About 3 days ago my Mum suddenly stopped wanting to eat. This came completely out of the blue. Day before she was happy, we went for our evening walk, I cut her hair and styled it and we were laughing listening to old songs, dancing. She was able to read and we were having normal conversations. The next day she was completely different. It’s like a black cloud was hovering over.
I can’t tell what’s going on. I’ve asked her if she’s having pain with her dentures, if her tummy hurts, if she’s having trouble with swallowing, if her stools are alright. I did noticed she did a number 2 today.
Nevertheless, everything I offer her, she only has a bite or 2 and then puts it down. She finds faults with everything! It’s either too hard, too soft, old, too cold, too hot etc. Today I asked if we’d order her favourite pizza to try entice her. She said “yes, that could be good, I’m a bit hungry”. I said “ are you sure if I order, you won’t just put it aside” and she replied with “no, I think pizza will be good”. Next thing the pizza arrives and I plate it only for her to put it aside. On prompting her she finally blurts “it’s cold”. I warm it up in the microwave,.. then she says “it’s old, I’m not eating old pizza”.
At this stage I'm fuming inside while trying to explain to her that it literally just arrived from the pizza store but nothing I say prevails. She starts to pull it apart and make a mess of it at which stage it’s definitely no longer appealing to then turn around and say “look at it, it’s terrible”. She does know how to eat considering she has a bite or two before rejecting.
I'm lost for words,... what is going on?!?
She pulls the same face that you would if you were utterly full or having something gross put in front of your face so I’m wondering if there’s some kind of gag reflect going on.
No no matter how much I ask, she doesn’t tell me anything that would give me an idea. She just mutters that nothing is wrong.
Her behaviour in general has been off the last last couple days. Today when I went to put the seatbelt around her in the car and leant over, she went to bite my arm while making a growling noise. It wasn’t hard, more like a play bite but still odd. When I asked her why she would do that, it seems to have been protective motivated. She said “well you were pushing me!”. I replied saying “no, I was not pushing you, I leant across". But yes odd. She also spat the mouthful of pizza at me while at the same time she loves complaining of any ants near where she sits. There are a few ants and that’s coz she keep dropping crumbs.
Is it possible for dementia to suddenly change / advance like this OR is something else possibly going on I should be investigating? I’ll try take her to doctor but so far she’s not interested.
I’ll try make some protein smoothie tomorrow but just looking for ideas.
she often had a re-occurring UTI.
UTI can cause a sudden change in behavior
Mini stroke can cause a change and a rapid decline
She might not be able to give you an answer as to what is wrong because she does not know herself.
You also have a significant behavior change and I agree with folks about UTIs. My Mom was literally raving during a bout. If urine is normal, I'd chat to your doctor about antidepressants or anti anxiety meds. Violent behavior tends to escalate. My Mom screamed in my face for three days and eyed up the kitchen knives saying that if there wouldn't be repercussions, she would slit our throats. She was sectioned. You want to nip this in the bud. Mom had a good doctor that prescribed the right meds and she is sweet now and contented (not zombied out). Definitely address the aggression ASAP.
Get her urine cultured asap.
One thing, as we age we tend to crave sugary items because we can still enjoy the sweet taste. I remember my Mom's grocery list back when she was in her late 80's and into her 90's. Fudge ripple ice cream... Little Debbie's treats ... a pie ... chocolate chip cupcakes every week. Dad was happy with those items, too.
Oh, the UTI, I remember when my Dad had it, he was seeing ants in his food and ants climbing up the wall. All that went away once he was treated for the UTI.
in normal conditions, she’d have a lot of cranberry juice and daily UTI suppression supplement. The problem is her bladder doesn’t empty properly (this was being investigated pre dementia and she went on a waiting list for an operation. Fast forward to now,.. I’m not sure if they’d operate anymore AND now she’s incontinent.
I would also get probiotic foods and drinks to give daily. Small amounts are great to get her healthy bacteria back in balance. Even a tablespoon multiple times a day is sufficient.
I would ask for her zinc levels to be tested, that is the main nutrient that effects our taste and smell.
Everything that you said has been going on is definitely part of the dementia journey. Changes can happen in a second, they can stick around, be fleeting or a one time episode. So once any actual medical situation is ruled out or treated don't be surprised if you see similar behavior. Dementia is so unpredictable.
That's why people say, "When you have seen one person with dementia, you have seen one person with dementia." No two situations are exactly alike, no behaviors follow a set timeline or rule, it is very challenging to not get blindsided or caught off guard regularly. Just learning as much as you can to understand as much as possible is the best preparation for this journey.
I pray she finds her appetite soon and feels better.
I have a client that will ALWAYS say No if I offer something to eat. But if I bring a plate of grapes and cheese, or a bowl of soup he makes it disappear every time!
Difficulty swallowing is pretty common with elderly and dementia patients. Very small mouthfuls will help.
And definitely keep checking for UTI's and possible stroke.
Best if luck to you.