Background: My dad, 80 year-old, lived alone, drove, volunteered, worked 32 hours a week until he caught COVID in October while in the hospital for a UTI. He ended up on a vent and miraculously came off.
In December, he was moved to rehab but was delirious and bedridden. He is in the same facility now as a nursing home resident. The visiting doctor there has "diagnosed" him with vascular dementia (because, she told me, they don't really know what he's dealing with, but assume a lack of O2 before and during being on the vent).
His cognition has returned almost to where he was in October. He was recently assessed by therapy and passed the clock test and others and they're working with him on using his electronics basically.
However...he is still bedridden. Can't even sit up by himself. I'm the only child and live in another state (moving dad here isn't an option. He grew up where he is and has a deep group of friends and other family there).
My problem is...now that he's getting his cognition back, he's starting to ask when he's getting out and what he will drive (he was leasing a car which we had to return). I remind him that until he can walk, get himself to the bathroom, and get off the PEG tube he's on (another story in itself), he can't really go anywhere.
I try to make it a kind of joke with him but it's breaking my heart. He's on Medicaid and I don't know any other options. There is an independent living facility (where my grandmother lived) that has him on the list, but he needs to be able to be independent and I don't see that happening.
My dad doesn't think of himself as being 80. He is used to being "young" and active and social. I'm afraid that if I tell him he's never leaving there, he's going to give up.
(None of this is being helped by the fact that the facility has not allowed any visitors STILL because their staff keeps testing positive for COVID. I'm honestly livid about that....)
Please do not blame the staff, here in Canada many staff in care facilities are poorly paid, have to hold multiple jobs and may live in multi generational homes. They often have no benefits that allow them to stay home if a family member is ill. They may not have had the opportunity to get a vaccine.
I read an article this morning where a woman had to beg for time off work to get her vaccine. She had a mild reaction the next day and was sent home for a week. When she went back to work she was fired.
Instead blame the system that allows employees to be put into this position.
This just happened to my friend who is looked out for her uncle. She checked in on him. He was fairly independent.
Her uncle was very active before he got Covid.
He is now in a nursing home for rehab too. He’s not bouncing back and my friend has a busy job.
She will not be able to care for him 24/7. She has to go to work. She was a full-time nurse. Now she is working in education, training nurses.
She finds comfort knowing that her uncle is getting used to being in a facility with rehab.
He will ask about going home and she tells him that she will discuss his situation with his doctor.
He knows that she works full time and he has started asking other relatives, including his great niece who just got married!
It is a challenging ordeal. I hope the transition to the facility goes as smoothly as possible.
Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Take care.