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My dad just went into a skilled nursing home after a serious fall at home and subsequent rehab. He'll be 90 next week, has CHF, Parkinson's, Type 2 diabetes, previous stroke, and is now experiencing episodes of passing out - he used to live alone but can no longer, he just needs more care. I am an only child and have been caring for him for 7+ years with the help of part-time caregivers at his home. So this nursing home situation is brand new over just the past 2 weeks or so. It's a great home and we are very happy with care there.


While he was still living at home, we had just hired a new caregiver a week before my dad fell. Our previous one, who we loved, had to move out of state with her family. The new caregiver was wonderful and she still texts me and checks on my dad, and she was the one that found him after he fell. I asked her about me hiring her to visit my dad in the nursing home daily while we go on vacation for a week in July and she is interested in helping. She would just be my eyes and ears at the nursing home, keep him company an hour or so a day and do his laundry once while we are gone. I am not sure what a fair pay rate is to pay her for this? Anyone ever done anything like this? Should I offer her hourly rate or more?


I am an only child and there is no one else to help, and this past month has been really rough. I have a teenage daughter and husband and we desparately want to take our annual beach trip. I would feel better knowing my dad has someone checking on him while we are gone.

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I think it's a marvelous idea. I imagine you've checked with the nursing home and they're good with it. I would like my father in assisted living. He and my two sisters don't want him to go but if he did I would hire his current part-time caregiver to see him at least once a week. I would hire her through the agency though because I think that's a rule. If I could hire her independently, I would pay her the hourly rate we now pay the agency. I hope you have a great and well-earned vacation.
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I would ask her for an hourly rate and let her know you will pay for gas or transit feels. Wishing you good luck.
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I think this is a great idea. It sounds as though the caregiver was hired privately and not through an agency, however, since you are asking for suggestions about the hourly rate. It's possible the NH will only allow agency caregivers to be in their facility, so you'd best check that out. We have agency caregivers at home, and I know they are often hired by families (through the agency) to be with folks in nursing homes or assisted living facilities.
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Cdriver Jun 2022
See me response above. She won't be doing any caregiving. Just visiting my dad. I just want to pay her for her time to see him and do his laundry so he has some company while we are gone and she can report back to me if he Is ok or not since she knows him well.
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This is great. And if dad knows her even better it will be someone he knows.
I would pay her the same rate she would have been getting if she was working for you at the house,
Technically you probably could pay less but if she is good she may be turning down full day jobs to be with your dad for a few hours and do laundry. And it would still be less than if she were working 5, 6 or 7 hours a day for you/him
I would though have her document the hours so that there is "proof" that she worked those hours, Although most facilities have sign in and out sheets so the hours could be tracked but if there is ever need to document the cost of his care this might be important later on.
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Cdriver Jun 2022
Thank you! Great points.
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I would pay her enough to cover the expense of showing up if you are only having her for an hour a day. Fuel is to expensive to only get 1 hour pay. Personally, I would pay for 3 hours daily and require that 2.5 of those are with dad.

I wouldn't tell the facility she is a paid caregiver, I would tell them she is a family friend. I don't think it's any of their business.
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Cdriver Jun 2022
Thank you. Yes, to the facility, she'll just be a visitor. She has already visited him once just because she cares about him and wanted to say hello. But good point about gas $. I want to make it worth her time to give me peace of mind while we are gone.
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First, because of nursing home insurance, they may not allow it.

How important is this to you? I sure wouldn't nickel and dime it or hourly it. I would offer her $50-$75 a day.
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Cdriver Jun 2022
I should clarify for everyone. I am not hiring her to do any sort of caregving at the nursing home for my dad. I am simply wanting her to visit my dad so he has a familiar face while we're gone and to do his laundry once, like I normally do. So to the nurisng home she would essentially be a visitor. My dad loved her and vice versa. It would just give me peace of mind to know someone was checking on him while I'm away and he would have some company. So I am only offering to pay her because I am the one asking her to do this and do his laundry. She was a former private caregiver, so she is familiar with my dad and would know if anything was wrong to report back to me. It's really so he has a regular visitor while we are gone and for my peace of mind. We don't have other family nearby to visit him - I am an only child, mom is gone and my dad has literally outlived everyone in his family and most friends. I hope that makes sense. I mainly want to pay her for her time and gas $ and so I can depend on her to show up. Plus I know she could use the extra cash since she lost her job with us.
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How long will it take to do his laundry? Two hours? How long is the trip to and from the nursing home? One hour? IRS will allow 72 ¢ a mile come July 1 for business related travel. Sounds like a minimum of two hours each visit plus gas.

Do you really want to nickel and dime this? How.important is it?
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Isthisrealyreal Jun 2022
I think that is 62.5 cents after July 1st.

