He's 64, about 500lbs, can't walk, legs can't support his weight. He has a lift chair (where he lives/sleeps) cannot go to the bathroom, won't eat. We've had up to 6 EMTs come and pick him up off the floor and place him back in his chair. I can't pick him up to move him, he's soiled himself, and I can't get him to where I can clean him up. He's totally embarrassed. We need to get him into a recovery home where he can get attention, and help to lose weight, and build up the strength to be able to get up and around. He's on SS disability... I don't know what to do, or whom to contact. I told him to call his doctor, I don't know who it is, and he's putting me off when I ask. We are in Minnesota.
Next time he needs help getting up and you call for a "Lift Assist" ask for transport to the hospital.
He needs to be seen by his doctor.
He needs to be seen by a Bariatric Specialist.
He probably should have a Psych evaluation.
I can tell you that NOTHING will work unless HE WANTS to change.
Everyone that is "helping" him is enabling him. And it needs to stop. Stopping an enabler can be as difficult as getting him to stop what he is doing.
If he is living in your home you could give him the choice to get help or move out. BUT you are going to have to follow through with that ultimatum. The way to do that would be...next time he needs help getting up and you call for a lift assist tell them to transport him REFUSE to get him when he is discharged. Tell the hospital social worker that it is unsafe for him to be in your home, you can not safely care for him any longer.
Time for some tough love and self preservation.
They called back and told him to dial 911....we did, told them to send at least 6 EMTs to lift him. This time there was a cop here, and he took the report, and passed it on to social services, who he had me contact later, and they had me contact vulnerable adult abuse, who took the report, so we got the ball rolling. I just hope they're able to get him the help he needs to get back strength to walk and take care of himself so he can come home, because we're unable to do that here.
Maybe a call to APS? Maybe they can help. You cannot be expected to take care of a 500lb person. He can't take care of himself at that weight. I am hoping that my friend loses enough weight to be placed in a group home. At 43 I don't think a NH is where he should live the rest of his life.