Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
He has also pushed me and put his hands around my neck as if he was going to choke me a few times! But then later he will be nice again. When I confront him about it, he denies it happened. So how can I tell his Dr if he is going to deny it all?
I'm assuming you are your husband's medical PoA or HIPAA Medical Representative if you are able to give actionable information to his doctor.
First and foremost you need to protect yourself. Please do not hesitate to call 911 when he verbally threatens you and for sure if he touches you! The responders and police have seen it all, so even if he denies it you MUST call it in. The 911 call record may be important later on. You can tell the police he's been diagnosed with a type of dementia that causes violent behavior. Is your husband on any medication for his agitation/aggression? If not, this is a phone call to his doctor you need to make immediately. Maybe it's time for him to be transitioned into a facility...
You do not need to prove anything to your husband. Often people with dementia will not believe actual proof anyway because their brains won't allow it.
Do you have a relative or friend you can stay with? Do you have your legal and financial ducks in a row so that he can't drain you? I wish you success in maneuving through these coming days to protect yourself and get him appropriate care.
You tell his doctor through the patient portal before your husbands appointments so they know exactly what is going on. Or you can hand them a note before he goes back for his appointment. But then first and foremost you call 911 any time your husband puts his hands on you or threatens you as your safety is of utmost importance. Please don't forget that.
This happened in my state last week. I've deleted the names:
The man accused of killing his wife at a nature reserve outside Baraboo and shooting at the Sauk Prairie Police Department's building suffers from dementia and believed his wife was a "creature," a criminal complaint alleges.
X Y, 80, of Prairie du Sac faces multiple charges including first-degree intentional homicide in the fatal shooting of his wife, 80-year-old X X. She was found dead at Pewit's Nest State Natural Area at around 2:08 p.m. on May 8.
He also faces charges of intentionally pointing a firearm at a person, endangering safety by reckless use of a firearm, criminal damage to property, discharging a firearm within 100 yards of a building and two counts of first-degree recklessly endangering safety.
During an initial court appearance Thursday, a judge issued X Y a $1 million cash bond and ordered a competency evaluation to be completed.
...
Speaking to detectives, X Y allegedly said that his wife was actually a creature who had been posing as his wife for 55 years. The complaint details conspiratorial statements made by X Y to detectives that such creatures were trying to take over the world.
My cousin was a victim of murder suicide. You call 911 and request he gets a psychiatric hold in the ER. He will not get arrested but he cannot refuse a trip to the ER. Look up Baker Act. Insist to the social worker that he cannot be discharge to you because you are not safe.
911, if he threatens or actually lays hands on you in aggressive move. He's not the man you married. Remember that. In the moment he is an aggressor attacking you. After calling 911, I would get out of the house, if possible, and wait for their arrival. Take the car keys just in case you need to get entirely out of his reach.
Please don’t confront him again. He’s lost all ability to be accountable for his actions. You’re not safe living together anymore. Let his doctor know by using the patient portal to send a message informing the doctor about what has occurred. Time to seek another plan for safe living for you both
I have no doubt that this is a very frightening time for you. Though I do not have direct experience with a loved one with dementia, I know others who have, and I have volunteered in past years at a nursing home.
If your husband has not been diagnosed with the TYPE of dementia (e.g., Alzheimer's, Lewy Bodies, Vascular, etc.), then it is time that he should be diagnosed. I say this knowing full well that getting him to submit to this will be hard, but if he has any general doctor's appointment coming up, you can speak with the doctor in ADVANCE and ask him/her to perform a dementia assessment, often called the Montreal Test. You should ask this in advance of the appointment and ask that it be kept between you and the doctor that this will take place.
There are two main things that you must do: 1) keep your husband safe and 2) keep yourself safe. Keeping your husband safe might, in the future, mean placing him in a nursing home that has memory care.
You must also plan for the future.
In planning for the future, you must seek out an elder care attorney and explain to him the situation and start getting things set up such that you will not find yourself out on the street, so to speak, should your husband have to go to a nursing home. (By the sounds of things, that might be sooner than later.) You must make sure that your finances are protected, and seeing an elder care attorney (not just any attorney) will get you started down the right path. I would say that this action must be a priority.
I am so very sorry for you. This must be so hard for you. I have written about how Alzheimer's can be reversed with the ReCODE Protocol, but most everyone ignores me and, instead, buys into the gas-lighting of Big Pharma and the Alzheimer's Association that the ReCODE Protocol does not work. I have been on it just shy of eight years, and it does work.
KittenLover, I hope this all works out. Keep yourself safe. Make decisions based on fact only (e.g., get input from the doctor and the elder care attorney). You will have a long road to go down...but you CAN do this.
Chiming in to also say ~ and agree with others - it is time for placement.
My Uncle was the nicest and kindest man I ever met, he adored his wife. As his dementia progressed she started sleeping on the floor in front of the stairway to block him from wandering during the night. One night, he attacked her, beat her and tried to throw her down the stairs.
She found a lovely Facility (I believe it was a Nursing Home with a Memory Care Unit) where he spent the rest of his life at, and she was finally safe again.
The doctor will believe you. Those of us who have had experiences with people who have dementia know not to believe anything they say. Their brains are broken. If doctor doesn’t believe you, he doesn’t understand dementia, and you need to switch husband to another doctor.
