How can I learn to communicate differently with Alzheimer’s?

Alzheimer's disease destroys the connections in the brain and eventually it will cease to function, except to keep the patient alive. Perhaps at the beginning you might be able to get some ideas across. Eventually, communicating with her will become impossible. There is no special language or technique that can help you to communicate with your mother when her dementia gets worse..

My “technique” is to stay with your mother right where SHE IS in her conversation.

My LO and I shared a PASSION for jewelry OF ANY KIND, until last November, she and I could chat about the jewelry I was wearing, even when she could communicate about very little else.

Sometimes family pictures can evoke comments that you can pick up on, or magazines can draw out memories of movie stars or kitchen furniture or cuddly puppies or kittens.

And maybe nothing will do what you hope to do, but making the offering may help YOU FEEL BETTER, and that’s a good thing too.

Will you be FaceTiming or just using the phone? Phones are harder, but if you’re doing FT be sure that she has access to a screen that she can actually see.

Something else, for you- the sooner you can let yourself fully address who she is RIGHT NOW and let go of who she was in your memories, the more comfortable you can become. And after that happens, you will ultimately be able to enjoy your special memories even more.

Hard times for all of us who are losing someone dear to us.

Keep conversations simple. Talk about her younger days that she may still remember. I made a album of photos for my husband to look at that has pictures of his sisters and parents as well as children and grandchildren. At this point he only recognizes the older photos of his parents and sisters.
Go along with her conversation. We listen to a country music tv channel that shows pictures of the artists that are playing. My husband often tells me he knows them and they are friends that he had either sang with them or worked with them. I just have learned to play along and try not to ever argue with him. It makes life so much easier.
Good luck with your LO. This is a hard journey you are on.

Misty, so sorry you are going thru this but we are all rowing the same boat, so know that you are not alone. I put on Youtube videos for my mom and we talk about what's on the screen right now or what's in the newspaper she's reading or I try to get her walking in the house and I talk about "oh..can you walk a few more steps? Now turn right" etc
Hang in there.

There is a very good 33pg booklet available via free download called "Understanding the Dementia Experience" by Jennifer Ghent Fuller. You can Google it and read it for tips. Here is a list of some communication tips as follows:

The “Dont's”
· Do not reason and argue
· Do not demand that they reason or problem-solve
· Do not demand that they remember
· Do not demand that they get their facts straight
· Do not correct their ideas or scold them
· Do not reorient them
· Do not think that they are being uncooperative on purpose
· Do not think that they really do remember, but are pretending not to
· Do not use a “bossy” dictatorial attitude in care
· Do not act with impatience

The "Do's"
· Enter into their frame of reality, or their 'world'
· Be aware of their mood or state of mind
· Use few words and simple phrases
· OR use no words, just friendly gestures and simple motions
· Do everything slowly
· Approach from the front
· Wait for a slow response
· Constantly reassure them that everything is 'OK'
· Keep people with dementia comfortable 'in the moment' - every moment
· Maximize use of remaining abilities
· Limit TV or radio programs which they may feel are frighteningly real
· Maintain privacy
· Provide a safe physical environment

Language Needs
· Use short words
· Use clear and simple sentences
· Speak slowly and calmly
· Questions should ask for a “yes” or “no” answer
· Talk about one thing at a time
· Talk about concrete things; not abstract ideas
· Use common phrases
· Always say what you are doing
· If they repeat their question, repeat your answer as you did the first time · Give them a longer time to process information
· Wait patiently for a response
· Be accepting of inappropriate answers and nonsense words
· Speak softly, soothingly and gently

Care Needs
· Recognize that receiving personal care feels intrusive
· Reassure with your tone and manner
· Do one thing at a time
· Talk through the care “play-by- play”
· Be aware of your body language and use it to communicate relaxation and reassurance
· Be sincere
· Use a soft, soothing touch
· Be aware of the individual’s unique triggers
· Be aware that a person with dementia may not accurately judge whether a situation is threatening to them
· They may respond to fear, pain or anxiety by defending themselves with what we call “aggression”
· If they become distressed, stop immediately and allow them time to calm down – don’t try to restart the activity right away
You need to change your behaviour to adapt to the dementia because the person with the disease cannot.

Another good book is Living in the Labyrinth: A Personal Journey Through the Maze of Alzheimer's, by Diana Friel McGowin. Learn all you can about AD/dementia b/c knowledge is power.

To say there are "no special techniques to use to communicate with an AD patient" is a slap in the face to all the years of dedicated study and time that so many have put into this field! Like Teepa Snow who's YouTube videos are a wonderful tool for all caregivers and used in Memory Care facilities as training guides! Check them out online for more tips. They've helped me in dealing with my mom who had advanced dementia. Our loved ones are still ALIVE and have hearing ears and senses, too, believe it or not, and should never be treated like they're idiots or non living beings FGS!

Wishing you the best of luck with all you have on your plate.