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This has long been my plan at the appropriate time. Mom is advanced stage 7 and has a possible UTI. It's impossible to know as a getting a urine sample is next to impossible. She's really declined a lot in the past few months so this is a very different decision than a year ago when we did opt to treat. I have no qualms about this decision but it is weighty. she's peeing and pooping in a diaper , beginning to have difficulty getting out of bed and sitting straight and i'm seeing more evidence of dysphagia things I do not want to see her suffer from

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I don’t know if they make this in adult sizes, but when I used to work in pediatrics, there was a bag that you could adhere to a female and leave it inside of a diaper and we could collect urine that way. I don’t know if they still do that. This was years ago.
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Reply to Oedgar23
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I have to say UTIs can become painful if the travel to the kidneys. One of my MILs signs was, what she thought was her back hurting, a UTI.

Can you get Mom on a toilet? If so, there is something called a hat. Its placed in the opening of the toilet seat and they pee in it. Then you can pour the urine into a pee jar.

Have you talked to her doctor and ask how you can get a sample. Maybe you can use a test strip somehow. He should have the jars.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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I think the UTI should be treated. I don’t think having a sepsis is a great way to die.

my father had infected bedsores and hospice treated them.
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Reply to Hothouseflower
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Firsttimer1, what did you end up doing? I am also wondering what I would do as I know mom wouldn’t want to live this way. I am her POA and her UTIs are not painful at all! They make her sleepy and that’s it. We all know what the alternative is. Not knowing if they will choke to death, die from a fall or painful scary heart attack. I know where you’re coming from firsttimer1 and some of these answers are relating to PAIN of uti not quality of what’s left of the life.
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Reply to Goingcrazy79
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Sometimes there is no pain with a chronic UTI, fyi, which can make them so hard to diagnose in the elderly. And also, you may not be able to get the antibiotics without a urine sample which sounds pretty impossible. Please have a hospice evaluation. They will prioritize her comfort appropriately whether it is a trial of prophylactic antibiotics or pain meds or both. I’m not sure I would want antibiotics for my mother if she was being kept comfortable and in no pain under hospice care.
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Hothouseflower Jul 25, 2026
I get st least two UTIs a year. Hundreds of dollars a year on doctor visits and urinalysis and bacteria testing.

I bought antibiotics in Mexico when i was on vacation. . A jar of 100 Cipro pills 500 mg for $58. The first time I took them a few months ago I was nervous about it but I took them because I was desperate for relief.

It was totally fine. I did the same dosage that the doctor did and it saved me hundreds of dollars. The pills have a shelf life of two years so I’m good to go for awhile.
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Even on Hospice they will treat an infection with antibiotics.
It might be possible to get a test done with a "dipstick" if it can get wet enough from the urine in a incontinence product. May not be as good as a true urine test but good enough. And IMO treating with antibiotics even if you are not sure there is a UTI is better than not treating at all.
Sepsis is not pleasant.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Brandee again--Mom's PCP would not order antibiotics without the urine sample. We had a shower chair and we would insert the plastic collection "hat"
in the shower chair and have Mom sit on that until we got a sample.

One of the best things about hospice is they would prescribe antibiotics without a sample.

Also--discontinuing C-Memantine, a memory drug, stopped the UTI's from occuring. Mom was getting the UTI's as a side effect.
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Reply to brandee
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Request her PCP to order a speech therapist to stop by the house to look at the dysphagia. The speech therapist will make recommendations to help with swallowing.
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Reply to brandee
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Hospice prescribed antibiotics for Mom for UTI's during the 18 month period she was on hospice.
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Reply to brandee
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The fear and paranoia associated with a UTI is enough to make giving antibiotics in case of a UTI a must. As others have said it is a terrible ordeal. My mom just had two rounds of antibiotics for UTIs. She was getting scared that one of the workers was going to kill her. It's important to treat UTIs in the elderly.
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Reply to JustAnon
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This is merely my opinion, so take it for what it's worth. My mom is almost 98 years old. She resides in an assisted living facility, and she no longer uses the toilet because the staff was finding it too difficult to do the transfers to and from the toilet. So now she's supposed to pee and poop in a diaper. I'm not opposed to this, except for the fact that I think that the increased exposure to bodily wastes might cause her to get UTIs more. Mom already is prone to delirium and if she gets a UTI, she'll probably get more delirious. The delirium is horrible; if an antibiotic would treat the UTI and thereby lower the possibility of delirium, I wouldn't hesitate to ask for and agree to an antibiotic.
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Reply to Rosered6
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Did you discuss the end of life wishes with your mother? Would she want to withhold antibiotics. A MOLST would have been best when your mother was able to voice her wishes about more specific medical treatments.

I am POA for my uncle and father (and to my mother but she has passed). I made certain that a MOLST is on file and all of their wishes are in writings with a physcian signature. The MOLST does include the decision of antibiotics as a treatment and in all cases they have chosen to accept treating with antibiotics.

An UTI is very painful infection. To treat the UTI doesn't mean that their life will be prolonged indefinately. But it will help their end of life care without the painful affects of the infection.

Is your mother on Hospice? If not please have her accessed and allow her the comfort and care they provide. You will also benefit from the grief services they offer.
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Reply to AMZebbC
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Many of these answers are not helpful. Everything done is being corrdinated with a geriatric doctor
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QuiltedBear Jun 9, 2026
Then, please call her Geriatric Doctor now and request they call in a prescription for her.
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Why would you allow your mom to suffer at her end of life by withholding antibiotics? That sounds a bit cruel and inhumane to me, as no one should have to suffer needlessly when they're dying.
That's where hospice comes in and I do hope and pray that you've brought them on board by now, as even they will treat a UTI and make your mom as comfortable and pain free as possible so she can die in peace.
You can call the hospice agency of your choice and have them come out today to do as assessment on your mom. If she qualifies they will contact her doctor and get her all set up. Hospice is available 24/7 so don't delay in bringing them on board today, as they won't allow your mom to suffer.
Your mom deserves that much don't you think?
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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Is she on hospice care? If not, call her doctor and get guidance.
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Reply to Geaton777
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utis are a painful way to go even if you can go that way. Don’t do this. Even hospices won’t. Give her the antibiotics and call them.
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