My mom has been having hallucinations and constantly asks about where her dead mother is. Recently i have been experiencing anxiety when she starts asking these questions. I don’t know what changed in me but not sure how to deal with it. She is at home, my brother is main care taker, and i do 4 days a week. We are waiting to hear if we can get her in assisted living. I think i am burnt out with all of it. Then i feel guilty because it is my brother who carries the brunt of the caregiving. Maybe i just need to vent but would appreciate any words of wisdome.
my mom has hallucinations as well , started just a number of months ago. When my mom starts , I mentally tell myself to breathe, patience, basically mentally step back from it. I tell myself her brain is broken. That’s how I deal with it. It does no good to argue with her that their are no dead animals on the roof across the street, nor a man with a gun living in an igloo in the yard…
Also I suggest taking her to the doctor and make them aware ahead of the visit that she is experiencing this.
I wish you peace with all this
I try to keep all my anxiety going during the day, don't ignore it. In two online support groups, one social worker, several friends who have been through this, two online dementia classes, writing in a journal, writing here, are the ways I deal with anxiety during the day. Because, I need to rest and sleep as well as I can at night and if the racing thoughts get revved up then-"it can wait 'til morning to deal with them".
You are taking the right steps. You and your brother seem cognizant that you cannot keep up the caregiving in-home and you are checking on facilities.
I am uncertain what facilities you are checking, but it is important to be honest with them about your Mom's capabilities and needs. She may have progressed beyond what can be handled in ALF where most seniors are well enough to function in large part for themselves with minimal care.
I sure wish you good luck.
Don't feel 'guilty' b/c your brother chose to take mom in to care for her; you are doing a kind thing by going over there 4 days a week as it is. Don't feel guilty, either, for feeling stressed out b/c dementia causes stress for ALL loved ones. It's a horrible situation you're all dealing with, God knows, I dealt with it for 5+ years with my mother, so I know. She lived in Memory Care for the past nearly 3 years, and I suggest that's what you look into yourself, not straight up AL, but Memory Care AL which will be a great solution for ALL concerned.
Best of luck