58.5 first six months 2022
62.5 last six months 2022
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ITRR you are right. Got the notice at work that it is going to be 72.5 on July 1. Bet it was a typo. Better let them know.

https://www.irs.gov/newsroom/irs-increases-mileage-rate-for-remainder-of-2022
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This is done all the time. Just tell her what you need done at the NH and then tell the NH that you have a neighbor who will be visiting daily while you are away. That’s all you need to tell the NH.
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Cdriver Jun 2022
Good idea. Thanks!
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Why not ask her what she feels is fair? She is a professional correct? She does this for a living and either works for an agency or privately? It sounds like she is attached to your dad and your family even though she didn’t work for you for long, she checks on him and has already visited on her own time, she knows what will make it worth her wile and it sounds like you trust her enough not to take advantage. She would have to ask for a ridiculous amount for it not to be worth the peace of mind and ability to just enjoy your vacation!
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Do it, but if she's a personal home care giver, make sure she carries insurance. Your dad could call on her and she could sue you for everything you have. As much as I hate giving an agency money, I hate the thought someone could hurt themselves, be permanently out of a job, and not have any recourse except to come after my parent they are taking care of.

After that the going rate these days for 'sitters' runs from $16 to $27 an hour and that's what I'd call her and tell the nursing home you're having a 'sitter'. The nursing home should be doing his laundry (usually). As far as mileage, I'd just build that into the rate you pay them.

Most facilities allow sitters and sometimes welcome them so they aren't overburdened. I wouldn't call it the person a visitor. The home needs to be basically told this person is caring for your father in some capacity, whether it be just being a companion or watching out for his care. I'd always be upfront with any facility. If they find out you hired her regardless of what the intent, they may not take it the right way (or some in the facility may not). When you tell them they are a sitter, they realize they are there to be part of the care team.
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Cdriver Jun 2022
I like the sitter angle. See my comment above re: laundry.
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It's a good idea to have someone check in on your father. You could ask his case manager at the nursing home what the local rate is for a caregiver who spends a couple of hours a day with your father. Or base it on the rate you were paying her plus something for her extra travel time (and higher gas prices). Ask her to send you photos of him and arrange a snapchat, if he is capable and if it is right for you. You should let the nursing home know a caregiver will be coming. They may have a form for you to sign to give permission. You can also ask them to notify you if there are any changes or incidents, such as a fall (they should be doing this anyway). At some point you may want to talk to his doctor about his prognosis and what would signal that it's time for him to be on hospice-type care (pallative care as opposed to trying to fix things). Take the vacation and try to relax and enjoy yourself! And all the best to you, your father and your family.
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Cdriver Jun 2022
The NH does notify me of any issues, they are great about this. The dr there is very communicative with me as well. I just want my dad to have a visitor while we're gone, and as I said, we don't have other family anymore nearby or still living. I have been thinking of talking to his dr about when it's time to do a pallative/hospice evaluation - his Parkinson's had progressed drastically since his fall, and had already progressed a lot before that, in addition to CHF. He sleeps a lot. I have already spoken with the caregiver and worked out a fair rate, and I feel good about it. I am not opposed to paying more for this just for my peace of mind and for him to have company. I desparetely need this vacation as does my teenage daughter and husband. We are in the process of cleaning out my dad's 46-year-old home to sell and it is killing us, it is a lot of stuff and a ton of work, plus the stress of my dad's fall, surgery, hospital stay and now move to a nursing home, it's just been a very difficult month, and this trip is our annual trip with friends that we look forward to every year. I just pray we can go with no problems while we are gone.
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How nice of you to have someone look in on your father while you are away. Even better that you already have someone you like who can do this. I would think you would pay her what you pay her for the same service at home. Agencies generally charge at least $25-30 an hour.

Even if she does not hold you to a minimum number of hours, keep in mind her commuting time and that by visiting your father she cannot take another job for your father's part of that day. Make it worth her while. It's part of your "vacation budget."

Enjoy the beach.
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The pay depends on the skills, education and qualifications of the individual you send in.

I would ask the person you are considering hiring for this task what they would charge. Don’t negotiate -this is an important job and you will have peace of mind.
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When my mother was in memory care, I would go every day and spend about an hour and half. Just seeing that she was up and checking her supplies and being that “extra set of eyes and ears” that keep things moving in greased grooves. As for
the laundry, you might consider switching to in-house services. Going forward if incontinence issues develop, having everything marked and a routine setup will let you focus on daily issues.
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Cdriver Jun 2022
The in-house laundry there is a mess - We've done it in the past when he and my mom were both there for rehab and they lost so much of their clothing, even though it was labeled. Plus it costs more and we are having to pay privately and in the midst of cleaning out and selling his home to pay, so we are trying to cut costs where we can. I don't mind doing it. Unfortunately, he already has really bad incontience and has for a while.
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Like you said .. she would be your eyes and ears … don’t try low ball her … and probably an hour a day visit not nearly enough …
it has to be worth her while too !!!
nobody’s interested in an hour a day !!!
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BurntCaregiver Jun 2022
Helenn,

