Follow
Share

My mom and stepdad have been married for 30 years and together for 40. Second marriage for both. I am an only child and he has four boys that took my mom and dad to court and got guardianship as soon as they found out he has money in stocks that are substantial. The boys are all wealthy in their own right but decided to take over the parents’ lives. It has caused horrible consequences to my mother and father. The stress has been horrible and to this day my mom takes care of her husband twenty four seven with my help. The guardians want to control every move and are building a narrative against my mother.

Find Care & Housing
The courts would not have granted guardianship if the need could be proven otherwise.

Are you sure it is guardianship and not something else, like PoA? To get guardianship for their father they'd have to present their case in court. Is this what happened? If your Mom was her husband's PoA then none of this would have happened -- if she was a competent PoA.

Whether they (or one of them) are his PoA or guardian, there is legally accountable for those roles. If you think they are abusing him, then you can report it to APS or hire an elder law attorney. From my own personal experience it was not easy to convince my Mom's annuity managers to allow me to take control of it -- I had to sign an afidavit and provide doctor's letter of impairment, among other things.

I think in the absence of information and understanding you are making assumptions about what is actually happening out of fear. This kind of division isn't uncommon in blended families where there are adult children... they tend to "reclaim" their parent.

You can take your Mom to an elder law attorney, or to her bank and start thinking about whether you need to help her protect herself financially. When her husband passes, all his assets will flow down to her, even if there is no Will.

If your Mom doesn't have a PoA (or guardian) then you should try to get this put into place so that you can help manage her medical and financial affairs.
Helpful Answer (9)
Reply to Geaton777
Report

If the sons have guardianship, it would be because your mother was found by a court to be incompetent to take care of your stepfather, so why are you and she still doing the 24/7 care? If that is the case then you need to report to the judge that the guardian(s) are not fulfilling their responsibility to provide care for their father other than your deemed-incompetent mother. Did all four of them jointly get guardianship, or just one of them? I know of a court-appointed guardian who was shown to be neglecting his responsibilities and not only lost the guardianship but had serious professional penalties. Why are still "building a narrative" against your mother when they have already been granted authority to remove your stepfather from your mother's care? You need to tell the court that they are violating their guardianship by forcing your mother to continue to provide the care when that is now their responsibility. So, take your own narrative back to the judge. Did you testify at the court hearing?
Helpful Answer (9)
Reply to MG8522
Report

Yes, did they go to court? Did a judge sign off that Mom and Dad are incompetent to make informed dedisions? Neither POA or Guardianship give the assigned person the right to any of the principles money unless for their care. How did steps get guardianship over your mother when she has a child? Both parents have to be in court and you could have been too.
Helpful Answer (8)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report

Get a lawyer immediately. You have an interest in that estate and need an attorney to protect your and your mother’s interest. Depending upon the state they live in, it should have been extremely difficult for them to get guardianship without your mother’s consent.
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to OldCaregiver121
Report

If she is legally your blood mother, you can file for guardianship and conservatorship. You have to show the court two letters stating that mom is incompetent to make her own medical decisions and handle her finances, if you file for both. Conservatorship is mainly for financial. Did the brothers help take care of their dad? I am assuming they are his children. If you don't have money to file, you can ask the court/probate, for a waiver. That's what I had to do because I am low income. Best of luck.
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to Kimlogan100
Report

If they have guardianship through probate, then you filing an expensive legal action will cost a lot of money and more than 1 lawyer to pay. You have to gather evidence as to why you should take over. A judge will probably be inclined to throw the case out.
As for your thoughts about them taking over, guardianship does take over their lives to keep them safe from predators and their own personal safety. They might even remove them to skilled facilities which means selling the home and placing their assets in an account set up for them. You see it as "horrible". Guardianship IS a lot of work.
Many people write about taking care of a parent only to have someone take over their lives. Make nice to the guardians. Ask if they can pay you for caring for them, however not as a slave 24/7. You need a personal life as well, away from your parents so that you can thrive.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to MACinCT
Report

I am battling something similar right now. My stepdaughter is petitioning the court for guardianship and conservatorship of my husband. I cannot believe all the lies she has told! My husband and I have been together 41 years and married fir 15 years. His daughter is just a greedy, jealous liar; all she needed to do was say she wasn't happy with the long-term care home I was going to move him into.

My heart goes out to you! Believe in Karma - what goes around comes around. There must be a special place in Hell for people like we are dealing with! Stay strong and get a Good Family Law Attorney.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to OldDragon
Report

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter