How can I control my mother's overeating?

Hmalta, I think many factors are playing a part in her over-eating. She has dementia (how far down the 'path' is she?) does she remember eating? Does she just eat anything and everything around her? Is she still able to walk by herself? Does she remember where the food is kept? These may seem like silly questions but they are not really. My mom passed away from Alz. and went through various stages with eating - from eating anything put in front of her (or within her reach) and not seeming to 'notice' that she was eating (she gained weight rapidly in that stage), to losing all interest in food as she progressed into severe Alz and needed to be fed as she had forgotten how to feed herself (she lost all of the extra weight she had put on). At this point she couldn't walk, talk or do anything for herself and was bedridden. Then came the sad stage....she no longer would eat and took in only the smallest amounts of liquid as she progressed through the dying (or end-stage) of her life. I'm of the opinion that the extra weight she had on her extended her life for awhile, but death will not be denied.

I guess the weight issue, in the long-run did not really matter, because in the end-stage I would have loved for her to have eaten even though the not eating was an integral part of the dying process. Blessings to you and her and my prayers to all of you on this awful journey. Lindaz

I'd caution about the olives and pickles due to the high salt content. Nuts can be very very high in fat so be aware of that - an alternative might be sunflower seeds - small. Prunes could be good if not a major problem afterwards -
There is not a lot of information here about her -
Does she have access to all food in her home/apt?
Does she have other people to buy her food that she wants? or do you handle it?
I offer holistic weight maintenance workings and coaching and I've maintained a 70+ lb wt loss without dieting for over 35 years.
* If you have a health food store close by, look in the bulk bins for 'healthier' snacks. If you do not have this, or a Costco (good for boxes of 'power bar type snacks that you could cut up) - check on-line for 'healthy sweet snacks' -
* I would have finger foods available or 'healthier' snacks that she can grab (could be: raisins, small containers of yogurt, dried and fresh fruit.
* Have 'literally" grab bags' of food snacks next to her re above.
* It is important to weigh the health concerns with her age and enjoyment / quality of life.
* Whatever you do, do it incrementally. Deprivation is counter-productive.
* I do understand the forgetting part. (Lots depends on her own access to over-other-non-optional eating 'grabbing' - opportunities
* If you are able to shift her attention elsewhere (music, picture-books/magazines, tv, movies, games, massage (hands or feet), do it !
*** At 65 (for a couple more weeks), I weigh 126 today - and went from a size 20 (when in my 20s) to a size 8-10 for most of my life from age 28 on until now. I eat 'healthy' about 80% of the time and learned how to substitute. I exercise regularly although not enough. Of course, it is different once a person forgets or has memory loss-if you control the food available, she will be the better for it. Be gentle with her. Food is a major comfort - learning how to substitute with other (oral) satisfaction is an art form/skill. Often anxiety and hormonal changes/drops can be handled with allowing time to pass. Many people eat with their eyes. This is key to how she may want to eat. Something like an adult pacifier (or fake cigarette type thing) could also help with the oral need(s).

It might be worth it to lock up food, especially if she has a heart condition. Is your mom obese? People with Prader Willi Syndrome need to have food kept literally under lock and key. As long as she is getting three squares and a couple healthy snacks a day, she is being fed.

Even if she is seen by a dietician, she may still go back to her old ways. You should also get her checked out by a geriatric physician because there may be an underlying condition causing her overeating.

We have the same situation with my MIL, especially when it comes to anything sugar based. We lock everything up. We converted a couple of the cabinets in the laundry room to food storage and then put a lock on the laundry room door. Since the laundry room leads out to the garage we put a refrigerator in the garage to keep cold storage items out there. Might seem extreme to some but she is incapable of any type of control so we have to do it for her. She too had gained a lot of weight from the same type of behavior however she did not the other medical conditions that your mother has. We felt, though, that Type 2 diabetes could happen if we didn't alter her eating habits. Hope this helps and wish you the best.

Not really enough here to give proper answer. How old is she? Where does she live? What does she weigh now? Is she emotionally/mentally unstable. Suffering from depression. Often people who are depressed eat too much trying to fill the gap in their emotional body.

One thing that shocked me while I spent a few days in a NH for rehab was the number of residents who appeared to be overweight and the size of the portions served. The residents who were not mentally challenged just sat there and ate everything. I saw one very thin woman and I observed covering her food with her bib and getting up and leaving. She was sitting at the supervised table too.

Ah, katie0731, I hope Dad is still getting his ice cream ... just not enough to make him sick. Does he like ice cream novelties? Those have a kind of built-in portion control. Eating an ice cream sandwich is not as risky and digging into a 3 quart bucket of ice cream!

