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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
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A little more info is really needed to answer this properly. Do you have POA for the spouse that is dying? Or does this person still able to make decisions regarding their care? If so they are the one that the doctors, nursing staff should be following when it comes to decisions. Is the person with dementia listed on the HIPAA forms? If not the doctors, nurses and other staff should not be discussing the patient. Dos not matter if it is a spouse. If they are listed it might be a good idea to get that change How or in what way is this person interfering with care? They may be confused as to what is going on and is afraid for their loved one.
Could you describe what is happening in more detail, please? Interfering in what way? What is it that you feel the nursing staff don't understand? Where is the dying spouse being cared for, and who is now the main caregiver for the spouse with dementia?
I suspect this happens fairly often. Your question is a relevant one for all of us who have parents who are POA for each other. Time goes by, one or the other has a fall, a stroke or develops dementia. Of course the ill one may not think they are handicapped and that they know best. I know we have others who have posted saying their one elderly parent was not allowed treatment because the other parent or partner would interfere. Its a difficult situation for all concerned including the medical staff. Often the family doesn’t really understand in advance of the crisis. Sometimes the loved one in crisis was the caretaker of the one blocking the treatment. It can be very complicated. Hopefully in your case you are able to share information and give the medical staff what they need to treat your loved one.
There are nurses on this forum and CNAs. Pretty sure they need to know more info before they can answer this question.
Is the person dying on hospice? Are they at home or in an AL. How is nursing staff involved and why would they not be able to handle this situation. What is the Dementia patient doing to hinder dying patients care?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Do you have POA for the spouse that is dying? Or does this person still able to make decisions regarding their care? If so they are the one that the doctors, nursing staff should be following when it comes to decisions.
Is the person with dementia listed on the HIPAA forms? If not the doctors, nurses and other staff should not be discussing the patient. Dos not matter if it is a spouse. If they are listed it might be a good idea to get that change
How or in what way is this person interfering with care? They may be confused as to what is going on and is afraid for their loved one.
How is the spouse with dementia getting access to the nursing staff and interfering?
Are you POA for one or both of them?
Some more information would be helpful.
Your question is a relevant one for all of us who have parents who are POA for each other. Time goes by, one or the other has a fall, a stroke or develops dementia. Of course the ill one may not think they are handicapped and that they know best.
I know we have others who have posted saying their one elderly parent was not allowed treatment because the other parent or partner would interfere.
Its a difficult situation for all concerned including the medical staff.
Often the family doesn’t really understand in advance of the crisis.
Sometimes the loved one in crisis was the caretaker of the one blocking the treatment.
It can be very complicated.
Hopefully in your case you are able to share information and give the medical staff what they need to treat your loved one.
Is the person dying on hospice? Are they at home or in an AL. How is nursing staff involved and why would they not be able to handle this situation. What is the Dementia patient doing to hinder dying patients care?