There are 5 kids, but 1 one of them is currently unemployed. We need someone to take care of Mom and Dad. $600 per week ($15/hr x 40 hours) on top of their other household bills would be more than they can afford. But, it's certainly less than hiring a pro. How do we determine a reasonable wage for brother? (Note, he won't live with Mom and Dad.)
One of your parents has dementia, a progressive and fatal disease. Parent needs care.
Start out, PLEASE by consulting your local Area Agency on Aging (to find out what resources are available) and a certified Eldercare Attorney, to find out how to pay for care and not impoverish the "community spouse" i.e., the one who's doesn't need caregiving
Before you pay out funds, make sure you have a caregiving contract made up that specifies duties, payment, arrangement for respite and the like.
If your brother wants to help out his parents, the payment should be whatever your parents and your brother agree upon. He will need an employment contract, and he will need to pay payroll taxes. Does your brother have his own health insurance?
Make sure your brother's duties are mentioned. Chances are as your Mom's dementia advances there will be more things your brother will need to do that are not in the contract. Before he knows it, he is getting only 3 or 4 hours a sleep at night with no days off as he feels he needs to do more... he will crash and burn from exhaustion.
Make sure there is a clause that allows your brother to break the employment contract at any time, for any reason. I would hate to see him feeling guilty that he can't back out if there is a good job offering elsewhere with benefits, such as health insurance, etc.
Call your county Area Agency for Aging and find out how you can get a needs assessment for your Mom. Find out what resources are available to them. Consider applying for Medicaid. Leave no stone unturned! Come up with a plan for immediate needs that can be expanded as needs increase.
Perhaps your brother can be a part of this plan. In fact, perhaps all five of you could be a part of it in various ways. But first check out all the resources that may be available to Mom.
Is Brother now getting workman's comp while he is job searching?
To answer a few questions: Yes, Mom has dementia, but now Dad is showing signs, too. Both have cardiac issues and Dad has a brand new hip that he's still learning to use. This website doesn't let users pick multiple family members or multiple conditions, so I didn't go on and on about both in in my question.
I will urge the family to consult an elder law atty and definitely get a contract in place, if brother turns out to be a workable solution.
And, @jeannegibbs, you're right. The larger problem is the limited finances. Another brother is managing that and the rest of us have the means to pitch-in when the time comes. We just need to be prudent now, in anticipation of bigger bills down the line.
btw, Dad will turn 82 in August and Mom will be 81 in Sept.
Brother isn't getting workers comp (there was no injury involved in his job loss), but he is getting unemployment.
Thanks again. :-)
https://www.cga.ct.gov/2003/rpt/2003-R-0040.htm