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Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
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Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Tbw, my Mom was the same way, plus she thought my Dad could take care of her. HELLO, they were both in their mid to late 90's, still living on their own in their house.
After Mom had a major fall, I hired around the clock caregivers to which my Mom didn't want. Dad thought it was a great idea. After the 3rd day Mom shooed the caregiver out.
Ok, what do we do? Nothing. Unfortunately we all pretty much have to wait for an emergency to happen. For my Mom, it was a 2nd major fall with head trauma. She went from hospital to rehab to long-term-care. If only she wasn't so stubborn.
Thankfully, my Dad hired the caregivers back to help him as he was also a major fall risk. For him, it worked out beautifully.
When one can't budget for private home care, next stop is Medicaid [which is different from Medicare]. Check with your State Medicaid office to see what is available. It may be moot since your Mom refuses "strangers" in the house.
What does she need help with? Is she safe alone? Sometimes what they want and what can actually happen are obviously not the same thing. She has no right to make family members provide her care. She can want it but that doesn't mean she will get it. Everyone has their own lives and responsibilities, etc. It's great if family is willing and able to help, but there are reasonable limits to that.
Your aunt needs to leave. You need to call Adult Protective Services and the Area Agency on Aging and report a mentally ill vulnerable adult living alone.
If she’s of sound mind, the answer is that you can’t make her do anything. She’s an adult free to make her own choices, even bad ones. It also means you and your family don’t have to participate in the bad choices just because she demands it. May sound cold, but it means all of us have to face reality sometime, and giving it to demands only delays the inevitable
Thank you for your response. She for some reason doesn’t even think there is anything wrong with my aunt leaving her family to come live in and care for her 24/7. My aunt has not been home in 4 months. Me and my uncle are now trying to figure out what to do next. Can’t afford in home care. But Mom needs physical therapy to begin to walk again and she sent them away. We are feeling stuck because it’s hard to leave her laying there. She lies and tries to make us promise we won’t leave her. I don’t think her mental state is normal. But just don’t know what our next move should be.
Health and Human Services is who can help you, also, contact your local area on aging aka counsel of aging.
If you all said no more, we get help or walk away completely, she will have no choice but to accept help, of one kind or another.
Don't ever make promises about what you will or won't do, none of us can single handedly care for a non compliant bed bound person, period. It is unfair to ask others to sacrifice their lives so you don't have to do something that you don't want to. I guarantee that nobody wants to give up their lives to prop up her imagined independence. It works for everyone involved or it doesn't work. No matter how much manipulation and guilt gets thrown out she isn't the only one that matters.
Call the Medicaid office or go online and start the process to get her into long term care, that's the choice she has made by sending PT away. She doesn't get to stay at home and not put as much effort as possible into getting better.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
After Mom had a major fall, I hired around the clock caregivers to which my Mom didn't want. Dad thought it was a great idea. After the 3rd day Mom shooed the caregiver out.
Ok, what do we do? Nothing. Unfortunately we all pretty much have to wait for an emergency to happen. For my Mom, it was a 2nd major fall with head trauma. She went from hospital to rehab to long-term-care. If only she wasn't so stubborn.
Thankfully, my Dad hired the caregivers back to help him as he was also a major fall risk. For him, it worked out beautifully.
When one can't budget for private home care, next stop is Medicaid [which is different from Medicare]. Check with your State Medicaid office to see what is available. It may be moot since your Mom refuses "strangers" in the house.
Is she still competent?
What does she need help with? Is she safe alone? Sometimes what they want and what can actually happen are obviously not the same thing. She has no right to make family members provide her care. She can want it but that doesn't mean she will get it. Everyone has their own lives and responsibilities, etc. It's great if family is willing and able to help, but there are reasonable limits to that.
Is she still living alone in her own home?
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/who-do-i-talk-to-when-mother-is-bedridden-but-refuses-outside-help-wants-a-family-member-to-take-car-457524.htm
There are also answers there.
If you all said no more, we get help or walk away completely, she will have no choice but to accept help, of one kind or another.
Don't ever make promises about what you will or won't do, none of us can single handedly care for a non compliant bed bound person, period. It is unfair to ask others to sacrifice their lives so you don't have to do something that you don't want to. I guarantee that nobody wants to give up their lives to prop up her imagined independence. It works for everyone involved or it doesn't work. No matter how much manipulation and guilt gets thrown out she isn't the only one that matters.
Call the Medicaid office or go online and start the process to get her into long term care, that's the choice she has made by sending PT away. She doesn't get to stay at home and not put as much effort as possible into getting better.