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Dad thinks he can’t walk, and insists on wheeling himself down to meals by sitting in this walker. He won’t sit anywhere but “his” Dining chair, or his easy chair in his room. He is capable of walking, and we had a HH come to help with leg and arm strength. We were told Dad is capable, and needs to be made to walk, because if he is bed-bound, it is a quick slide to bedsores and hospice. Over the past few months it has been more of a fight for him to get up and walk, but he will transfer to his walker and wheel back and forth to meals sitting backwards and pushing himself. We and staff are giving up on fighting him over walking, it is not worth getting him upset anymore.
We realize that he is heavier now. He transferred from a previous facility with bad food at 108 lbs. his food is better, and he eats 3 meals a day but weight went up to almost 150, and Dr diagnosed him with CHF. Presents, Dads natural weight was 135. Like anyone either a big weight gain, movement is harder. the CHF causes swelling and open sores in legs. He but responds well to meds.
He won’t lay in bed to sleep to relieve swelling, and won’t walk. His appetite is good. We try to do exercises either him twice a week, but after a few minutes he lets us know his displeasure. Haha, as bad as his verbal skill have gotten, he can swear like the devil with no problem!
What kind of experiences have you had with your loved one w/CHF? Is it a quick decline, or does it go on for a few years, and what goes on to happen healthwise? His brothers lived to after 100, but they were active and mentally well.
thanks for reading.

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Thank you, you have all been helpful! The MD who is treating him said in June or July to keep him walking. At the time, if he was mad or really in a hurry, he was capable of rising up quickly without help and almost running across the floor. The Dr said to keep him going as long as we could so he wouldn’t get bed-ridden and suffer more sores. Our intent was that he would be able to help staff transferring him when necessary. We’ve gradually let him revert back, including ourselves. We exercise with him for only a few minutes because sometimes it makes him laugh, sometimes it makes him sing.

I’ve been researching dementia for the last 4 years because of him and realize his body will naturally shut down. I guess we are trying to help him if we can, but that time is over. The CHF is newish for him, and I was really trying to find out how that and Dementia affect him together. He is comfortable, gets lotion, wound care and meds, and he only drinks cranberry juice (3 times a day). It is hard to accept that we’ve done what we can, and now the kinder this is to just let it happen.

thank you all! This forum has been a lifesaver for me!
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Reply to AddieD
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AlvaDeer Dec 25, 2024
It IS hard to accept. The doctor hasn't been helpful either, in suggesting you can power through getting a 98 year old in this condition to keep moving. That is a kind of serious denial in a medical person, and I would ask that doctor now for referral to a gerontologist or palliative care specialist. It is time to accept you will lose him. God knows you have been heroic beyond anything I can imagine in your loving care. Thanks for participating with the Forum; it makes you and Dad very real to us. Love out to you, Addie.
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At 98 years old, let him move by whatever method he feels confident with. He may fall if he walks. At least he is moving in some form!

Why try to make him exercise? Of course 30 extra pounds makes everything harder. Better he keeps moving however he can, since once he becomes bed bound, that is not good.
He is 98 and should do what he wants anyway.
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Reply to Dawn88
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A”quick slide “ to end of life may be better than a slow painful one . Leave Dad be if he feels walking is too much effort .

He probably won’t lay in bed because it’s too difficult to get up again, and/ or it’s difficult to breathe in bed. A lot of elderly sleep in a chair/ recliner .

CHF can become worse suddenly .
Palliative care at this point would be good , followed by hospice .
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Reply to waytomisery
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My dad died of CHF. His time with it was a slow progression over a number of years. The leg weakness and trouble walking was a huge part of it. It’s not laziness or being unwilling. As family who wanted the best for him, we certainly spent plenty of time taking him to therapy, and coaxing him into “trying harder” But one day it became clear there was no more try harder, he’d simply had enough. The fluid build ups, the slow, shuffling gait when walking, the breathlessness, the tiredness, it had all gotten very old and tiresome. His cardiologist told us to bring home from yet another failed rehab and let hospice take over. Dad actually chose this for himself and was gone within 2 months. He was so very ready. Consider if this may be the kindest choice for your dad as well. CHF never improves and with dementia added, I cannot imagine a good outcome. I wish you both peace
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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Your father is 98.
CHF means exactly what it says, Congestive HEART FAILURE.
This means that the heart, which is merely a pump is weakening with age.
There is no cure for this, but symtoms can be treated.
I suggest that you discuss with his doctor and do a lot of research online.
I was a cardiology RN, and can tell you the subject is way too large for a simple answer here.

If your father has Right sided Heart failure he will tend to accumulate fluid in the periphery, his feet, legs, abdominal area. If more serious Left Heart Failure then he will accumulate fluid in the lungs. He may, at his age, have both.
He will be treated with diuretics most likely, and sad to say, while they was out the fluid they also wash out needed electrolytes, especially potassium, so that testing of the blood and possible supplements of potassium are needed.

It may be difficult for him to walk any distance at all due to shortness of breath and even to lay flat in bed. He is now limited and will inevitably become more so.
It is time to discuss palliative and hospice care if you need your father comfortable, because no matter determination and good effort, he will soon be bedbound.

You are, I am certain you know, lucky to have had him this long; certainly that doesn't make grief easier in loss, but it should ease pain to know you father doesn't have to suffer longer, and quite honestly there is little but suffering ahead.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Who says he can walk?

"Yes, congestive heart failure (CHF) can significantly affect the use of your legs, primarily due to fluid buildup causing swelling (edema) in the ankles and lower legs, which can make walking difficult and uncomfortable; this is often considered one of the key symptoms of CHF."

I too think you need to leave Dad alone. He really does not need you on him all the time. You can no longer reason with him because of the Dementia. Be glad he can still wheel himself down to the dining room. He is not going to get better. His mind abd heart are giving out. There is no cure for either of these deseases, tgey just worsen. Just enjoy what time Dad has left.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Your father is 98 with late stage dementia and CHF and you're insisting he walk and do exercises to prolong his life??? To what, 105??? When my mother had advanced dementia and CHF, I prayed daily for God to take her out of her misery, tbh. She was wheelchair bound. That's what can happen to dad, not likely being bedbound .....he's using his legs, right?

Anyway, mom was on hospice at 94 for both dementia and CHF which she'd had for years. CHF is staged, like cancer or any other disease. She'd get short of breath a lot especially after a bowel movement. Her legs were swollen, feet too. One day, about 2 months after going on hospice, I got a call that her status had changed. She had gone to bed after breakfast that morning and was semi comatose. She died 7 days later of CHF. She never woke up again. The 2 conditions were more than her poor body could handle at 95. She'd been wheelchair bound for just under 3 years at that point.

Good luck to you with dad. I'd leave him be if I were you. He's earned the right to say no.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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