He is disabled, an amputee and various health conditions. He is also 250 lbs.
This particular time, he's been here since jan 2021. I started getting migraines in july, and now back pain that's almost debilitating. I have arthritis in my sacroiliac joints. And most recently stomach problems daily.
I really can't do this anymore. My dr is asking that I get physical therapy for my back. I can't leave my dad home alone and getting a nurse 2 times a week is just not financially possible. I am in a lot of pain.
I have been speaking with a senior advisor about placing him somewhere.
He seems to be pointing me in the direction of putting my dad in a home that will do what is called a bridge loan until I get his house sold. That literally could take months. I need to do something now. I know that people go into facilities all the time with no money, and are "Medicaid pending". Can I do that now even though his house is not close to being sold? Thanks in advance.
Adding as a caveat never ever put your back and health at risk to help a senior. Its not worth the life of agony you could potentially cause yourself.
Also what is dad doing to help OP regarding this? Are they just expecting them to take care of it all?
JMHO, but I don't think that not being candid with emergency responders is professional, realistic or respectful. These people work hard, have others with serious issues, and shouldn't be treated disrespectfully.
If the call isn't "warranted" and the EMS techs as well as hospital ER people determine the facts are "embellished", how do you think they'll respond? They're overworked as it is; they shouldn't have to respond to the kind of call you suggest.
You can arrange for nonemergency transit; you will pay more, but you won't be affecting the time and schedule of first responders and the hospital personnel.
My own experience with loans that are comparable to bridge loans are construction loans, which are designed to provide funding through a construction phase, and are due in full at the end of the estimated construction period. As has happened during construction recessions, the builder often cannot pay off the loan b/c he/she can't get permanent funding. And the builder often is forced into bankruptcy.
This isn't the same as your situation, but I raise the issue so you can consider what happens down the line when the bridge loan matures and full payment is mandatory.
You would need to find out how long a period the bridge loan would cover, whether or not it's due in full at what specific period, and what the consequences would be if you can't get your father qualified.
If payment in full is dependent on selling your father's home, you need to consider Medicaid's potential involvement as well. My knowledge of Medicaid is limited, but you'd need to also address the issue of whether Medicaid would back pay to cover any portion of the bridge loan. Others here are much more knowledgeable on Medicaid issues though.
You don't want to be obligated, personally or otherwise, for paying off a loan w/o some definite guaranty that Medicaid will assist in paying for his care if he enters some type of care facility.
If you live with your dad as his caregiver, you don't have to sell the house to place him. You do have to be able to pay the associated expenses, because he won't be able to contribute in anyway, as his money will go to his care.
I think what is being proposed to you is illegal. A care home that will do a bridge loan should be reported to the DHHS.
Go to a reputable NH and get a needs assessment done. Then you will be able to start the process of getting him on Medicaid in a Medicaid facility.
Yoor local counsil on aging should be able to help you.
Edit: if you don't live with dad, please see a certified elder law attorney to help you navigate selling the home, paying down and Medicaid. Because it gets complicated when you qualify for Medicaid, then get a large sum of money that disqualifies you. This isn't a DIY IMO, I still wouldn't do a bridge loan. That smells super fishy to me.
Get Dad into care asap - on some sort of move-in-now-pay-later deal.
Breathe.
Get the health info you need for treatment plans for your back & other health issues.
Then breathe again. Take the time you need to adjust to any dx you get. Take time to decide what's next: tests, physio, acupuncture, or whatever.
Keep visiting Dad. Both of you will need to adjust to the new normal.
I don't wish to be an alarmist, but I'd hate for you to wait too long. The danger is if you wait to move Dad until all the details are set (sell house etc) your back may get worse in that time 😔.
You have now injured your back, and have migraines, arthritis, and daily stomach pains.
As sp19690 put it: "never ever put your back and health at risk to help a senior. Its not worth the life of agony you could potentially cause yourself."
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.
In another post you said that your brother is playing games. What is his part in all of this? Did you get the tenants out of your father's house yet?
Others here will advise you how to get your father into placement much quicker than you were told by the senior advisor.
Anyway, I got the eviction done, they have their stuff out.
I can move on and get things done now.
I would not take out any loans. The reason being that if you do get Dad in a nursing facility with a loan and his house sells, Medicaid may not allow you to deduct the cost of the loan, especially if taken out in your name. I doubt if this Advisor knows all the ins and outs of Medicaid. I think you need to talk to a Medicaid caseworker. Dads house will need to be sold at Market Value. Actually, under Medicaid the house is an exempt asset. When I filed for Medicaid, within 90 days I to spend down any assets, get them the info needed and find a place for Mom. I got the impression that I just had to have a place lined up to take Mom the day Medicaid started. She didn't need to be placed before that. A question for a Medicaid caseworker.
I read up on Bridge loans. The interest is very high.