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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Your first concern should be to stop your mother from driving while drunk as you state in your profile that your mother is still doing. Take away her keys, and have someone disable her car. You will feel horrible if she kills some innocent person and you did nothing to stop her. You can always call 911 and tell them that you suspect that your mother has a UTI(even if you have to lie)and that she needs to be seen in the ER. Once there, you let the hospital social worker know that your mother is an alcoholic and that she is an unsafe discharge and has no one to care for her at home. The social worker will then have to find placement for your mother in the appropriate facility, though she more than likely will have to go to rehab first. And whatever you do, DON'T let the social worker talk you into taking your mother back home with promises of all they will do for you/her, as it's all lies. Instead stand your ground and keep saying that she is an "unsafe discharge" as those are the magic words that will force the hospital to do their job and get your mother the help she needs. Wishing you the best in taking her keys away TODAY, and getting your mother placed.
About Me I am 52 years old, married with one grown son. I work an average of 55 hours a week. I'm looking for any help for my elderly alcoholic mother. She's now 85 years old and has been drinking since the age of 12. She continues to drink and drive, however not as often as before. I have power of attorney, but not medical power of attorney. I don't know what to do, she's going to hurt herself or someone else. Any help would be appreciated. Thank you, Samantha
Your mother has to be WILLING to stop drinking or rehab is a waste of time. Since she's been drinking the past 73 years, I doubt she's interested in getting sober.
Please disable your mother's car immediately! Slash the tires, remove the battery, throw the keys in a dumpster, anything to keep her OFF the road for good. That should be your only concern at this point....saving innocent lives from a drunk driver. Your mother can choose to kill herself, but she shouldn't be entitled to kill others.
I'm sorry you're going thru such a thing. Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult situation.
It is illegal to attempt to place a competent elder in care. You say she's been drinking virtually all your life. She won't be stopping I think until something takes her down, brain or body. And it will. So on you go with your own life and PLEASE go to Al-Anon so you fully understand that you have ZERO power over an alcoholic. Even with POA or MPOA you are not allowed to force an alcoholic to do a single thing, nor can you force them into rehab. Sorry. Wishing you luck. And you will find tremendous support at Al-Anon, much guidance, great friends, and access to things you never imaged existed. GO TO Al-ANON.
I agree that stopping her from driving is the immediate priority.
Getting her into a facility: tell her a "therapeutic fib" something like, you will allow her to resume driving after she moves into a facility. FYI she won't be able to get booze in a facility so you'll need to make sure she doesn't require a medical detox first.
Long-term alcoholism usually ends up with a specific dementia called "wet brain"
"Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome (WKS), sometimes referred to as wet brain, is a brain disorder related to the acute and chronic phases of a vitamin B1 (thiamine) deficiency. Thiamine depletion is seen in individuals with poor nutrition and is a common complication of long-term, heavy drinking."
If you know when she is driving, call the police. They can pull her over and give her a DUI. At that point, the car should be impounded or a family member called to pick it up. In either scenario, you pick up the car and do not return it to her home. Tell Mom it was impounded and sold.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You can always call 911 and tell them that you suspect that your mother has a UTI(even if you have to lie)and that she needs to be seen in the ER.
Once there, you let the hospital social worker know that your mother is an alcoholic and that she is an unsafe discharge and has no one to care for her at home. The social worker will then have to find placement for your mother in the appropriate facility, though she more than likely will have to go to rehab first.
And whatever you do, DON'T let the social worker talk you into taking your mother back home with promises of all they will do for you/her, as it's all lies.
Instead stand your ground and keep saying that she is an "unsafe discharge" as those are the magic words that will force the hospital to do their job and get your mother the help she needs.
Wishing you the best in taking her keys away TODAY, and getting your mother placed.
About Me
I am 52 years old, married with one grown son. I work an average of 55 hours a week.
I'm looking for any help for my elderly alcoholic mother. She's now 85 years old and has been drinking since the age of 12. She continues to drink and drive, however not as often as before. I have power of attorney, but not medical power of attorney. I don't know what to do, she's going to hurt herself or someone else. Any help would be appreciated.
Thank you,
Samantha
Your mother has to be WILLING to stop drinking or rehab is a waste of time. Since she's been drinking the past 73 years, I doubt she's interested in getting sober.
Please disable your mother's car immediately! Slash the tires, remove the battery, throw the keys in a dumpster, anything to keep her OFF the road for good. That should be your only concern at this point....saving innocent lives from a drunk driver. Your mother can choose to kill herself, but she shouldn't be entitled to kill others.
I'm sorry you're going thru such a thing. Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult situation.
So on you go with your own life and PLEASE go to Al-Anon so you fully understand that you have ZERO power over an alcoholic. Even with POA or MPOA you are not allowed to force an alcoholic to do a single thing, nor can you force them into rehab.
Sorry. Wishing you luck. And you will find tremendous support at Al-Anon, much guidance, great friends, and access to things you never imaged existed. GO TO Al-ANON.
Getting her into a facility: tell her a "therapeutic fib" something like, you will allow her to resume driving after she moves into a facility. FYI she won't be able to get booze in a facility so you'll need to make sure she doesn't require a medical detox first.
Long-term alcoholism usually ends up with a specific dementia called "wet brain"
"Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome (WKS), sometimes referred to as wet brain, is a brain disorder related to the acute and chronic phases of a vitamin B1 (thiamine) deficiency. Thiamine depletion is seen in individuals with poor nutrition and is a common complication of long-term, heavy drinking."
Source: https://americanaddictioncenters.org/alcohol/risks-effects-dangers/wernicke-korsakoff-syndrome#
For your own mental health maybe consider attending some Al Anon meetings.
AlAnon for you.
Alcoholics are going to drink and do what they want to do. I had to walk away from Dad and his drinking.
Let go and let God.
Find an AlAnon meeting for you.