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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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He refuses saying there are too many old people. My husband has alzheimers. Last year I took him to day care and he refused to stay and would not go back. I feel it would be so beneficial for him but he refuses to go back.
I have a feeling some people refuse to go back to daycare because they see others who can barely get around, thus they are afraid they will be next :(
Would it be possible for you to go to the daycare and stay with him until he gets use to the place? Hopefully the place will have something he would really enjoy doing so he can look forward to going back.
I don't know where your husband is at cognitively. This is what worked with my husband:
"You know that I am doing everything possible to keep you at home with me. That is what you want and what I want. I need your help to make this work. I need time to do my own things while I know you are safe and comfortable. I need you to go to the Adult Day place three days a week, while I go to my own appointments and do my own work." I didn't mention that I thought it would be good for him, too. Just that it was something he could do for me. He went, for about three years. At each quarterly care meeting when the social worker asked what his purpose was for being there he replied, "So Jeanne can have some time for herself."
I was lucky that he still retained the ability to understand the concept that I needed his help, and also lucky that he retained his personality that would be willing to help. I sure don't know if that would work with your husband. If you think it might, give it a try. Ask him to do it for your sake.
Could he be persuaded that he's going there to help out? The people who run the program might be able to give him some simple tasks to do, like folding newsletters, stuffing envelopes, putting away board games, handing out snacks or whatever. If he thinks he's a volunteer who's there to help the "old people," he might be willing to go.
I haven't had personal experience of using this tactic with the elderly, although it used to work very well with some of my students who resisted doing certain activities when I was teaching special ed. They were more willing to participate if they thought of themselves as helpers, instead of someone who needed help.
I'm a huge fan of JeanneGibbs "Help me help you" strategy. It always, always worked with my dad.
Like Jeanne said, I wouldn't focus on how good it would be for my dad but how much it would help me out. This was the only way I could get my dad to do anything.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Would it be possible for you to go to the daycare and stay with him until he gets use to the place? Hopefully the place will have something he would really enjoy doing so he can look forward to going back.
"You know that I am doing everything possible to keep you at home with me. That is what you want and what I want. I need your help to make this work. I need time to do my own things while I know you are safe and comfortable. I need you to go to the Adult Day place three days a week, while I go to my own appointments and do my own work." I didn't mention that I thought it would be good for him, too. Just that it was something he could do for me. He went, for about three years. At each quarterly care meeting when the social worker asked what his purpose was for being there he replied, "So Jeanne can have some time for herself."
I was lucky that he still retained the ability to understand the concept that I needed his help, and also lucky that he retained his personality that would be willing to help. I sure don't know if that would work with your husband. If you think it might, give it a try. Ask him to do it for your sake.
I haven't had personal experience of using this tactic with the elderly, although it used to work very well with some of my students who resisted doing certain activities when I was teaching special ed. They were more willing to participate if they thought of themselves as helpers, instead of someone who needed help.
Like Jeanne said, I wouldn't focus on how good it would be for my dad but how much it would help me out. This was the only way I could get my dad to do anything.
Good luck with the daycare.