Your safety comes first. You don’t have to allow him to abuse you, and it makes no difference that he becomes nice again. You have to get out of there! I’m sorry and hope you can get help for him and for yourself.
I would try to contact the doctor before the visit explaining what is happening, since your husband may get upset at you hearing you tell the doctor. The doctor will believe you. I hope your husband will receive proper treatment. Please stay safe, I am so sorry you have to deal with this,
This is so frightening. You are not safe and there is nothing you can do to stop him if you continue living together. Get him moved into an appropriate memory care as soon as possible. Don’t tell him about your plans since it might trigger him. Remove knives, hammers, guns, from the home. Let your close friends and relatives know what is happening and that you are going to need their help as you figure things out to stay safe. I’m so sorry, but as has already been said, this is no longer the man you married. He is ill and he is dangerous.
You should get him placed in a care home ASAP. With my mom we had to have her picked up by the county and taken in for a psych eval twice before anyone would agree she needed to be placed not sent home. I went to the county office and filled out forms and they sent a cop over.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
First and foremost you need to protect yourself. Please do not hesitate to call 911 when he verbally threatens you and for sure if he touches you! The responders and police have seen it all, so even if he denies it you MUST call it in. The 911 call record may be important later on. You can tell the police he's been diagnosed with a type of dementia that causes violent behavior. Is your husband on any medication for his agitation/aggression? If not, this is a phone call to his doctor you need to make immediately. Maybe it's time for him to be transitioned into a facility...
You do not need to prove anything to your husband. Often people with dementia will not believe actual proof anyway because their brains won't allow it.
Do you have a relative or friend you can stay with? Do you have your legal and financial ducks in a row so that he can't drain you? I wish you success in maneuving through these coming days to protect yourself and get him appropriate care.
But then first and foremost you call 911 any time your husband puts his hands on you or threatens you as your safety is of utmost importance. Please don't forget that.
This happened in my state last week. I've deleted the names:
The man accused of killing his wife at a nature reserve outside Baraboo and shooting at the Sauk Prairie Police Department's building suffers from dementia and believed his wife was a "creature," a criminal complaint alleges.
X Y, 80, of Prairie du Sac faces multiple charges including first-degree intentional homicide in the fatal shooting of his wife, 80-year-old X X. She was found dead at Pewit's Nest State Natural Area at around 2:08 p.m. on May 8.
He also faces charges of intentionally pointing a firearm at a person, endangering safety by reckless use of a firearm, criminal damage to property, discharging a firearm within 100 yards of a building and two counts of first-degree recklessly endangering safety.
During an initial court appearance Thursday, a judge issued X Y a $1 million cash bond and ordered a competency evaluation to be completed.
...
Speaking to detectives, X Y allegedly said that his wife was actually a creature who had been posing as his wife for 55 years. The complaint details conspiratorial statements made by X Y to detectives that such creatures were trying to take over the world.
And he is going to deny it because he doesn't remember doing it.
I have no doubt that this is a very frightening time for you. Though I do not have direct experience with a loved one with dementia, I know others who have, and I have volunteered in past years at a nursing home.
If your husband has not been diagnosed with the TYPE of dementia (e.g., Alzheimer's, Lewy Bodies, Vascular, etc.), then it is time that he should be diagnosed. I say this knowing full well that getting him to submit to this will be hard, but if he has any general doctor's appointment coming up, you can speak with the doctor in ADVANCE and ask him/her to perform a dementia assessment, often called the Montreal Test. You should ask this in advance of the appointment and ask that it be kept between you and the doctor that this will take place.
There are two main things that you must do: 1) keep your husband safe and 2) keep yourself safe. Keeping your husband safe might, in the future, mean placing him in a nursing home that has memory care.
You must also plan for the future.
In planning for the future, you must seek out an elder care attorney and explain to him the situation and start getting things set up such that you will not find yourself out on the street, so to speak, should your husband have to go to a nursing home. (By the sounds of things, that might be sooner than later.) You must make sure that your finances are protected, and seeing an elder care attorney (not just any attorney) will get you started down the right path. I would say that this action must be a priority.
I am so very sorry for you. This must be so hard for you. I have written about how Alzheimer's can be reversed with the ReCODE Protocol, but most everyone ignores me and, instead, buys into the gas-lighting of Big Pharma and the Alzheimer's Association that the ReCODE Protocol does not work. I have been on it just shy of eight years, and it does work.
KittenLover, I hope this all works out. Keep yourself safe. Make decisions based on fact only (e.g., get input from the doctor and the elder care attorney). You will have a long road to go down...but you CAN do this.
Don't give up,
J. Mark Fox
My Uncle was the nicest and kindest man I ever met, he adored his wife.
As his dementia progressed she started sleeping on the floor in front of the stairway to block him from wandering during the night. One night, he attacked her, beat her and tried to throw her down the stairs.
She found a lovely Facility (I believe it was a Nursing Home with a Memory Care Unit) where he spent the rest of his life at, and she was finally safe again.
Your safety comes first. You don’t have to allow him to abuse you, and it makes no difference that he becomes nice again. You have to get out of there! I’m sorry and hope you can get help for him and for yourself.
I hope your husband will receive proper treatment. Please stay safe, I am so sorry you have to deal with this,