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I need to find a companion to keep my mother company in her nursing home. They don’t have enough staff to manage some of her behaviors. What is the best way of finding one?

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I found a companion for my mom by asking the receptionist at the AL/MC if there were private care people working with other residents. She told me about one who turned out to be a gold mine for me. I talked to her and she said that she knew people. Since she knew who my mom was, she matched me with a wonderful woman. It is 18 per hour and minimum of 4 hours. I cancelled the care that mom was getting (kind of) and had the evaluating nurse note on the ADL’s that my mom needed help with showering, dressing and reminders and this wonderful caregiver started providing these for mom as well as walking with her, getting her out for events and 2 meals. I had her work 1-5. My mom goes to bed when she leaves and her teeth are brushed and she is tired! It has been a blessing. Mom sleeps in her clothes and I have water (Propel) with straws sitting around but she does not move much. I pay the lady with Zelle or Cash App. When mom moved to MC, I took her with me because mom does well with her and there is never enough staff! When I needed 24 hour care when mom had a infection, the caregiver had contacts and I ended up with 4 people for 10 days. It was so nice to be in charge of mom’s care in a fruitful way. So now, I have one person 5 days and another person 2 days. Bottom line: pray about it, ask in-house. I also prepared a list of duties I wanted done. Mom gets showers 2-3 times a week, lotions applied, hair washed and fixed, walks 2 times a day (they take the long way to lunch). Events, and mom sits up in her recliner during those 4 hours. She loves her bed but motion is good for the body and the bowels. I wrote out a short bio for mom so they knew she was a RN, had 3 children, where she lived and grew up and other little details. It has been a win/win.
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I am in assisted living. Not needing it, but keep my eyes open. Others here do have private care. Some have much better than others. I am going to talk to the nice ones and get their names, agencies, and ask them if they know anyone. Also, ask her doctor, his staff, any clergy you know. Ask NICE clerks you know at the store, any neighbors or friends who you like. I had my best luck with arranging care for my MIL and husband asking such people.
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Check with the NH social worker. Maybe they have some suggestions. You can also check online, Google companion services and call them. I'm very picky & read reviews.
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I definitely wouldn't go through an agency because you might get someone different every time, and all of the $ doesn't go to the caregiver. It's better if your parent develops a relationship with the person. Last year, I joined Care.com for just a month to find a caregiver for my mother while she was still at home (they do background checks). That person still visits my mother twice a week in her nursing home to spend time with her, and I pay out of pocket for it - $20/hr.
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There are plenty of companies out there that offer this service. Visiting Angels, GrannyNannys etc. I needed one for my mom as well, but get ready to open that check book. It’s expensive averaging $26 an hr. Since your mom is in a nursing home you could try and find someone on your own for $15 an hr. Just do a background check yourself. My mom needed the extra care because she was an extreme fall risk so it was detrimental they show up. That’s why I needed a company who would cover if a caregiver got sick etc..
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Contact junior college or other nursing school in your area to find out if any students need to earn some money. Students ALWAYS need money!
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Some facilities have Volunteers that will come visit residents.
Ask at the facility some have restrictions hiring "outsiders" and you may have to hire from a list of agencies that the facility may have agreements with.
If there are no restrictions you might want to ask one of the aides that help care for your mom. They may want to work extra hours for you. Or they may know of someone that want to work extra.
Do have a contract in place. Hire responsibly (no "under the table" payments)
Side note if mom is on Hospice the Hospice has Volunteers that would be able to sit with her for a few hours each week. this is "hands off". Not sure what you mean about "managing behaviors.
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An agency that provides "sitters" will charge about $30 per hour. Most of that $ does not go to the sitter. The sitter might have a CNA certificate, or not. Depending on where in the country you live, the sitter might not speak, understand, read, or write English very well at all. The sitter will probably fall asleep during her shift because the sitter works several day and night shifts in a row for several agencies and private clients, just to make ends meet and send money back to her family in another country. The sitter most likely spends time in several facilities each week, and shares a two-bedroom apartment with 5 other people who also work at care facilities or drive Ubers, so expect the sitter to bring a virus of one kind or another on a weekly basis. An agency will be able to provide a substitute when the sitter doesn't show, or gets sick, or has car trouble, or travels to another country. The agency will, of course, charge more for holidays, and charge more if the client has tested positive for COVID recently (even if it was the sitter who brought the client COVID). Good luck, you'll need it.
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ZippyZee Dec 2022
This is racist as all hell
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This is what I do (and no, nursing home staff do not have the time needed to offer companion care; they hardly have enough time to do the basics of needed care);

* Ask nursing home administrator, social worker for ideas.

* Reach out to colleges dept heads: Nursing, geriatrics, social work - either volunteers or pay students. They need the experience, flexible hours and a little $.

* Call local churches / ask to post something in their newsletter or weekly program (or include an insert in the program or leave on a table ... ) however you can communicate your need.

* Can friends help you out?

* If you have a NEXT DOOR post something.
- Go to Facebook or wherever you are on social media asking.

BE SURE TO ASK FOR REFERENCES. You do need to be aware of possible theft or criminal records (unfortunately this is the reality we live in).

Google 'volunteer organizations in xxx (your county, city) and see what comes up.

* Some younger seniors need / want to feel useful and could either visit or make socialization calls to your mom.

* Create the flyer or post so they are ready to go. Use bullet points for ease.
(I personally create flyers with tear off tabs for posting (in churches or any bulletin board) although nowadays, calling non-profits / churches may be enough.
Bullet points:
- Who
- Where (neighborhood)
- When (hours/flexible)
- Need (reflective active listener, companion)
- Compensation (volunteer position / payment)

- Decide if you want / can pay someone or not.

Gena.
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I asked on a local facebook group. I asked a lady I had heard did home care and she couldn't do it but gave me names. Good luck.
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