Dealing with a loved one's food issues is really complex and challenging. We all do the best we can to balance nutritional needs, weight issues, and pleasure.

All of these answers are very well-intentioned, and come from real experience. But I think some of them missed the point that the woman doing the overeating has dementia. That changes the playing field.

Hmalta, sort out the suggestions with your mother specifically in mind. Some of them may be a good help to you. And I hope you will come back and let us know how things are going.

Have her checked for thyroid issues. Also consider medications. I never felt full/satiated until I started an SSRI. It was amazing.

Unfortunately, we had the same issue with my Dad but he loved icre cream so we always see his head in the freezer the problem was he would eat till he got sick. Luckly we had a side by side refrigerator so we put a pad lock on it and it did keep him out. We also had to hide most food in bags and cans downstairs. Hope that helps

There are many reasons why someone gains weight. For example, I gained a lot of weight because I had to be on steroids--which were prescribed to save my life and had to be taken for a significant amount of time. There are biological processes that can cause someone to overeat. So, the best first step is to take her for a primary care visit to discuss the problem.

In all likelihood, she will need mental health care--even if the problem is biological. Loosing weight once you've gained it is a real pain in the you know where. It's not fun and it's not particularly comfortable. She probably could benefit from seeing someone who does behavior therapy or cognitive behavior therapy, because this is the sort of person who is trained to teach the skills needed to deal with this sort of problem. (Be careful. What you are looking for is someone with specialized training. You don't want to send her to someone who does insight oriented therapy, family therapy, etc. When evaluating the therapist, don't bother looking at the conditions / problems the person treats, but the training the person has. A behaviorist or a cognitive behavior therapist will definitely list this sort of training when describing his or her qualifications. If the person doesn't have formal training in this sort of approach, *do not* see him or her.) You have to get used to eating smaller, less calorie dense meals. You will probably want to take her to a nutritionist. You will want to get her moving in whatever way is healthy. Weight loss is a very slow process--and especially slow if you have certain health problems. Depending on how much weight she has to loose, it can take years. You might want to take her to Weight Watchers or other weight loss support group. Weight Watchers and weight loss support groups are helpful for a lot of people and are definitely worth trying. They all rely on accountability / weigh ins, usually done weekly. This is a bad practice, because you want to loose weight slowly--maybe 4-5 pounds a month, not quickly. Weekly weigh ins encourage crash dieting, which sets you up for more weight gain and weight yo-yoing. For super heavies, weekly makes sense, but for people who are not that bad, bi-weekly or monthly weigh-ins is better.

In my case, my primary care physician and the nutritionist were completely worthless. They were unwilling to understand how my disability, old sports injuries and other medical conditions worked together. For example, my doctor suggested that I swim, even though chlorine triggers my asthma as well as other injuries where swimming is contraindicated. I asked for very specific information from the nutritionist, but she was only willing to give me general information, and it was completely out-of-date. I've lost a lot of weight sanely on my own (including weight gain from yet another steroid treatment) but I'm only halfway there. This month, I rewarded myself with a new polo shirt that fits and two pairs of pants that actually fit decently (not baggy). Because I have an inflammatory disease, I can be loosing fat (at the waist line, which is really good) but be gaining weight over the injuries, so weigh-ins don't work for me. I use how clothes fit me as a way to keep me on track, so it's important for me to get rid of clothes that really don't fit me well. I am also *very* big boned and heavily muscled and that limits the methods you can use to determine what weight I should be at.

If she's living with you and eating you all out of house and home, put a lock on it. This is the best way to cut down on her over eating and save on groceries if you just lock it up and take over serving the food by rationing it out yourself

I'd discuss it with her doctor, but, unless there is some medical problem, I'd try something moderate, so she gets what she wants, just not too much of it. Taking drastic measures, so the senior doesn't ever get the favorite foods that she has enjoyed her entire life, seems cruel to me. I recently lost 30 pounds, by watching the calories and just being reasonable about portion size and how often I have treats. I haven't given up anything, but, pick and choose when I have it. So, I don't rule anything out, just when and how much. I just think moderation is the key and since you will be managing more and more of your mom's care and the decisions for her welfare, it seems reasonable to me. IT might not be easy, but, you could explain that the family is on a diet and that it's for everyone. And she'll feel included. It's a good thing to make the veggies the star of the meal with good whole grains and healthy proteins. But, ice cream occasionally is also okay, imo.

