Dad had a precious 15 year old small dog. The last 3 years I have been the one running her for grooming and vet visits. Dad no longer drives. I spent a long weekend with her being sick before we had to put her down. It was devastating for both of us. Now, as people predicted, my dog loving lonely dad wants another dog, even an older one. I am an only child caring for him. As of now his dementia is mid stage and he manages at home alone with my help. I am not up to taking on another dog. But I know it's going to break his heart. He is 84. I've said no for now, but any suggestions to make this easier for him to accept?
I completely understand. Just ignore his asking for a pet or divert it to another day and maybe he will forget about it. Let's support the OP and not try and give her options and alternatives she is not up for.
Animals should be in homes where they are wanted and cared for. Sorry the dad wants another dog but we can't always get what we want. I like the idea of a stuffed animal but it sounds like he is not in a state right now where this would appease him.
Why is offering options so offensive?
She needs ideas to cope, if he is still able to live alone with a little help he deserves companionship, either at home or in a facility.
Hiring that help is always a great idea. It isn't bending over backwards, it's about his overall well-being.
Why do we so often forget that about our elders? They do better with socialization, whether 2 or 4 legged.
There are always options.
I do like the fostering idea. The problem may be though, fostered dogs get adopted. This means he will again lose a dog.
I find that people do better with a purpose and some are just perfect to help a rescue dog get ready for their forever home.
Maybe a dog 'timeshare' is possible.
there are robot ones and just stuffed ones.
https://www.alzstore.com/doll-pet-therapy-dementia-s/1516.htm
This means that the rescue will handle all the vet visits and he could get one that needs rehab and isn't very active.
I understand how challenging it is for you but, him living alone means he is lacking companionship and a pet fills that void. You can't be everything to him, no one person can do that for another.
A younger dog would not have the same issues that an older one has.
Can dad afford a housekeeper? Make that part of the deal to introduce another dog, then find one that is willing to clean after a dog. Can he afford a dog walker?
My dads facility let him have his dog and she was a huge blessing to everyone in the house, maybe make finding a board and care home that accepts dogs an option.
I known that there comes a time when someone can no longer handle a pet on their own but, there are other options besides yes or no.
You do not have the medical cost you would if it were your dog. (although you might have to take it to one of the "approved" vets if it is getting current care.
I would also, if you are going to do this, get one that is short haired and does not require routine visits to a groomer.
Some dogs can be littler box trained so that might be a possibility. Although they do need to be taken out for routine exercise.
Would your dad accept a cat as a companion? Far less to do with and for a cat.
Is dad living with you? If so your house , your rules so if you do not want another dog you have to say so.
If dad is living alone...(and he should not be with dementia) but if he has caregivers much of the tending to the dog can be part of their job description.
If he is living alone, if there is a possibility that he will have to make a move to Memory Care many facilities will not allow a pet unless the resident can care for it (or pay to have someone care for it) so not getting one now would make it easier if he has to transition to MC
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