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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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My dad did not even want to hear the word "confused" - but told lots of stories, some real, some not, all pretty sweet, really. And my mom I think believed we would be finding her a nice apartment where she would live on her own up til the last day of her life. No reason to fight them on it, really, as long s you can talk them out of doing the wrong things somehow.
There is no easy way. I had mom”s Dr do it. He was the Dr she most admired. She fired him and blames me saying I was trying to railroad her. Nope just trying to care. With some you just have to let them have their horrific ending. Just take the car keys away.
I don’t think they will ever believe family members or friends. One of my friends is having a horrible time with her mom.
I love visiting my friend. Not now, not visiting anyone now with our mandatory ‘stay at home’ regulations.
Anyway, her mom lives just upstairs in the condo above her so I run into her. It’s hard to be around her. She has declined terribly.
She won’t listen to her daughter. She tries to get me to tell her daughter that she is fine when I can see that she isn’t.
She did stop driving. Thank God, because she constantly got lost while driving. She refuses to live in assisted living facility. She can barely manage going upstairs and her daughter told her that she cannot move in with her.
All this woman wants to do is go to the casino. I am amazed at the widows that go to the casinos because they are lonely. It’s sad. I offered to drive her to the senior community center. She told me that was for old people. She’s 80! LOL
Is this common? That older people feel younger than they are? Just curious about that.
I'm curious too! I think it's denial. That even if they're 80, they're not like the "old people" they grew up knowing. They're an exception, not decrepit and helpless like they think old people are. And admitting to being 'old people' is admitting you're closer to death. My grandmother was just terrified of dying until one day she was worn out, calmly told everyone she loved them, and passed from heart failure a few days later.
My MIL loves the casino! She is not a widow; divorced decades ago (her idea). Almost 80. She can admit to being old but won't admit to being lonely. She has friends and is still able to drive, but never went on one date ever since she was divorced. Says she "doesn't want anyone around". But really, I think she just can't stand being home alone for evening after evening. The quiet settles in and she can't stand it. I wish she had a better outlet than the casino, but as long as she is mentally competent we can't change anything.
I was in Moms bathroom helping her. She turned to go out and she saw herself in the mirro and said "OMG". Did she know it was her or just some old lady? At that time her Dementia had progressed that you just didn't know. Not sure if they feel younger, but I think they are in a part of their Dementia life when they were younger. Even a child.
Your profile says Mom has Dementia/ALZ. If not seeing a neurologist, she needs to be. And she needs to be tested for what type of Dementia she has. They are finding a med that works for one type of Dementia, doesn't for another. If she is volatile, there are meds for that.
Tactfully. Other than that, it depends on what's happening and what you want to happen next.
What do you mean, volatile? What is the nature of this person's possible reaction to your expression of concern that you are afraid of? I ask especially, because - just for example - it's one thing for her to "shoot the messenger" but it's quite a different thing if you fear she might shoot herself. Without the inverted commas, even.
I got a letter from her neurologist stating that she is no longer capable of handing her finances but I’m not sure to utilize it. How can I use it? She thinks she’s that dr because her “memory is getting bad!” She doesn’t know what she doesn’t know.
That is the million dollar question! In terms of Alzheimer’s, I have found it impossible because their reality is their reality. It stops and ends there. It’s beyond frustrating and leads to feelings of complete helplessness.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
It never turns out well when you try to tell someone that they have mental decline, you will be the bad guy. Let the doctor do it.
I was called an effing liar for repeating that my dad was diagnosed with dementia. He told everyone that I was a liar. Ugh!
I love visiting my friend. Not now, not visiting anyone now with our mandatory ‘stay at home’ regulations.
Anyway, her mom lives just upstairs in the condo above her so I run into her. It’s hard to be around her. She has declined terribly.
She won’t listen to her daughter. She tries to get me to tell her daughter that she is fine when I can see that she isn’t.
She did stop driving. Thank God, because she constantly got lost while driving. She refuses to live in assisted living facility. She can barely manage going upstairs and her daughter told her that she cannot move in with her.
All this woman wants to do is go to the casino. I am amazed at the widows that go to the casinos because they are lonely. It’s sad. I offered to drive her to the senior community center. She told me that was for old people. She’s 80! LOL
Is this common? That older people feel younger than they are? Just curious about that.
My MIL loves the casino! She is not a widow; divorced decades ago (her idea). Almost 80. She can admit to being old but won't admit to being lonely. She has friends and is still able to drive, but never went on one date ever since she was divorced. Says she "doesn't want anyone around". But really, I think she just can't stand being home alone for evening after evening. The quiet settles in and she can't stand it. I wish she had a better outlet than the casino, but as long as she is mentally competent we can't change anything.
Your profile says Mom has Dementia/ALZ. If not seeing a neurologist, she needs to be. And she needs to be tested for what type of Dementia she has. They are finding a med that works for one type of Dementia, doesn't for another. If she is volatile, there are meds for that.
This is a very good article
https://m.activebeat.com/your-health/women/robin-williams-death-9-things-to-know-about-lewy-body-dementia/?utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google&utm_campaign=AB_GGL_US_MOBI-SearchMarketing_TR&utm_content=g_t_303659477023&cus_widget=&utm_term=lewy%20body%20dementia&cus_teaser=kwd-35132660&utm_acid=3040947159&utm_caid=1599827680&utm_agid=62022144433&utm_os=&utm_pagetype=multi&gclid=CjwKCAiA7t3yBRADEiwA4GFlIwXNqttVn7Uds_rHQseE0Lf2rFXNN0wDvS4RrIV-lP80ott8wAXsuRoClvoQAvD_BwE
What do you mean, volatile? What is the nature of this person's possible reaction to your expression of concern that you are afraid of? I ask especially, because - just for example - it's one thing for her to "shoot the messenger" but it's quite a different thing if you fear she might shoot herself. Without the inverted commas, even.