My mother lives with us and is sipping at her wine all day. By evening she is looped and I'm afraid she is going to fall down the stairs of our multi-level home. We've talked about trying to keep it to two glasses a day, but she goes right back to her usual amount which can be upwards of a bottle a day. She also becomes "buggy" and less able to maintain boundaries. What can I do?
It is your house, your rules.
As for her drinking, I thought I read she is living with you? If so, don't allow it in your house if you don't won't her to drink. That is your rule n boundary or else. I hate to sound harsh about the drinking but what else do u have or should I say does she have as a choice? It would be nice to know a little more about your situation about your mom so others can help offer some advice for your situation. Please let us know a little more so we can try n help.
Word of warning: Don't make threats you are not willing to follow through on. Such as, "If you don't quit drinking I'm going to make you move." If you make a threat & don't follow thru, she may not believe you next time you tell her something. She'll probably call your bluff. In Alanon they tell you that the drinker will probably not stop until they reach a crisis point. You cannot force that. I thought I could force my husband into his rock bottom place. His enabler came in and rescued him. Seems his point was much lower than I dreamed it was.
Another point, Alanon is not for the drinker. It is for those who have to interact with the drinker. It is kind of like this site, a place to get information, support and vent. It is a safe place. Don't let anyone threaten or shame you into not going.
I think I'd sit down with her and explain how her drinking is affecting you (the worry about her physical safety, your sadness or embarassment over her behavior when she's drunk, etc) stick to talking about YOU, she'll just deny or argue any advice or analysis you try to give about her. But, she can't tell you how you feel. Be honest with her about your feelings, tell her exactly how much drinking you're willing to tolerate in your home and what the plan will be if she decides she doesn't want to live there under those conditions. Put the ball in her court, but you stay firm with your decisions. Good luck!
Unfortunately I do not have any advice other than to try to make your Mother understand that if she falls and breaks something she will most likely have to go to a nursing home. It is a proven fact that the mind will get much worse - maybe your doctor can talk to her.
Good luck to you - I know how stressful this can be on a family. You and your family should try to go to some Alanon meetings - perhaps they can guide you through an intervention with professionals taking the lead.