I'm griping a lot... I'm not the happiest about becoming an instant caregiver.
The one silver lining has been my boyfriend who has done an amazing job of stepping in and helping out (as well as talking me down from my multiple meltdowns).
However, since bringing my Dad to my place (which isn't elderly friendly by the way), my boyfriend and I have had absolutely NO alone time.
My Dad is ALWAYS around. We never know when he's asleep or awake. We haven't gone out since he moved in (I miss our Sunday movie nights) and we haven't been intimate since because we never know when Dad is going to interrupt or try to barge in on us.
Even if we are cuddling in the other room, my Dad will find a reason to call me to help him. If my BF just gives me a peck on the cheek, Dad makes some snide comment about it (yet he has no problem when he is the center of attention).
My BF has been wonderful about taking Dad somewhere so I can get some "me" time, but I want some US time... and not just for a few hours. I miss our all day rendezvous where we were carefree and just enjoyed each other whenever we wanted...
This is worse than having kids... which is why I made the decision over 10 years ago that motherhood was NOT in my future.
I want some uninterrupted one-on-one time with my sweetheart without worrying about getting back to Dad. Are those days over?
How can I maintain a healthy relationship if that piece stays missing for too long?
What kind of help does your elder need? If he can just "pop in" on you, then it must not be an ambulatory issue. Is it cognitive?
This sounds like a major shift in what you were used to for years. It can take some getting used to. You didn't have children -- which is a "training" experience for dealing with constant interruptions, but it is also gradual and you grow into it as your child/children grow.
I can understand your frustration because it is a big change in routine for you. This is a good forum to vent, and we can offer some ideas, but please tell some more about your situation so we can offer the correct ideas.
2 more questions - are you in a city or rural area? Also, are you employed outside the home?
See All Answers