member to cease all contact. I don't know if you have the right, but I would request this of management anyway.