My mum who is 76 years old has recently been diagnosed with Vascular dementia and Alzheimer’s and she thinks she has two young children of junior school age. She constantly asks us her family who they are, names, etc. She is fraught with worry wondering where they are and who is looking after them. She wants to apply to our hospital to obtain details of all of her children to prove to us that they exist. She also asks to apply for their birth certificates. She lives alone in a one-bedroom apartment since my father passed away 4 years ago. Can anyone help advise me what we can say to ease her torture? She is in the very early stages and is very astute otherwise. Advice desperately needed and gratefully received 🙏
With not one but two dementias, she is not gonna be safe living by herself, not for much longer anyway.
They have a job and are working at (the movie theater, the local store, the ice cream shop, wherever you can think of)
They are at "Jenny's" house studying
They are at a sleepover
Any excuse you can think of that will mean they are out of the house.
Get her papers to request medical records. Let her fill them out. (you actually might learn something from the info she puts down.) Then tell her that you will mail them. Then don't. When she asks about it tell her that it takes a long time to get medical records when it is not an "emergency" and that with COVID there is a back log of requests. (you can use that excuse for almost anything now)
I also think it is not a good idea that your mom is living alone.
I found with my Husband that with the Vascular Dementia some of the declines he had were literally over night. And each decline was also associated with a fall or some occurrence that made it necessary for me to call 911 for a "Lift Assist"
My Personal opinion is that someone with dementia should not be living alone anyway. You just never know what is going to happen or what will pop into their mind to do that will be a major problem. A fall, deciding to go to the store and leave and no know how to get back home. (does not matter if they walk away or drive away looking for someone with dementia is never a good thing and many outcomes are not what you want)
Also, as the other responders have brought up: is there any chance for your mom to be transitioned into a care community? She'll get so much more social interaction and you'll get the peace of mind of not having to do all the care and responsiiblities. Loneliness is brutal for seniors. Just a thought.
But really the bigger picture and concern here is the fact that your mum lives by herself. Vascular dementia is the most aggressive of all the dementias(and there are many 100's)with a life expectancy of only 5 years. Her decline will be rapid, so you need to start looking now where she needs to go to be safe and well taken care of.
My husband was diagnosed with vascular dementia in July 2018, though he was showing signs and symptoms about a year before that, and he died Sept, 2020. With vascular dementia a person will fall a lot, as in a lot, as their gait becomes very unsteady, and severe incontinence is an issue as well, so as you can see, it's best to now get your 'ducks in a row" when it comes to your mums care.
I wish you well as you travel this road with your mum and in getting things figured out with her care.
Nothing could satisfy her about the “status” of her baby, but a puppy provided some distraction and a little relief for her caregivers.
Her delusions and paranoia continued during that time, but as she became less verbal, they became less vivid.
Truly sorry you are dealing with this difficult behavior.