My neighbor is 86. She has no one, except people at her church, that help her out. She fell and was in the hospital and then nursing home to recover. Another neighbor and I helped to take care of her dog. Once she was home, people from her church looked in on her and helped. Somehow, about 3 weeks ago, she has singled me out and comes over to my house, ringing my doorbell 3-4 times a day asking when we are going shopping, or when we will do something together, or wanting me to fix her TV. My office is in my home, so I am busy during the day. I have told her when I would be done working and that I would be over to see her after work, only to have her show back up an hour later asking why I can't come over now. She yells and screams at me when I tell her I cannot drop everything to visit with her.
How do I get her to stop and leave me alone? I feel like a prisoner in my own home. I understand from people who have lived here awhile, that she has been angry and difficult for years. I am new to the neighborhood and feel singled out. Even making a set time to visit with her is not enough, because she wants me over every day.
It is okay to tell her that it's unacceptable for her to scream and yell and she won't be seeing you ever if she doesn't stop.
I would call her pastor every single time she has a meltdown with you. If he is seriously working at dealing with this, he needs to know how things are escalating. You can contact the police and ask them to have a chat with her, this might get her the help she so obviously needs.
Please let us know how this resolves, we learn from each other.
Edit: APS does see being able to eat from the microwave as acceptable, so do many people, proven by the frozen microwaveable food sections taking up more space in a grocery store then the fresh food section. People can live anyway they choose, even if that means squalor. What they look for is self neglect, no utilities, no food in the house, obvious confusion. Anything less is seen as managing, which has a very low standard, IMO.
Not answering the door is always an option, too!
In Mysteryshoppers offence...I used to be willing to help and because of my job was well aware of the services available in my County. I found out over the years (I'm 72) that lonely people take advantage. They cling to anyone willing to help. I don't mind helping but I do not want to be relied on for everything they need or want done. And believe me, after you have been taken advantage of a few times, you see the signs. Sometimes it only takes a small act of kindness and they will not let go.
My mantra...I am here to help people find a way, not be the way.
if she has no family, someone in authority will have to decide how she can be helped.
There is nothing you can do except call the police. The police, ambulance, and/or fire department are at her house at least once a week. It all came to a head when she fell in her ditch on her way to somewhere (??). The neighbors call the police; everyone shows up; she comes on to the EMT man; they all laugh. In the past, they take her to the ER; she sobers up; she somehow gets home to do it again.
This last time (maybe two days ago), my husband goes over to talk to the EMT and police officer to complain again about her. I don't go over because I'm tired of it. The EMT and PO say that there is nothing they can do. The Drs release her after she sobers up. Her son says he's trying to get her "committed", but that could be a ruse for my husband to stop calling him everytime the police haul her off.
I'm rambling. Her car was impounded (sp?) because she committed a hit and run while DUI. That only got her a few months in jail. She was released.
Okay...don't answer the door and call the police. I know folks are being nice and saying call her pastor, etc. That's not your job or responsibility. You can only look after yourself. Ignore her.
Someone in your neighborhood should get a restraining order against the crazy old lady who is terrorizing the place. Maybe the guy whose car she tried to steal. If someone gets a restraining order and she decides to get cute and something, that is in violation of it. This neighbor of yours gets arrested and goes to jail. at least then the state would have to figure out what to do with her.
I know what a person trying to steal my car or wrecking my holiday decorations would get from me if I caught them in the act. I don't care how old they are. People have a right to defend their property from theft and damage.
Someone in your neighborhood has to get a restraining order against her.
In these two instances, the neighbors need more care than one person can do. And, without being the person's POA you have no rights. It all could come to bite u in the a**. Some relative could bring charges against you saying you were exploiting this person in some way. No good deed goes unpunished. We allow someone to live with us to get back on their feet. It turns into months and now they are considered a tenant and you have to evict them.
Our world is so different than when the Bible was written. It was small villages back then with small numbers of people living in them. They did for each other so the community would survive. We now need to realize there are just people we cannot help. There has to be some other kind of intervention. So, we should be able to call in people who have the ability to help these poor women. But as we see, the people that have the ability don't use it. Really sad.