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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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You don't mention either in your question or in your profile page "why" you want him to give up driving. I'll assume mid-stage dementia. Most patients are in denial so they won't give up anything. Secretly call his doctors office, explain his situation and have them call him to make an appointment for some routine thing. Then his doctor can drop the bomb that he doesn't want him driving anymore and will have DMV suspend his drivers license. Let the doctor be the bad guy, not you. That may or may not get his cooperation.
Check out the older threads on this site by typing "taking away car keys" in "Search".
There's been lots of good suggestions from stealing or substituting other keys to disconnecting the cables.
If your husband is dangerous on the road (making poor driving judgements) or gets lost frequently, you should alert the local police and give them a description of hubby, your address and phone number.
Many others have have been in your boat and will chime in.
SueC's response is quite informative. When the person is just not able to drive safely, it's really a matter of getting on top of the situation. Often they are not going to accept not driving and turn over the keys. Their brain just isn't able to use reason, so, waiting for that to happen really isn't productive. Getting help from the doctor, DMV, police, all could be required, depending on the results you get at each level.
I was fortunate that my LO got scared when she forgot how to get out of her car one day. (I only found out about it later.) She hung up the keys and told me that the car was broken and that I should get rid of it. She had no further interest in driving. But, it doesn't work like that often.
My husband's neurologist who diagnosed him with dementia (alzheimer's) ordered a driving evaluation by an OT. He wanted me to cancel it saying he was fine, he didn't need it. We got the evaluation. He failed it. He would not give up the keys. So I got family to come and do an intervention to make him give them up. He was still mad at me; and said I didn't trust him, because I wanted the keys. Fortunately, he is still at a stage where the doctor and family could explain to him that insurance will not cover the accidents of a dementia patient told not to drive. He understood that, but still says, "Of course I can drive." There are no spare car keys on our key hooks in the kitchen now. The last doctor appointment part of her appointment exit orders were: "install ignition shut off if necessary." I am fully aware this will not be the only time he will get mad at me and blame me, because eventually I'll have to take the credit and debit cards, and Lord knows what else. Having little problems with that already. It's tough to keep being blamed for things, because he is sick. Just hanging in there.
A friend of mines DH had ALZ. He only drove around town but she had been trying to get him to give up the keys. He always put his keys and wallet in the pocket of his pants and layed the pants on a chair. His pants disappeared. My friend looked high and low. A friend told her to look way under the mattress, she did and found the keys. A few days had gone by and DH had excepted that he lost his keys and license and wouldn't be driving. So, she hid everything and sold the car. Out of site out of mind.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Secretly call his doctors office, explain his situation and have them call him to make an appointment for some routine thing. Then his doctor can drop the bomb that he doesn't want him driving anymore and will have DMV suspend his drivers license. Let the doctor be the bad guy, not you.
That may or may not get his cooperation.
Check out the older threads on this site by typing "taking away car keys" in "Search".
There's been lots of good suggestions from stealing or substituting other keys to disconnecting the cables.
If your husband is dangerous on the road (making poor driving judgements) or gets lost frequently, you should alert the local police and give them a description of hubby, your address and phone number.
Many others have have been in your boat and will chime in.
Good luck.
I was fortunate that my LO got scared when she forgot how to get out of her car one day. (I only found out about it later.) She hung up the keys and told me that the car was broken and that I should get rid of it. She had no further interest in driving. But, it doesn't work like that often.
A friend of mines DH had ALZ. He only drove around town but she had been trying to get him to give up the keys. He always put his keys and wallet in the pocket of his pants and layed the pants on a chair. His pants disappeared. My friend looked high and low. A friend told her to look way under the mattress, she did and found the keys. A few days had gone by and DH had excepted that he lost his keys and license and wouldn't be driving. So, she hid everything and sold the car. Out of site out of mind.