The parent would stay at for 3-4 months at a time with each adult child. This means the parent would have to move from one residence to another every 3-4 months. Each adult child understands dementia care and would provide everything the parent needs. Just curious if anyone has done this before and if so, did it work out ok for the parent?
Medicare and Medicaid and Medicare Supplements qualification requirements (such as residency requirements) differ from state to state nor does each state offer the same services or the same level of services.
Before you begin this "Share of Care" process, you need to make sure that:
-your parent's Financial and Medical/Health POA and Advances Directives and Medicare/Medicaid residency meet each state's requirements,
-you determine who will manage parent's day-to-day expenses and bank account(s)/mutual funds/finances and how the adult child that your parent is currenlty living with will be reimbursed for parent's expenses without the money being considered "gifted" to them by Medicare/Medicaid,
-the parent has a Primary Care Physician in each city or state,
-that the parent's health insurance will cover health expenses in each state and that ALL physicians and hospitals, etc. are WITHIN insurance company's network,
-the parent has a pharmacy in each city or state,
-make sure that the parent's prescriptions (especially narcotics or pain killers) can be written by a physician in another city or state if they do not have a Primary Care Physician where they are currently,
-you have contingency plans in place for each adult child's residence in case the parent become ill while at that adult child's home,
-you have contingency plans in case one of the adult children (or their children or in-laws) become sick or injured or that adult child cannot take care of your parent (for any reason),
-you have plans for when the parent's dementia becomes too much for one (or more) of the adult children to handle,
-talk with your parent and agree as to how much clothing and personal belongings your parent will be allowed to move each time,
-you determine with your parent where the remainder of their belongings will be stored (or will belongings be sold so that parent only has the items allowed to be moved).
-have approval from the parent themselves for this arrangement.
Please be aware that people with dementia often need stability and consistency in their lives and that they do not do well with constant change of their schedule or environment. Some people become more confused each time they move to a new environment and the more they move, the longer it takes for the person to adjust to their new surroundings and routine.
Your parent is very lucky that their adult children are so willing to work together to take care of them. Good Luck.
All siblings are on board? I would be too. But ask your parent. You might consider such things also, given this is out of state --medical care? I have Kaiser supplemental and should stay in areas covered by it. POA? How would that work. I think you are thinking outside the box and I love that!
I do not know how health insurance works in the USA, but would your Mum's health care insurance work across state borders?
Dementia always gets worse, unless the person dies of something else while it is mild. What is the long term plan for Mum?
They tried 3 month visits but increased the time spent depending on each sibling’s ability to take care of parent. Usually their Mom stayed 6-12 months with a sibling and there was no set schedule as to when or who would take care of Mom next.
Some siblings could not take care of Mom until later on—after their own children left home or after they retired (so Mom would have been in late 80’s or early 90’s). One of the siblings was a farmer so their Mom did “take a break” and live on the farm for 3 years until that sibling could no longer take care of her.
Some siblings (friend’s aunts & uncles) had a bedroom set up for their Mom and other siblings did not. My friend said that her Grandmother would sleep in her bed and she would sleep on the floor while Grandma was staying with her parents. She enjoyed having her Grandmother visit for such a long period of time.
So some families have “Shared the Care” of their parent and it did work most of the time. Just thought you might like to know.
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