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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
I feel like I cannot do anything I used to. I feel useless. Cannot vacuum a lot take shower once a week, it’s a lot of work. Tired of no one checking on me unless I call.
You put your post under "Depression" so I hope you're getting help with that, as that most certainly can make one not want to do much. But to answer your question, you know it's time to either hire in-home help or look into moving into an assisted living facility when it's getting too difficult for you to do "normal" activities like cleaning your house and yourself. I wish you well in finding the help you need.
Why not consider AL? At least you'll be around others and there is help available. Some good ones even have Activity Directors, busses, events, etc.
I agree that you should get your depression checked if you havent' done that already. It's very very common for elders to need medication. My Mom, who barely wanted to take aspirin, asked for something to help when she started feeling weepy in the morning. She knew it wasn't normal for her. The lowest dose of Lexapro helped her a lot. No shame in needing this kind of help. You're in a giant club.
Paying for in-home is also an option but since you seem to be operating on your own you should know that it can be a merry-go-round of aids until you "gel" with the right one and then hope they stick around. It's also very expensive to hire through an agency -- which I highly recommend. They take care of background checks and finding subs. They also have the proper insurance, conduct standards and accountability for aids, should something happen. They can train aids, as well.
Please see an elder law attorney to get your legal ducks in a row. You will absotely need a medical and financial legal representative as your abilities decline. It might have to be a lawyer, or a pre-chosen legal guardian.
I wish you all the best as you prep for the coming years so they can be peaceful and pleasant.
It sounds like the time is now for you to get assistance at home. Call a home care provider and discuss the list of things you feel you need help with.
Some of the tasks, like housecleaning chores, may be better handled by a housecleaning company.
Have you thought about moving to an assisted living community? Someone will regularly check on you, and there will be other adults to socialize with in common areas, usually communal dining (so you don't have to cook and clean up). Some of these places have an activities director to plan fun activities and engage residents. Some offer transportation service to medical appointments and shopping.
Do you have physical problems making it difficult to do things at home ? Or is it depression the only reason you can’t do things ? Have you seen a doctor to be treated for depression? Can you afford to hire help ? Could you afford , or would consider assistant living , where you would have staff checking on you , as well as housekeeping, meals prepared , activities and socialization with other residents ?
You can call your local County Area Agency of Aging to have a social worker come to your home and determine your needs and help you navigate getting the help you need .
Do not deny that help for your own safety and peace of mind.
Start now with a very part-time gardener, and at other hours get a housekeeper to come by regularly.
My neighbor socializes with the mailman, who stops to listen to her from her porch.
If you are out sitting in your yard, having two chairs, some neighbors walking by will stop for a moment to talk. It seems to happen early, about 8:00 a.m. Be out there.
The socializing may encourage you enough that you will gain enough energy to do more.
The local senior centers have people who call to check in on vulnerable people daily. Sign up!
Feeling Useless? Alone? Overburdened? Tired? Yes, I would say that you needed assistance yesterday. However, it appears that you may be a nonelderly person who is living alone. If so, please read in the bible Ecclesiasticus Chapter 4 verses nine through 12. It may provide you with some insight and/or comfort even if you are not nonelderly.
In addition to the fine answers you have received, depending upon your age, check with your Medicare supplemental insurance (if you have one) and see if there might be a forgotten perk. I had an Advantage Plan and was able to get an assistant for 2 hours a week, paid for by the insurer. Eventually, we hired her outside of her contract and she was a lifesaver after my mom died and I had to go through all of her 75-years' worth of hoarding.
I’m sorry that you are having a difficult time caring for yourself alone. No one can avoid getting older or sick. But with practical assistance, you can make the best of a difficult situation. You have received some very helpful information in the responses you have received, please explore those options and pray about each one seeking Gods guidance. A confidential friend can also be of assistance in helping you make wise decisions. Growing old with understanding will help you make choices that will make you happier. If you insist on living alone and it’s well beyond your ability to care for yourself it would be wise to get assistance as soon as possible. To enjoy old age you must be quick to make adjustments when necessary and learn to speak up for yourself. Old age has its own blessings it has a beauty of its own but it takes courage to experience them. Be grateful for the measure of health you have and make decisions that will preserve, enhance your mental physical and emotional health. See things as they really are and seek the help that you need and above all have confidence in the proverbial saying Proverbe 16:31 it states that “Gray headedness is a crown of beauty when it is found in the way of righteousness. Don’t give up hold your head up and be strong.
