My mom is 91 years old. Up until 3 months ago she was doing great, able to live on her own. Had a fall and was found by me after being down over night. She had alot of protiens built up in her muscles from the fall and started having kidney function failure. She now lives with me in my home.
She isn't at all the same mom I knew and loved 3 months ago. She was diagnosed with a severe dementia decline and they are now sending out a social worker to start paperwork for Hospice. I am willing to try anything? I am exhausted, sleep deprived and stir crazy. What experiences have you all had with Hospice. What should I expect from them?
I don't know how to say this tactfully but Hospice is not normally called in until the end. It is the most wonderful gift in the world. Medicare and Medicaid will only pay for 6 months of service but I learned to appreciate each and every day and not focus on the end. I have a belief system that allows me to acknowledge that the time on earth is just time that we are preparing for something that is so much better.
Mom had brief moments of recollection and I lived for those times. She was dangerous to herself and others with her illness and she had to be in a nursing home but we were there with her all the time and still brought her home for holidays and birthdays and family events.
We were able in the end to bring her home and she died here in her tv room with my laying in bed with her and praying and singing "Amazing Grace". My objective was to make her life happy and I didn't want her to be afraid. She knew she was home. I had a nurse every day to help me. Because of her size and she could no longer move on her own, I needed help.
Mom had left us her house but we were in the process of fixing 20 plus years of disrepair to sell the home to pay for nursing home expenses. She always knew she was home in the end even though prior to that at visits, she was really unaware. She was able to tell us things that we never expected she would ever remember. She was so grateful to be home.
The nurses would stay an hour or two and in the end...they would stay overnight. They trained me on how to give her medication and kept me involved in what to look for. I always had an emergency number and there was a professional only a phone call away. I couldn't control the illness but I could make sure she didn't have pain and she was comfortable in her environment. They also had a minister who would come and visit us. I have a son in college and a 15 year old who I was worried wouldn't handle this well. They both thought it was the best thing and was happy to make her life as wonderful as she had done for us for years.
Do you have a local church? If not call your local Services for the Aging. Also, through the hospital, try to get a case worker who can help you with some of these things.
Hospice will also have a respite service...depending on which one you go with.
If you need any more information, please let me know. This time was so difficult for us but I was so grateful to have that time. When she passed, we had told her it was time and she wasn't afraid....and we weren't either. She died the day after Thanksgiving and even though the day before and the day after Thanksgiving she couldn't move or communicate. She woke up Thanksgiving morning to the smell of the season and she was her old self trying to help me cook and willing to do dishes if I could help get her out of bed. God gave us our last Thanksgiving together. God Bless!
Best wishes! I know how u feel....
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