My parents put some money in a Trust this year and have some 401k monies they live off. I do not believe they will last the “5 year wait” before needing SNF. I have all the different POAs and handle their finances. I am speaking with their financial advisor next week about this. My siblings want to start getting their inheritance before any snf’s get ahold of it. I personally would rather have inheritance also, but I want to do what is right for my parents. They trust me on this. If we drain all their money and they maintain at this level, then they are hurt. If we wait to long then their money is taken.
What do you do?
You want us taxpayers to pay for your mothers care? NO, the money is to be used for her. If there is nothing left then you and siblings get nothing.
You want her to sit in a Medicaid facility with 2 to 3 a room, TV's blaring, screaming and more when she has money to be in a decent facility and well cared for.
This is sad.
do you have to be so hateful and angry. Maybe I am new to this. Please keep your rude opinions to yourself.
You seem not to understand your duties as POA. Please get clarification--NOT from a "financial advisor".
What's "right" for your parents is that their money be spent on private pay care for them. They can live to 102 like my uncle did. I hope they do.
Your parents investments is for THEIR OWN CARE.
WHEN you draw it down is for WHEN THEY NEED IT.
Your siblings cannot get their money unless you do some really questionable "semi-legal machinations that are in my opinion morally reprehensible.
As POA, considering doing this to "enrich" your family is entirely illegal and a breach of your Fiduciary duty to your parents. To say nothing of your moral duty.
I would be ashamed of such behavior in my siblings. As my brother's POA and Trustee I would have read them one heck of a riot act.
They would impoverish their parents to the extent they needed LOOKBACK (translate you are considering Medicaid for them, and Medicaid facilities instead of a good ALF or MC) rather than use the funds they saved for their care ON their care? There has to be a special place in Hades for such behavior; it's enough to make me wish I believed in such a place. I find that morally despicable behavior.
I hope you don't have some horrid attorney who wants only to get you all a bang for your buck, instead of protecting your poor parents. But given our times I cannot hold out a lot of hope on that one.
I honestly wonder at your asking us this question, when your Fiduciary duty and Moral duty imho is to protect your parents from graft and corruption.
Wow.
And inheritance is not a given--it's a 'possibility'. And it's tacky, to say the least, to take it when your parents are still alive and needing care. This will come back to bite you, hard, if the time comes and they needed that money.
Not to say people don't do that all the time--doesn't make it right.
We stand to inherit a pretty sizeable amount of money when/if my MIL ever dies. HOWEVER...every cent she has is currently being earmarked and used for HER CARE. All 3 of the kids would have MUCH PREFERRED that MIL's money had been used for her personal care in a lovely SNF.
So maybe, if she dies someday, they'll all inherit a sizeable amt of money--none of the needs it, all 3 WISH she would move herself to FT care, as opposed to the nightmare we have been living.
The words that jump out at me are "their money". That's what it is: THEIRS. And inheritance is not guaranteed.
And people will surprise you and live far longer than anybody could imagine. The costs of EOL care is significantly more than a simple ALF with them living fairly independently. You need to take stock of that.
Their money is supposed to pay for their care, wherever that might occur, until it runs out.
If your parents wanted to gift you money before they died , they would have done it years ago .
IMO trusts hurt the elderly , but the lawyers and financial advisors make money setting them up meanwhile these elderly don’t know exactly how it works . They get some sales pitch about how you don’t want the nursing home to take the money .
Perhaps if your parents knew what you were planning they never would have set up a trust .
My own father in law fell for it at an elder care lawyer last year . Paid $6,000 to the lawyer to draw up the trust papers . The guy is not going to live 5 years . He totally wasted $6,000. It was disgusting that this lawyer encouraged this when my father in law was already in terrible shape. 19 months later probably looking at hospice soon .
Your dad can use his money just like he did before it was in a trust, so no, he wasn't ripped off unless he set up an irrevocable trust. I have a dim view of those, because you can't do ANYTHING with those assets until the person dies, and things don't always work the way you expect. A revokable trust doesn't hide any assets from nursing homes.
