He wants her to get an MRI, brain scan and see a neuropsychologist. He put her on a med called Rivastigmine, a 24 hour patch. Has anyone heard of this or your loved one put on it? I share all your feelings and emotions and know what your going through. I pray for each and every one of you.
Has your wife's neurologist diagnosed her with a specific type of dementia? Alzheimer's? I remember I had to fib and bribe my mom to get her to do any medical tests. So, be creative, think of what would make your wife cooperative, and tell her whatever she wants to hear so she'll do the tests.
I think it is best for both of you that your wife be in a care facility, or you hire in-home aide to help you. You can't continue living under constant extreme stress which will kill you, then your wife will end up in a care facility without you looking out for her.
Find a certified elder law attorney to help you out with the planning.
Yes, you are beginning the difficult task of finding out WHAT is exactly wrong with your wife so you can do the best you can by her.
Perhaps, BEFORE all these tests--she is presccribed a mild antianxiety med to calm her down. She'll need her 'wits' about her for some of the testing, but not for others. In fact, I cannot go through a CT scan machine w/o pre-tranqilizing myself.
I am personally not aware of that particular drug, but I do hope you find it helps your wife. Many strides have been made in treating Alz and Parkinson's.
I agree with PolarBear--fib to your wife if it helps her to be more cooperative--do whatever it takes to keep her calm and cooperative.
Discuss this with the Drs before you start the processes, and maybe see if it's possible to schedule more than one per visit. That way, the coaxing and fussing is kept to a minimum.
Also, if you're digging around the internet for info, only use sites like the Mayo Clinic, don't go down the rabbit hole of "my second cousin started eating ground up Mungalo-lo berries in their huckleberry tea and voila-cured!" kind of stuff.
One more thing I try to do, is to find one good thing each day, something I just think is great. Keeps me from getting too angry about what dementia is doing to my husband.
https://www.pdr.net/search-results?q=Rivastigmine
Be sure to scroll down and read the Contraindications/Precautions and Adverse Reactions sections.
It is not a cure-all by any means, but if you choose to use it for her, I pray it works as well for her as it does for my mom! May God strengthen you as you care for your wife.
So, we just see her regular Dr. and he keeps her on a slight mood elevating drug.
Rivastigmine (excelon) is one of the FDA approved meds for Alzheimer's, Lewy body dementia and Parkinson's disease. Once again, that's where getting the correct diagnosis is important. Also, know that the patch is meant to slow the disease process and eventually it will lose its efficacy.
Although we use fibbing to sometimes lure our LO into doing something they refuse to do, that is not always the best approach. If your wife is in the earlier stages of dementia, and you fool her into going to a doctor, she may realize she's been duped and be angry or resentful at what you've done.
It's true, your wife may not think there's anything wrong with her. It's possible, however, that your wife does know things aren't quite right, but is afraid of the diagnosis and prognosis so she denies it. Remember, you're her spouse, not her parent, so you can't boss her around. Even with POA, if she can still make her own decisions, you're only hope is persuasion, not coercion. You might express YOUR concern for her. Tell her about your own feelings, that you're worried and want her to see a doctor because you love her. She may eventually allow you to make a doctors appt with her permission. So at this point, seek some in home care and the expertise of an elder law atty.
And thank you for your concern of others.
My husband has had vascular dementia for over five years. This has become worse over the past year. He has been on a Rivastigmine patch for about two years. I'm not sure how much it helps. He is also on Memantine XL. He was initially placed on Aricept, but he could not tolerate it. It caused him to have hallucinations. It is possible that he would be worse at this point if the medications had not been started. Memory is pretty much gone. He seems to be happy wherever his mind has gone. I pray every day for kindness and patience. This is a cruel diagnosis because my person is pretty much gone. ((((Hugs to you.))))
But it was all necessary for the offical diagnosis. It turned out, based on the results, that my mom had a mixed dementia, with her brain MRI showing signs of both Vascular and Alzheimers dementia. That was important according to the neurologist as Alzheimers meds wouldn't make a difference in her case.
Also, all of this testing meant that I could get an offical "letter of competency " from her neurologist to put with her health and durable POA. It stated that based she was his patient, diagnosis, and that she didn't understand the mental decline, and that it was appropriate for her POA to be in effect. That has been useful in taking care of her affairs.