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Depends who it is that's in denial.....the person diagnosed with dementia or the loved one/care giver. It happens on both ends. I work as a receptionist in a Memory Care community and see a resident who insists she's the only one living there without dementia, that her children put her there for no reason after selling her condos and stealing all her money. She refuses all help from care givers, will not interact with the other residents who are all "crazy and stupid", and will not dine in the dining area with the others during meal time. She has NO short term memory bank whatsoever and repeats herself continuously. There's no talking to her at ALL, so I do my best to ignore her while she's in the lobby area. For some odd reason, the management thinks it's a good idea to let her come out of the secured area into the lobby to hound and torture the receptionist AND the visitors who find her very irritating and offensive. Especially when she asks them WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR MOTHER? SHE'S ACTING SO WEIRD AND STUPID. Sigh.

Then I see the son who insists his 77 year old mother with severe FTD dementia will "get better" if only she's given the proper attention and handling. She's non vocal, so his latest idea is to have her learn SIGN LANGUAGE so she can communicate. Hello? If she was able to communicate she would use her language skills she's BEEN using for the past 7 decades.

Denial is not just a river in Egypt. It's alive and well and in practice by lots of people who cannot or will not deal with the truth because it's too painful.
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Any more you'd care to add?

Generally speaking, does it really matter if they're in denial? They still have the same diagnosis, need the same help, even if they won't/can't acknowledge their problems.
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anonymous912123 Dec 2019
For me, I have found it does make a difference, as if the patient is in denial they are much difficult to deal with, as the fight you at every turn.
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If the person you speak of has dementia, then that is much more of a problem than denial. We all live with a certain amount of denial in our lives regarding things we are not yet ready to face. It is very human. Truth is that you DON'T deal with it.
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Sometimes it isn’t “denial”... it is anosgnosia. That is what my mother has and she TRULY doesn’t believe that anything is wrong with her. She is incapable of understanding that she has mental defects, is incontinent, or needs help. Apparently, it is very common with people who have dementia, strokes, or other types of brain damage.
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I agree that more details would help us to help you. If your LO has dementia, they are not in denial, they are in decline and can't help themselves. Your profile says you are exhausted -- no doubt! Has your LO granted you PoA? If not, and before seeing the doc for a cognitive assessment, it would be a good idea to try to get this legal tool and protection in place. Then maybe get a formal diagnosis for her cognitive function. Knowing if your mom is or is not in control of her mind will better help you cope, and plan for how to move forward. Please provide more info to get fully informed support, encouragement and suggestions for your own wellbeing, and your mom's. Blessings!
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