I'm so glad this site exists and that I've read a lot of the advice given on past threads. My aunt (whose situation I wrote about previously) is in the hospital following a fall (and possibly more?) last week. She doesn't have a cellphone, so I've only been able to speak to her once, and she was "confused" then. The nurse tells me she is still having memory issues (which she did not have prior to this admission to hospital) and is not yet in a fit mental state to be asked to sign a HIPAA form, so I can only get a very incomplete picture of what's going on.
Aunt is going to be discharged soon, maybe tomorrow, to skilled nursing. The caseworker recommended a facility that sounded fine to me. However, the representative from the facility (which does not do long-term care) is applying major pressure for me to agree to take her to her home, or have a neighbor come get her, once her 20 Medicare days are up. I'm not going to agree -- as I have NO idea what her diagnosis and needs are.
What will happen if I stick to my guns on this? I have no legal standing in this and want to force "the system" to find her a proper placement, long-term if that is appropriate. However, I would like to know what's going on and where she is being sent, and want to be supportive without being made the responsible party. I will be traveling out there next week. How should I handle this?
Unfortunately you can’t have it both ways. If you act as if you want to know information and be involved in the placement process they will keep pressuring you as if you are the one responsible . Your aunt isn’t even there yet and they are giving you pressure . You just sit tight and when they call you keep telling them she can not live alone. It’s an unsafe discharge. She has no one to care for her and to just let you know where they send her . I’m sorry for your aunt .
this way it gives you a bit more time to figure out what the next steps are and if gives your Aunt a bit of time to bet a bit more clear headed (if she does, some confusion can be chalked up to the fall depending on how long she was down before she was able to get help, of someone found her and it also may be "hospital delirium")
These facilities always try and pressure someone to take the OP into their home, it is SOP.
"No" is a complete sentence, use it over and over again.
Personally, I wouldn't visit right now, I would let the dust settle. If she is like 99.9% of people in her situation she will also pester you to go home, it goes with their mndset.
It is very difficult once you step in to not have everything thrown at you, including Aunt.
It is a tremendous learning curve to become conservator or guardian for someone, to keep all the records and be responsible for all decisions, appointments, care. Often all the while the person who is no longer competent is not cooperating. It can mean the ruin of your daily life, basically.
Step away. You do not want to go from Niece to responsible party. No one, including Aunt, will support that choice. Stay the loving Niece who visits.
My aunt assigned me springing POA without my knowledge. Family found out and all the sudden, tag, you're it for EVERYTHING. I live in another state.
I gave up POA and don't visit anymore. Aunt is too combative and in denial. She doesn't even have a caregiver there anymore that I provided. The only thing she wants is for someone to do her house chores, but she needs way more than that.
I don't call my cousins to check on her, either because the last time I did that, they were asking me to come down and stay with aunt for a week or more.
Stay away and like waytomisery said, let the chips fall where they may.
I have my life and job and can't give that up. You have your life, as well.
20 days is the 100% Medicare pays. They allow 100 days but after 20 days Medicare only pays for 50% your Aunt is responsible for the other 50%. I would call the SW where Aunt is and tell them that the SW from the other facility has called and put pressure on you. You have jo legal standing to help this Aunt. You will not take the responsibility of taking her home and neither will you ask anyone else. Once Aunt walks thru those doors, she will get no help.
She needs to be evaluated for 24/7 care. If found she needs it, can be transferred over to a LTC. You need to make these SWs aware you are not nor can be responsible for this Aunt. The State will need to step in.
I am still leaning toward visiting, as I have this darn nonrefundable plane ticket, car, etc. for next week, that I bought before all this occurred. I'm thinking I will go, because at least I could bring her glasses to her and some clothing/things she'll need in the SNF, and I could assess the state of her home to figure out what has to be done there if she is permanently placed elsewhere. I can go in as a "visitor," can't I, without becoming legally entangled?
The best way to go in “ as a visitor “ is to go after dinner time or on the weekend . During the day during the week all the admin and case managers are walking around looking to corner the family to discuss discharge plans .
Don’t sign any paperwork at all , in person, and don’t give them your email.
Your aunt, they maybe trying to get get to take her, there is a contract, someone would need to sign for her so they can get paid by insurance, if she can't do it herself.
I did this for my mom when she couldn't sign the contract. The nurse even mentioned this and it was written on the contract "patient unable to sign".After she passed, her insurance sent the statement the facility, LTACH in this instance, was paid in full.
Repeat.
Every time.
You have explained here the many good reasons: no authority/POA, no diagnosis, no plan, not even your Aunt's wish probably.
No need to get onto lengthy disussions with unreasonable people or bullies, they only try to find a thread to unravel your defences.
The Skilled Nursing will want a planned destination for every new patient. Otherwise they have a patient they hold 'Duty of Care' for without any authority to move them on. The facility would fill up & new patients never able to get in. Does this make sense?
Private rehabs near me won't ever take a patient IN without a discharge destination OUT - either back home or a confirmed bed in AL/NH.
This is an issue for Skilled Nursing admin staff, not you.
This is also EXACTLY why you would NOT agree in any way to provide your home as the discharge destination.
You hold no authority over your Aunt's living atrangements. Nor over her free will to decide for herself. While confused, she has not been declared incapable in a legal more permanent way.