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You're under no obligation to be the caregiver to your former MIL. So walk away. I'm going to assume that the son who is threatening to sue you for 'trumped charges' is your ex-husband and that 'trumped charges' means false charges because he's being a petty little tool like so many ex-husbands tend to be.

If I were you I'd tell him to go 'walk' himself (assume that I mean a different 4-letter word here) and walk away today. Let him see how he likes organizing and PAYING for homecare to come and be responsible for his mother and her needs.

If you still have a valid RN license, you should call the Licensing Board in your state and tell them that you provide care for your ex-MIL and that your ex-husband is being spiteful and is threatening to cause trouble for you. Then you give APS a call and tell them the same thing.

Take your former MIL to a hospital ER. You have to come first and protecting your professional reputation has to come before caregiving for your ex-MIL. As an RN you will know what to tell them at the hospital ER if your ex or the rest of her family won't take any responsibility for her.

I'm sorry for the situation you find yourself in. Good luck.
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to BurntCaregiver
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Is the son your ex husband? Why did you agree to take care of your mother in law when you are no longer part of that family?

Give him your month's notice. That should give him ample time to find a replacement.
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Reply to Scampie1
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AlvaDeer Nov 5, 2024
amen
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Pass, let him figure it out, caregiving under these circumstances is not a good idea.
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Reply to MeDolly
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Give notice that you can no longer care for this woman . You don’t need to live with the fear of , or actual accusations , or charges . If you are POA, go to a lawyer to formerly give it up .

This woman is not your responsibility .
Remove yourself from this family.
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Reply to waytomisery
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Exactly what charges are you thinking that the son may make against you, RN?
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Not sure I understand.
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Reply to southernwave
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What charges? Abandonment? Abuse? Financial scamming?

Do you wish to continue to be her caregiver?

Please fill out your profile so we have context for your situation and can give you the most appropriate suggestions to help you.
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Reply to Geaton777
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If you're doing everything on the up and up, why would you have to worry about being sued?
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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Inform him you can no longer care for her.
If she is residing in her own home you can tell him that as of ------------date he will have to find another caregiver.
If he does not then you report to APS a "vulnerable senior".
Are you POA? If so send notice to your ex-MIL's son and Attorney that you are withdrawing as POA. If ex-MIL is not competent to select another POA then Guardianship will have to be established.
Caregiving is stressful enough without adding this stress, and what I would call mental abuse.
If she is residing in your home that puts another level of stress and difficulty in stepping back. Short of doing an ER drop or dropping her off at her son's you may have to file a legal eviction.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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We really need more info. Are you POA? If so, have you kept good records? Are you being paid and if so, do you have paperwork backing that up? Maybe POA says it?

Since you are doing the caregiving, he must be claiming you are finacially defrauding his Mom. I agree, call your licensing board and APS. APS will investigate and if they find nothing than ur in the clear. Ur ex needs to realize that you will not be sticky around if he tries to sue you. That you will turn the care over to him. If he does not take on that responsibility, you will call APS, tell them why you must leave and that you will be leaving a vulnerable adult. You will be giving APS his phone number.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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