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My mom is in a skilled nursing facility. Still in her 100 days and Medicare and her F plan are taking care of her bill so far. I think she will have to remain there due toher inability to be on her own. My question is... everything I spend for her is paid for out of her checking or using her credit card. ANY expense has a paper trail & I do monthly income reports of what came in and what goes out. My mom has some paranoia too & she refuses to eat and when she does this I get tempting food for her & she eats alot of it. Since I go see her every day & am her son & POA I occasionally will buy myself some food and eat with her ( not everytime) but can I do that? I DO NOT buy myself anything else AT ALL with her money & the fast food I do buy for myself so far has been less than 50 dollars monthly.

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It sounds to me as tho you are doing a marvelous job. Are you on her account as POA? Do you sign her name followed by your own, adding "as POA" or "by POA" or "Poa in fact". Have you arranged her accounts through the bank with your POA papers? You are keeping track of bills. Do know that you can ALSO see an elder law attorney and pay for it with your mother's funds if you have questions; need guidance. Good luck.
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Mgee6063 Oct 2023
"Poa in fact" unless asked to sign differently like > POA. I am on her accounts all of them & have been for a long time. I send the attorney monthly spend reports I do that because I want to be transparent. I never EVER buy anything cash. I use her checkbook or discover card & have receipts for all purchases & detailed by month.
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I reckon I would forget about the little bit of food you eat with her to keep her company. I can’t see anyone being enthusiastic enough to question it, but keep it simple by not treating it as a meal for yourself.
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I kept careful records and found that no one ever cared or questioned a thing. Still glad I handled it that way, no regrets, but I’d bet you’re doing great and all will be fine
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Thank you all for the responses. To be clear, my mom at this point has money in the bank & a monthly income. She will not be needing Medicaid for about 3 years. I visit her daily & she has a paranoia with food and won't eat a lot of what the facility has. She is better about it BUT for now I can afford to buy her a burger or hot dog and sometimes buy myself one too & sit, visit and eat with her. I am NOT spending ANY of her money for anything for me NOTHING except a burger a few of times a week and I visit her, and we have lunch. Personally I dont see any issue with it & I also keep records of EVERY DIME I spend. NOTHING gets spent for my mom without using her checkbook or HER credit card. NOTHING!!!! so I have receipts for every dime I spend including the burgers for me as well... NOTHING is spent that I have not tracked...
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I would not worry about it. I have my mom pay when we go to the movies and out to eat. She always did in the past so why should she stop now? I'm her activated POA and handle all her finances. I think you're doing great.
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If there is not enough in the checkbook and bills are going to pile up with the cc, then you are not being a good POA by raising her debt. Medicare does not pay 100 % up to day 100. Expect to see a bill somewhere around $180 per day after her 20 days in rehab. It is time to speak to her social worker about that application for Medicaid unless you expect her to be fully cured at day 100 enough that she will be able to go back home and be fine on her own.

Those occasional meals should not be a problem with visits. I do worry about you and finances if you are spending daily visits. Why?
Are you working or do you have your own family that should be the focus of your life?
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Isthisrealyreal Oct 2023
MAC, plan F through a supplemental policy will pay the 50% that Medicare doesn't pay.

This family won't be seeing any rehab bill as long as Medicare continues to approve it, up to 100 days in a billing year.
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Mgee6063: Good job! You should be signing as 'POA in fact.' If your food is a pittance, it shouldn't be questioned.
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Daughter, the issue with “no one ever cared or questioned” your spending as POA, is that no-one was trying to undermine you as POA. The problems come when siblings and other potential beneficiaries from the estate want to show that the POA has benefited personally and the money has reduced their inheritance. And POAs sometimes do behave badly, just as some siblings do behave badly!

It is indeed a good idea to consider the potential problems (or probable absence of them) when you work out how much effort to put into super-detailed record keeping.
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Daughterof1930 Oct 2023
Agreed Margaret, I have a sibling who could have easily caused all manner of trouble. When it was time for me to act as executor, I had a lawyer do all the finances of it to get my fingerprints far away to avoid any issues. Careful records are always best
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