I have a friend that is 34 years old that had a brain injury. Her Dr. has said and wrote a letter saying she no longer needed assisted living but they say that she has to go to a secondary care facility to give her the skills to be on her own again, she is totally able to live on her own and i need to find an attorney or some one that can help me get her into my care and out of the home , PLEASE CAN SOMEONE HELP ME!
These are my thoughts, suggestions and questions.
1. Was the brain injury recent, or has your friend been living independently with it for years? That would make a big difference in how she'll adjust to living in a home environment again.
2. If it was an old injury, then she's apparently had time to adjust to it and compensate. If a new injury, there may be a period of time during which she'll need to find ways to acclimate. Was she working before? Will she eventually be able to return to work? Are you prepared to support her financially?
3. Without prying what specific limitations has the brain injury caused? Has the doctor who wrote the letter indicating she doesn't need AL any longer given a prognosis or made any other recommendation besides discharge?
4. Notwithstanding that you're a good friend and feel she can live on her own, it would be hard to imagine yourself stepping into her shoes and know what she specifically deals with on a daily basis, how much help she may need, and how safe she would be if living alone.
5. Without knowing the extent of the injuries, no one here can really tell whether your friend would in fact be able to live alone. And if she's not, there's a possibility she could be injured, have an accident, develop a medical condition that she might not realize is urgent....and suffer a setback.
6. I think it also boils down to what her doctor states vs. what the facility is recommending, with the latter most likely being concerned about their liability.
7. Before getting an attorney involved, I would ask to meet with the staff to find out exactly what kind of "secondary facility" they recommend, for what treatment - i.e., what are the specific goals, and given their knowledge of her situation, an estimated time for fuller recovery.
8. It might be asked what training do you have to care for her? What is your medical background? What accommodations have you made for her? Are you prepared to care for someone 24/7 if need be? Do you work from home or would you have to quit work? These are all questions that should be asked, now.
9. Have you discussed this conflict of recommended treatment with her doctor?
10. Can she have outpatient rehab for the brain injury? There's a top notch facility in SE Michigan, the Rehab Institute of Michigan, with one facility that specifically deals with brain injuries. People are treated on an outpatient basis. If there's anything like that in your area, it might be possible for her to live with you and get outpatient treatment.
11. Does the facility she's in now have specific recommendations for a "secondary facility", and if so, have you done research on the ownership to determine if they're linked by common parent companies or other corporate affiliation?
12. What does your friend want to do? After all, it is her life.
Determine if your friend is admitted voluntarily, by self, or by someone else.
Determine who put her in the facility, and who is in charge of her care, finances, or has POA (power of attorney).
Does she have family? It is rare that a person be put into the care of a friend instead of family, or a husband. Contact the family to get help.
You can share more if that would be helpful to you.
If you have this doctor as an advocate, have possession of the letter, go to a patient's rights advocate. The goal might be stated to get her as independent as possible on her own so that she has choices of where to live (supported housing);
work (work under supported employment programs/local college), and whom to see.
You are right to be her friend, advocate on her behalf, and good for you to care so much for your friend! It is good you asked the question.
If you can support her, and can get permission (from whom?) What is there to stop you? I am not recommending this because I don't know your situation well enough, but you asked and I am just throwing ideas out there.
Ideally, you would want to marry someone who could get themselves out of a facility on their own merit. Keep asking more questions right here on this post. Maybe somene can help if they can get an idea of the whole picture.. Good luck making plans, and congratulations!