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I live in Phoenix, AZ. I'd love to talk to people who are taking care of spouses who deny that they have any symptoms of any cognitive deterioration, refuse to discuss it with a Dr. and get angry when I have to take over financial tasks that were previously his purview.


Is there a support group in my area, or something online, or can I rely on you dear people to help me through this period? I know if will only get worse. Thank you!

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You may want to Google an in person support group in your area, but know that the Agingcare forum is great too. Alz.org is another good source of info and online forum support.

Your spouse is suffering from anosognosia. Here is a link to an Agingcare article on this very subject:

https://www.agingcare.com/articles/anosognosia-dementia-patients-cant-recognize-impairment-210090.htm

Best of luck to you.
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What do you think you'll get from an in-person group that you won't get on this forum? Your question is a very common one so there will be many here who can give you support and guidance.
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JoAnn29 Sep 2023
She will get info on what is available locally. Make friends with people in the same boat.
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I am a certified support group leader. Your state alz.org will provide a list close to you. There is also a phone number for urgent questions. In the group that I run, I provide local resources and people in my group offer suggestions to behaviors. We share pros and cons of local daycare, facilities and doctors who provide specific services that you cannot get on the forum. I am not in your state, but our county provides a $1500 annual stipends for direct care and respit. Many people did not know that.
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Please call the Alzheimer’s society local chapter. I have attended both in person caregiver meeting and zoom meetings. Look up the Alzheimer’s Foundation of America and contact your local town government office to find out services for the elderly and caregiver support.
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When I was looking for a support group while caring for my now late husband, I just "Googled" local caregiver support groups in my area and found a local one that was meeting in person twice a week.
They literally saved my life as I was literally at my wits end back then, even if I was only able to get away for one of their meetings. And I have to tell you that there is something very powerful about an in person support group verses an online one, as when in person the other caregivers can truly be there for each other, offering a hug when needed or just passing a Kleenex to someone crying.
And being able to share what's on your heart and mind without being judged or made to feel bad, and to know that you're not alone is priceless.
So I would see if your city offers any in-person meetings first, and if they don't Zoom would be the next best or of course this Forum as well.
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If you have a Senior Center they may have a group or know of one. Churches have groups. Office of Aging may know of some,
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Yes. It will only get worse.

As to support group I happen to love Facebook and think you will find support for your very specific needs on some of their pages. Look up dementia or Alzheimer's groups.

In all truth, as an old retired RN I can tell you that denial is typical in the early years. Often the more vehement the denial, the more certain the diagnosis.

Many here don't enjoy or use FB. I have found it an enormous help, esp when my brother had probable early Lewy's dementia diagnosis.

You are going to need to contact your husband's doctor (if he/she is also your doc that's an enorous plus) with evidence you find of his illness prior to his next appointment with his MD so that his MD can handle some of this. Reach his office to find out how best to do this (letter, call?). Medicare exams are now a requirement, so your husband's doc can call in this "yearly checkup" and the doc can make the moves from there.

I would contact an elder law attorney. It is concerning that finances may be at risk in all this. If you have spent a lifetime married and not a part of financial things that is a huge complication that can endanger money. Executive functions often fail as much as a decade before things are coming clearly into focus. You are going to need a way to get into the financial loop, however it is done.

The certain thing here is change. You are going to need a tough and savvy approach that is honest and upfront. I am so sorry you are going through this.

Contact Alz.org to try to reach out for some groups that may be in your own specific area, or a way to research where they may be. Good luck and again, Welcome.

If you have specific questions, do ask them here; and welcome.
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AlvaDeer Oct 2023
I wonder, too, about things like NextDoor. Ours has stuff about everything including now a woman searching for ALF for her parents. There's lots of good advice. I wonder if you were to develop your own group through this if that might work. Here, many recreational facilities in the city will allow space for such meetings. Again, good luck, and hope you'll update us on what you find or create.
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Look into Well Spouse Association (https://wellspouse.org/). They are a wonderful network/support system for spouses/partners caring for loved ones. Their annual conference (online) is coming up, so that may be a way to connect with others. There are local groups across the country. My sister-in-law had been very active within WSA - it was a lifeline for her, I think.

Good luck!
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I found an in-person dementia support group through one of our local psychiatric hospitals. That might be a place to start.
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I found some on Facebook
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Living with Dementia Caregiver Support Group

The UCSF Living with Dementia Caregiver Support Group provides an environment for families and friends of patients diagnosed with dementia to share their experiences and receive support. Walk-ins are welcome. This group is free and is co-sponsored by the Alzheimer's Association and UCSF Memory and Aging Center.
Location: Virtual/Zoom.
Meetings: Second and fourth Tuesdays of the month, 6 – 7:30 p.m.
Contact: Sarah Dulaney at sarah.dulaney@ucsf.edu or (415) 353-4049 or the Alzheimer's Association at (800) 272-3900.

This group has 10-12 members, open to all, do not have to live locally. Participants are from all over. You're not obligated to stay the entire duration if you have limited time.
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NelleHtur: Perhaps this will help you - azcaregiver.org.
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I lived in Casa Grande AZ and I was in a support group given by Pinal County once a month. So, start there on computer google Support Group Phoenix, or your town, if it's Alzheimers, state in the subject, if just any support group, just google that. See what you can find. If you can't find anything, talk with your doctor, look up in the yellow pages of a phone book. I know Maricopa County does have a support group. The one in Casa Grande helped me tremendously. She had a degree in caregiving, AND nursed her second husband after marrying for 3 years, he was diagnosed with dementia, nursed him for 10 years, and shared a whole lot with us. Also, she brought in some widowers, and widows, who shared how they handled things, cared for their wife or husband. The men were pathetic, but they cared with love for their wives when the wives got dementia. I am now a widow, and live in an independent living facility on Price Road you will recognize it betw Elliott and Chandler blvd. Not a fancy place like newer ones, but thousands less per month in cost, wonderful place with lot of activities. I can transition from independent living to assisted and//or memory care. Not fancy, but many of us love it here.
You might google "support groups in Phoenix", and please contact Maricopa County community relations or similar office, and ask for information if they can help guide you to some support groups. I know they can give you some info. Helped me quite a bit when my husband had dementia and Alzheimers. Hope this helps.
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Are there any support groups for caregivers of the elderly in the northwest Indiana area?
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