Practically every night I check his pull up before getting him in bed...he's wet so I change him in bathroom & get him cleaned up. Within less than 2 minutes after getting all situated in bed he whispers Babe...I answer and he says I need to go pee. I go back to him & repeat. Then 5-15 minutes later he tells me again. He's wet again! This happens up to 7 times a night. I'm not getting enough sleep. I'm advised to sleep when he sleeps but this isn't always possible due to other obligations. I thought of diapers but those are such a hassle and besides that when he needs to pee or is wet he automatically wants or does get out of the bed. Oh his nurse says don't give him anything to drink after 6 pm...it still happens. Suggestions?
headed from lack of sleep or become ill who will care for him?
As for strategies - you could ask about giving him something that would help him sleep and/or buy better, more absorbent night time incontinence pull ups or briefs so that even if he does urinate he doesn't wake you. (Be sure to cover the mattress with a waterproof cover and top with washable mattress pads)
-you might try sleeping in a different room so you aren't hyper aware of his every move.
-could he use a urinal without your assistance? or a bedside commode?
Is your husband passing great amounts of urine as well, or does he simply feel like he has to go? There are medications for overactive bladder. Also, is he staying in the bathroom long enough? He may need to take an extra minute to make sure he’s voided all he can. He may also need to be tested for a urinary tract infection. There usually are no symptoms other than “anxious” behaviors in those with dementia. It’s a simple urine test.
Does he wear adult incontinent briefs or not? (Please don’t call them diapers to his face..I’ve been told more than once by medical personnel that’s insulting to the person.). You said in the beginning of his post that you change his pull-up but then you mention they’re a hassle. They are, but so is being asleep on your feet trying to help someone use the toilet.
Holding back liquids after 6PM isn’t going to cause him to become dehydrated or make much difference at all. However, if he spends his days drinking coffee and tea or even juices, you need to cut down on those during the day. I know my husband voids so much because he drinks so much.
He is not on diuretics.
When he either has the urge he knows he is supposed to go to bathroom but once we get in bathroom, it is like he is confused as to what to do. I have to assist but it doesn't always go into toilet. When I check his pull up it is wet...not always soaked during this time.
He wears the briefs/pull ups...I do not say diapers...I always refer to them as underwear. I put the diaper on him last night at bedtime and that was a hassle (since I just started using them) BUT right after I got it on and went to my bed he started pulling the diaper off (hearing velcro)!! He was wet and wanted to go to bathroom...cleaned him up and put back a new clean pull up since I was running out of energy.
His nurse was the one that suggested to cut off liquids by at least 6 or 630 pm...there have been several days that it works and I get a good nights sleep but not last night!
If he is wet he wants it off!! Even with the liner.
you might try sleeping in a different room - won't work, I tried that! He gets out of bed looking for me. He gets anxiety if I am not in same room as him!
Urinal - no won't work. He is always too late!
Yes I am mainly is sole caregiver - I get 2 afternoons off with a private pay provider and am thankful but evenings are a killer on me!
Thanks everyone for your replies. It is very much appreciated.
Finally, I wonder if your husband might benefit from an anti-anxiety medication. He sounds really anxious about the toilet issue.
Keep us updated on how it’s going. We care.
Hope you get some rest soon.
As mentioned, the condom catheter is a great choice. We used it with my FIL. We learned though, that we had to tape it to the body to keep it from falling off. Without the tape we had a leak about once a week. After taping we had a leak once every 2-3 months. We used Omniflex, Hypafix or other similar tape, because regular medical tapes did not adhere to the silicon condom. A technician at the urologists office measured him for the size. Unfortunately the urologist did not recommend this, but was happy to help when I asked if this was a possibility. I believe he felt that there are a lot of leaks with it, and other patients had found it unsatisfactory. It was discouraging at first, but with our own investigating, trial and error we found it to increase the quality of life considerably. As he got full nights of sleep his mental and emotional status improved.
For 2 years I had the same situation as you, but instead of pull-ups, I just let him sleep 'commando' and when he had to get up and go, I got him up and he went. He woke me pretty much every hour. Instead of Depends, I bought washable Bed Pads for all the furniture, not just the bed. I covered the couch with a waterproof sheet because he wound up sleeping on the couch during the first year and I put a daybed into the living room the 2nd year. I know, it isn't easy - but they can't hold it for the time it takes to take down the pull-ups. So we just didn't use them. It was only the 2 of us and we rarely if ever got company. I just told the truth, DH is uncomfortable with company.
Like you, I was not getting enough sleep. It was suggested by a "health-nut friend" to try Ashwagandha and my goodness but it helped me immensely - it allowed me to fall back asleep and awaken in the morning feeling rested! It also cut down the stress without taking drugs. Ashwagandha is a root - you can look it up.
Good luck honey - I know you need it.
#1 The liquid consumption could be cut back to an earlier time.
#2 Urinal
#3 Bedside commode
#4 Medication for frequent urination
#5 His Alzheimer's is, of course, now controlling his brain.
Why not give him those and he can "go" in there at night when he's in bed, and all he has to do is sit up and get things in the right place, he can urinate, then lie right back down. He can do it as often as he needs to. In the morning, he can take the containers to the bathroom and flush.
My dad did something like this throughout his ordeal with urinary incontinence. He was ultimately FIXED through having two different laser surgeries where the docs went in and made a better opening in his pipes around the prostate area. If your hubs doesn't have a urologist, I'd suggest making an appointment and getting some tests done. It could very well be he doesn't have to live like this, and can get some help for his frequent urges.