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I have been sole caregiver to my 91 year old mother for the last 20 years. She has taken several falls over the years. Although no serious physical injuries, her dementia took a sharp decline once she fell a month ago. She has since been in a nursing home for rehab but it appears that is the best long-term care for her since I am no longer able to care for her progressing needs. I am devastated that I was not able to keep her home until her death. It is a lifestyle shock to us both. But an even bigger stress is being able to deal with her extreme mood swings and anxiety adapting to her new living situation. I dread the visits (which I do daily) because I know she is going to be in a confused state and very hostile once I arrive. Does anyone have advice on how to deal with her and not let it upset me so much?

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Here's my advice: stop visiting so much. What good does it do either of you to have mom carrying on and you feeling so upset? You've already devoted 2 decades to this woman which I'm sure she's now poo poo'ed away since you 'abandoned her' to managed care. You matter too, not just mom. Even though she has dementia and says hurtful things as a result, doesn't mean those words don't cut. Why subject yourself to the onslaught every day?

My mother lived in Memory Care Assisted Living with dementia. The foul and hurtful things she said to me were awful. We're "supposed" to ignore the words and chalk them off to dementia, but what about the stress, the stomach aches? The anxiety? The dread? The thinking about the situation all the time? It's unhealthy for US and something we do not deserve. Since I know of no way to hear hurtful words and not absorb them, the only way to stay safe is to limit your contact with the toxic words.

Wishing you the best of luck and the courage to put yourself first now.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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I agree with both replies below and would add As she is 91 and you have been taking care of her for 20 years, that is since she was 71.

I’m guessing you are somewhere between 60-71 years old yourself and have been caring for her since you were somewhere between 40-50 years old. You have cared for her longer than it took her to raise you from birth to 18! That’s staggering.

Think about what you want for yourself in the time you have left. There must be things you hoped to do that were not possible due to caring for her for 20 years. If she were in her right mind, and truly loves you, she would tell you it’s time for you now. The mom you loved could not possibly want you to subject yourself to emotional trauma.

I know it’s hard. You have done the right thing by placing her and should not be devastated that you could not keep her at home until death. Think about freedom to do what you want, when you want, if that is only to read a book. You deserve it! Now it’s time to treat yourself at least as well as you treated her!
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Reply to Suzy23
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Keep your visits down to once or twice a week and allow your mother to adjust to her new surroundings and people that are now assisting her.
You can call the front desk to check on her in the in-between visits if you feel so inclined, but now it's time to start thinking about yourself and start enjoying this one life you've been given, and rest in the knowledge that your mother is being taken care of and is where she now needs to be.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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In addition to Lea's excellent advice, ask for the Geriatric Psychiatrist or Behavioral Team that serves the facility to visit your mom. A low dose of antidepressants and/or anti-anxiety meds might be very helpful for mom's agitation.
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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If you go every day, M is spending a lot of time waiting for you, planning what to say, thinking over the visit afterwards, then planning her come-backs for the next one. It’s dominating her mind. You will be doing both of you a favor if you stretch out the time between visits so that she adjusts to just “being there”.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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It's okay to not go every day. There's no need to go, just to get emotionally beaten up by her disease. By the time I wrap up my work day during the week my mom's MC has already started dinner service, and my mom is pretty foggy after dinner--I go on weekends, earlier in the day, when she can interact more.

Your mom will need time to adjust, and she may struggle as the dementia will limit her ability to adapt. However, you didn't do this--she's there because the dementia and advanced age made it unreasonable to try to take care of her outside of a specialized care facility.

It would be beneficial to discuss your concerns with her care provider. It's a big change, & the disease is always progressing. Meds can help her adjust. Sometimes those may need adjusted a few times to find what works best.
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Reply to ElizabethY
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She needs the help of medication now.
Are you looking at a hospice situation here? Have you spoken to doctor about that?
She may need medication to adapt but first you do want to talk to her caregivers alone and without her. It could be that her reaction is to seeing YOU and believing that you are there to rescue her. She sees you as her Saviour come to take her home and when you cannot/will not she is agitated and unhappy. This may mean that you consider fewer and shorter visits, not longer and more.

Sorry. You wanted to and you couldn't and you RECOGNIZED you couldn't any longer. That's important. You didn't cause and can't fix this. Speak to the personnel and her doctor about getting her some relief for this last time she must remain.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Did the nursing home tell you to not visit for a while so she can adjust ?
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Reply to Bulldog54321
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I would back off for a while and let her adjust. The staff will work on that with her. Sounds like you need a break to regroup. Going to an NH is a large step and is hard on her and you. I am sure both of you are grieving the change and need time to process it. Take some time for yourself, find a grief group if that feels right, start working on filling your time with other things that you like to do. Kudos to you for keeping your mom at home as long as you did! Caregiving someone with dementia is a very difficult job. It's understandable that it became impossible. Many find that. ((((((hugs)))))
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Reply to golden23
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I agree. Visit once a week for a while until she is used to her new routine.
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Reply to lkdrymom
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