Because I do think it is an utter shame when someone would consider taking their parents money while they are still alive, impoverishing them and putting them at the mercy of what the taxpayer can give for their last years in care at a substandard facility. To me that's either an utter shame or it's not knowing how to be a POA to an extent that is shocking.
The money that they have put away for their "old age, their golden years" should be used to provide the quality care that they deserve.
I personally have a very dim view on people "hiding" assets to allow taxpayers pay for care that could be paid for. And I am sure that the care that they could pay for is of higher quality than what they would get if they were on Medicaid. (and most places that accept Medicaid want at least 2 years of "private pay" before subsidized payments kick in)
You don’t have a clue and instead of being helpful- you judge me, call me names, wish me into hell. Thank you but my life is now a hell and I am trying to do what is right.
Thanks but no thanks.
You made yourself perfectly clear in your post. We don't support stealing from our parents on this forum Anne, issues or no issues. And make no mistake, we ALL have tons of issues with miserable parents, greedy siblings, etc. Caregiving is hell for everyone. I see nobody "wishing you into hell" here, just pointing out the obvious.
When you come here, you get the truth, no matter how much it hurts.
From this point, if you have questions from greedy family, it is best to not share information if you can do this. You can remind them if they continue with badgering you, you will need legal help to respond to them which will further affect their inheritance if anything is left.
Maybe some were a little blunt but what you and siblings would like to do actually will make it hard to place your parents. Why? Because Medicaid considers what you want to do as a "gift" not that you r getting your inheritance ahead of time. Medicaid does not even allow where the IRS allows gifting 17k a year. So what happens if you were to do what you all planned to do, there are penalties. Until those penalties are met, Mom and Dad don't get into a NH unless their children private pay. That Trust, it was done within the 5 yr look back. Medicaid may ask that it be reversed and the money used for parents care.
This forum helped me when I started caring for my Mom. I learned about Medicaid from the members here. You need to be very careful how you spend your parents money. Receipts must me kept. Moms bank statement was my proof. Showed the money coming in and going out. If I paid for something for Mom out of pocket, I wrote myself a check at the eom. I put the receipts in an envelope with the month and the check# on the front. When you apply for Medicaid, u supply 5 yrs of bank statements. (Some states less) and you need to know what any large deduction they may question is.
If parents have a home, it is an exempt asset but there will be no money for upkeep. Psrents SS and pension will need to be used to offset there care. If you or siblings cannot afford upkeep, the house will need to be sold. That money goes to Moms care. With me, Moms house did not sell before her passing. What happens then, Medicaid placed a lien on the house after her death and when it sold the lien needed to be satisfied.
The only way you will be able to "save" your inheritance is if you and siblings do the caring for your parents. POA does not mean u do the caring.
You really need to find out how Medicaid works and what u can and can't do.
I was sweating bullets when contemplating my mother outliving the money she had which was dwindling at costs of $12,000 a month. Yet I knew the alternatives were poor. There was very little quality of life left for her but I knew she was always clean as was her room. The most was done for her as was possible in the condition she was in.
I wish people who come here would learn that the money people have is theirs for their care and there is only inheritance after they pass if there is money left. There often seems to be such little conception that Medicaid is the option once their money is gone or nonexistent and inheritance is only a reality after they die.
We made it know to our 3 sons that the point of the trust is to:
a) preserve our savings for our own care first and foremost
b) protect our money from ourselves should one or both of us develop dementia, preventing us from falling victim to scams (which is a sadly very common problem)
c) help qualify for Medicaid maybe
d) if there's any money leftover when we finally both pass, it goes to who and what is specified in our Wills
Please leave the trust money for your parents' care. Care is incredibly expensive.
JoAnn29 is correct that Medicaid will scrutizine where your parents' money goes if they apply. I can't imagine the trust is written in a way that would allow this, anyway (ours doesn't allow for this).
Also FYI in most states Medicaid only covers LTC which means a recipient is bed-bound. So, one has to qualify in 2 ways: medically and financially. A doctor has to assess a person as needing LTC.
My advice to you is to seek the advise of an elder law attorney before doing anything with your parents’ money as this can potentially prevent them from getting Medicaid if you cannot produce the record of how your parents’ money was spent.