My mil is in a similar stage. She lost fil in March but retained both aides for companionship despite having no adls. It’s about 250k a year with the problem being that she will see the Indy aide and the aides informal adoption kinship child as family. She already has her senior moments this way and that’s going to be a huge problem if she slides into the dementia stage 3 or 4 stage where she’s supposedly with it but has given the child residency. It is like my dh told the both of them years ago. Aide is here to get as much money from the two of you as possible. Her, the kid and the 45 people aide says lives at the house aide owns. Having paid friends is the most expensive way to get friends.
If you do choose aides, consider having them take you to senior lunch groups or to grief share meetings if applicable. Ample opportunities for older adult socialization exist such that ppl should not need paid companions plus their kids to meet this need.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
But to answer your question, you know it's time to either hire in-home help or look into moving into an assisted living facility when it's getting too difficult for you to do "normal" activities like cleaning your house and yourself.
I wish you well in finding the help you need.
I agree that you should get your depression checked if you havent' done that already. It's very very common for elders to need medication. My Mom, who barely wanted to take aspirin, asked for something to help when she started feeling weepy in the morning. She knew it wasn't normal for her. The lowest dose of Lexapro helped her a lot. No shame in needing this kind of help. You're in a giant club.
Paying for in-home is also an option but since you seem to be operating on your own you should know that it can be a merry-go-round of aids until you "gel" with the right one and then hope they stick around. It's also very expensive to hire through an agency -- which I highly recommend. They take care of background checks and finding subs. They also have the proper insurance, conduct standards and accountability for aids, should something happen. They can train aids, as well.
Please see an elder law attorney to get your legal ducks in a row. You will absotely need a medical and financial legal representative as your abilities decline. It might have to be a lawyer, or a pre-chosen legal guardian.
I wish you all the best as you prep for the coming years so they can be peaceful and pleasant.
Some of the tasks, like housecleaning chores, may be better handled by a housecleaning company.
Have you thought about moving to an assisted living community? Someone will regularly check on you, and there will be other adults to socialize with in common areas, usually communal dining (so you don't have to cook and clean up).
Some of these places have an activities director to plan fun activities and engage residents. Some offer transportation service to medical appointments and shopping.
Have you seen a doctor to be treated for depression?
Can you afford to hire help ?
Could you afford , or would consider assistant living , where you would have staff checking on you , as well as housekeeping, meals prepared , activities and socialization with other residents ?
You can call your local County Area Agency of Aging to have a social worker come to your home and determine your needs and help you navigate getting the help you need .
Do not deny that help for your own safety and peace of mind.
Start now with a very part-time gardener, and at other hours get a housekeeper to come by regularly.
My neighbor socializes with the mailman, who stops to listen to her from her porch.
If you are out sitting in your yard, having two chairs, some neighbors walking by will stop for a moment to talk. It seems to happen early, about 8:00 a.m.
Be out there.
The socializing may encourage you enough that you will gain enough energy to do more.
The local senior centers have people who call to check in on vulnerable people daily. Sign up!
It is good that you asked this question!
If you insist on living alone and it’s well beyond your ability to care for yourself it would be wise to get assistance as soon as possible. To enjoy old age you must be quick to make adjustments when necessary and learn to speak up for yourself. Old age has its own blessings it has a beauty of its own but it takes courage to experience them. Be grateful for the measure of health you have and make decisions that will preserve, enhance your mental physical and emotional health. See things as they really are and seek the help that you need and above all have confidence in the proverbial saying Proverbe 16:31 it states that “Gray headedness is a crown of beauty when it is found in the way of righteousness. Don’t give up hold your head up and be strong.
If you do choose aides, consider having them take you to senior lunch groups or to grief share meetings if applicable. Ample opportunities for older adult socialization exist such that ppl should not need paid companions plus their kids to meet this need.