I think the best thing is to keep her busy. One of the responses was to have her at a Adult Day Program and I think that is great. I used to work for one and we will receive nutritious meals for the seniors and the people who work there can keep an eye out on what your mom eats. Furthermore, she will be involved socially and be able to work out. We often had clients who does not remember that they eat but once we give them a project, they forget about it.

My brother noticed my Mom was gaining weight. Mom had lost weight in the past and had learned to eat well, and seldom ate sweets. My father kept feeding her with apples, yogurt, bananas and oranges, and cookies, I think this was to keep her happy, and also he may have forgotten she had a snack already. My brother decided to give them chocolate rice cakes, as they are lower in calories. He broke them into pieces of 4 and called them cookies. This helped a lot and of course they continued to eat healthy fruit and yogurt. 
I hope things go better for you. My suggestion is just a suggestion for a sweet substitution and others have given good advice for the rest.

I like all the suggestions here about rationing and types of foods. I wonder if she's eating so much because it's comforting and soothing for her. It sounds like she needs to be on a structured schedule for different activities throughout the day -- times to eat & snack, a favorite TV program, grooming, a walk, brushing the dog or cat, winding yarn into a ball, shredding junk mail, folding towels, searching for a specific item in a catalog, audio book, etc. If these things can be done at consistent times every day, hopefully she'll fall into that routine and find comfort in it. I wish you the best!!

You say your mother is not that far gone that she would not be bothered if you locked the cabinets and refrigerator. And according to your profile, your mother still lives at home. So she's raiding her own refrigerator and food pantry. With that information, I recommend investing in a variety of colored containers to try some portion control using the healthy foods previously suggested. For example:

Green container to hold one cup of veggies
Purple container to hold one cup of berries (frozen mixed berries are best and thaw quickly on counter or overnight in fridge)
Red container to hold third-cup or half-cup of lean protein
Yellow container to hold quarter-cup of healthy starches/whole grain carbs
Blue container to hold quarter-cup of healthy fats like Swiss, Feta, and Cheddar cheese cubes, nuts, avocado
Orange to hold quarter-cup snacks like applesauce, fruit purees, raisins, banana pudding, toasted coconut flakes.

The containers can all be the same size so that they will take up an equal amount of room and give the impression of bounty.

Not knowing how far advanced your mother's Alzheimer's is, get her a large clock and make a chart for the refrigerator and pantry doors to help her understand when to eat and what to eat using the color-coded containers.

I'm facing the challenge of getting someone to stop overeating with my husband, who doesn't have dementia, but rather is stubborn when it comes to food and stressed out dealing with his father. He once finished a jar of peanut butter in three days taking spoonfuls at a time. I bought him a book about the psychology of overeating and if that doesn't work I'm implementing a color container system in my house for portion control.

The first thing I wondered was how old she is and how much she weighs now and how far down the dementia road is she. There will be a point at which she will neither remember to eat nor how to eat. Apparently, she's still walking? Keep her walking as long as possible!

Good enough question, how old, and why not let the issue go - but after watching how much of a handicap extra weight becomes, I think unless they are 100, it is easier to build a food routine that very slowly lowers calories and carbs, limits portion size - if planning meals at home, then don't buy the prepared deserts and meals.

I lost 25 lbs myself on the French Women Don't Get Fat book years back - tasty, simple, fresh food, notice risk areas and greatly reduce them, almost to nothing - I like the method very much, I'm not one for analyzing chemical contents and counting, and portion size and common sense can go a long way IF consistent, thus in the middle of a real lifestyle adjustment.

Over time, I put back about 12 of those pounds over 7 years or so, and had a very hard time getting any more off - until I got sick this year when I broke my ankle - somehow the stress and immobility gave me gastric reflux issues - that was the bad news, the good news is that I had a period of nausea and low appetite, I've now lost 9 lbs again - and I work hard to just eliminate times of easy gooey eating and have muffins only once a month or so, to keep it off. It's hard to lose when we age, to me it's worth it to spend extra time to plan if gaining weight has started - much easier than dealing with it later. Even if one doesn't lose fast, I find I feel more active and alert if I eat deliberately moderately, don't finish the whole plate.

Thank you 1caringwife! I was going to ask the same.

My DH is 95 and I was told, let him have what he wants. We monitor his vitals and I regulate his Lasix according to his swelling in his leg.

If your mother is 50, then call a professional for help in regulating her diet/meal plan. Smaller meals more often is most likely what you will be advised to do. No added sugars.

If your mother is 90+ then the smaller meals more often and just keep watch on her vitals.