I like those one-hour assignments because they pay well. Lots of caregivers are interested in those because nobody wants to sit in a nursing home for hours at a time.
Those hour-hour and a half or so assignments are a nice little bit of money and you don't have to do the long haul hours.
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Hi, in our area, caregivers receive about $20-$25 an hour for private pay. Agencies are charging up to $30 an hour and paying their caregivers about $15 an hour. You could also visit with your State's Long-Term Care Ombudsman to see if they have any thoughts or resources on this. Enjoy your vacation!
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I have experience with this because I do it. If you're looking for a caregiver to go to the nursing home an hour a day to check things out, I'm going to tell you what I get to do this kind of assignment.
I charge $35 if it's for one hour only and I have two jobs now that are only one hour each. If you want her there for two hours with him than pay her $50.
You should pay around $50 for her to do his laundry too. Now remember, she has to pick up the laundry, wash, dry, fold, deliver, and put it away. So $50 is fair.
Depending on what state you're in the dollar amounts can be tweaked a bit.
If she worked for you through an agency, offering her what she was getting paid for one hour is a joke. Not even worth her gas to drive to the nursing home. Offer her twice that or better is fair.
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Cdriver Jun 2022
I am reading this after I offered her a set rate and luckily, it's about what you describe! So good to know I was on the right track. It is def more than the agency offered her. Thanks!
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Your caregiver may have a minimum of hours she will want to do and an expected pay. One of my mom's sitters insists on a four hour shift. Meet with the caregiver and decide together what is fair and yes gas has gone way up. Prepare a checklist of expected duties and maybe include a short trip outside to get some fresh air & sun. It will be well worth it to give you a break.
Who knows this may end up being a back up and support for you a few times during the week when you come back.
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Cdriver Jun 2022
For sure want her to get him outside. He won't go on his own but there is a lovely outdoor area where he can sit and visit with her, I did it with him yesterday even though he didn't want to, I think it did him some good. And yes, I def want to consider this as a backup plan for when we are out of town or other times just to get a break. With no other family, this is all I have but I really love this caregiver, she is really good with him and cares for him too.
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I have done this, hired them as a companion and pay the going rate for home care/ companion
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Care facilities cannot prevent private care or visitation. This was a problem during the COVID lockdowns but they cannot interfere now. Check locally to see what the going rate is. We pay $30/hour for private care in Maryland, and that is the top of the range. CNAs start at $16/hour (what the agencies pay them). You and Dad will both feel better with this support. You might even want to continue 1-2 half days/week if her schedule permits and he can afford it. It gives Dad company and stimulation, and you get security and days off.
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Cdriver Jun 2022
Good idea about continuing it. Once we sell his home, I may consider that, and def when we go out of town. I def need to start setting some boundaries with myself for visits - been going daily and it is wearing on me. I am doing that now, since this is a new situation for him, and hoping that once we go away for the week of the 4th and our caregiver visits and I don't, he'll get more acclimated and I can reduce my visits some. I am so busy and tired cleaning out his home of 46 years that that plus doing the visits and overseeing care is wearing on me.
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Hello😊 great idea!
I was a caregiver to a sweet little lady who had fallen and broke her hip and had a gash in her head while no one was there. Unfortunately we had been telling the family she needed someone there overnight as well. So she wasn’t found until the next day upon our arrival. Her family had her team of caregivers sit with her at the rehab we were paid the same hourly rate( we previously worked 10 hour shifts) I was the weekend staff. So yes, it’s been done before.
If it’s just for an hour or so it should be at least $30-50 of course you can be creative like throw in gift cards gas cards, spa day etc…and lower the hourly pay( we all know time is money & money is time) put a few creative packages together and see how that goes😊.
Wishing you the most favorable outcome💕
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Cdriver Jun 2022
Thanks. I think I worked out a good arrangement and spoke to her today and agreed on a lump sum payment. I feel it is very generous and did take into consideration gas prices and her time. It does make me already feel much better about going away - we desparately need this vacation, especially my teenage daughter, so it will def give me peace of mind to know someone he knows is seeing him daily. I had heard of others doing this so good to know it's not that uncommon. Thank you.
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Calling Visiting Angels and see what they charge and then check the want ads to see what salary others are offered. She's a great choice because he knows her. You might need to put her on his visiting list if the nursing home requires it. Sounds like a win-win arrangement.
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Yes, Yes, Yes....do it if you can afford it.

After my Mom got considerably weaker when I wasn't there to exercise her because I was gone for a month, we decided to hire PT (physical therapy) to help her keep up her strength. The guy came twice a week.

It worked!

My Mom liked it as she actually had visitors while I was gone. I liked it because at least I knew she was getting some exercise. When I got back, my Mom was a little weaker, however, not like she was when I went away the last time.

As for a fair pay rate, I would suggest that you offer travel reimbursement from their house to/from where he is, plus whatever the going rate is for the level of caregiving that you are expecting, based on what an agency would cost you.

Good luck and try to enjoy your "vacation".
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A different approach might be to get a Grand Pad phone. You could do a video chat as long as he is able to answer the phone.
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Pay her for an hour a day - her usual going rate. Negotiate regarding the laundry.
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We did the same while mine was in for Rehab got a great woman to sit and watch paid her directly 125 for 5 hours a day
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