I learned from experience - if you tamper with what they want, they can and do swing the other way and won't eat at all. Starvation will kill you too and sometimes cannot be reversed. It took me 2 months to get my DH eating again. Trust me, you don't want to have to go through that either.

Quite often DH forgets he's eaten and wants to eat again.  It's easier to just give him a snack.
When he wakes from a nap, he thinks it's morning again and wants his cocoa.  In the morning I use the Ensure as the base.  In the afternoon I use coffee to cut the calories and even sugar-free cocoa mix.

May I ask how old you mother is? If she is very old, I would let her eat whatever and whenever she wants..........

My frustration is that the nursing home where my brother with brain injury lives - have let him gain 40 lbs. It's very difficult. Many of the staff are overweight, and at this time the chefs are young guys (sloppy joes; subs) - I don't know how many other patients are overweight - it's a small place on one floor. He goes out to a day program 4 days a week, and they fix him a lunch. I have tried various times - the foolish MD is not good at dealing with this - he kept dismissing my concerns by saying he had no authority to order any restrictive diet - the only rules are that you are not allowed to deprive someone of food if they ask for it. And now that my brother's weight has steadily risen over the last 9 years, now the MD adds "obesity" to his diagnosis. And he tells him to eat balanced meals - as if my brother determined what food he eats.

This has given my brother a major new handicap, and he already walks with a rollator and has major balance issues.

I've assumed that his weight gain was also due to meds, and they have him on more seizure meds than I had him on in the past, maybe an anti anxiety one also. He's on Medicaid - I don't know if I'd be able to request a special nutritionist to make food plans in conjunction with the facility. Any thoughts would be welcome. The only change I think is now in place is that my brother has agreed to stop eating deserts. He is 65.

97yroldmom, you seem to be assuming that she is eating because she has cravings. In my experience, the wanting a second meal before the dishes are even cleared from the first meal is not due to cravings, but to the brain 1) not remembering that she's eaten and 2) the brain not getting or processing the message that she is full.

If the eating plan you suggest should work in about 3 days, then I guess it is certainly worth a try for a week or so to see if it produces the desired results. I'm skeptical, but I'd try it. Hmalta, if you do try the no-processed-food-in-the-house plant based diet, do come back and tell us how it works.

Golly, if there were only certain foods she shouldn't eat, this would be a lot easier, wouldn't it? But she can gain weight from eating four servings of cottage cheese or eight pancakes or several peaches because she's forgotten she's already eaten. Have you tried several very small meals a day? I think that your best bet is distraction and keeping her busy, but I also appreciate how hard that can be, all day long.

Have you considered enrolling her in an adult day health program? That would occupy her a few hours on the days she goes, and has a lot of advantages besides keeping her out of the fridge.

My mother would often say, "I haven't eaten breakfast yet" when we visited her in morning at the nh. But she was sitting in the dining room with a used plate in front of her! Mom, there is syrup on your plate. Did you have pancakes? And sometimes she'd say, "Oh, yeah, I guess it did," and sometimes she would say, "No, I don't think I've been served yet." So I understand about people with dementia not necessarily remembering that they've just eaten!

If you only have fruit and nuts for snacks and veggies in the fridge it won't hurt how much she eats. After she gets over the carb cravings she won't be as interested. Make everyone's diet mostly plant based. Then add protein. Try to keep the bread, rice, pasta and potatoes out of the diet. Give her almond butter with celery sticks. That sort of thing. Healthy fats for satiation. Olives and pickles. No chips or sweets. Anything in a cabinet is probably not food but processed stuff.
Let her "bad" stuff be canned fruit in natural or low syrup or popcorn popped in coconut oil. Carbs create cravings. Don't have sodas or fruit juices in the house. Make her fruit cups for the fridge with coconut flakes and nuts sprinkled in.
No breads or sweets or processed meats. It takes about three days to stop the cravings. Remember that dairy has a lot of sugar. No cereals except things like regular oats. Stevia and raisens and walnuts and butter good in oatmeal. No instant stuff. Food needs fiber or nutritional value, hopefully both.
No cheese. Maybe cottage cheese. 
If this seems too hard just try adding more fruit, nuts and veggies. Boiled eggs, avocado.

The only part of your answer that I haven't done is to put a lock on a cabinet. That would have to include the fridge, as well. She's not so far gone that she wouldn't be bothered by it.

Are you home with her for the majority of the day? Don't bring things into the house that she shouldn't eat. (You may need to put a lock on one of the cabinets!) Try to allow for snacks as part of the overall eating plan. Try to have her eat only at the table. Try to otherwise occupy Mom during the day. Walks, time at a playground, etc