My mom has Alzheimer’s/ dementia but she was doing fine until they switched out one of the roommates. This happened a few weeks ago. The new roommate is rude, loud and blasts her TV. I believe the staff doesn’t really like dealing with her because she is difficult to deal with.
Anyway, this is totally unfair to my mother who is easily distracted by the TV because she thinks people are talking to her. The other resident in the middle bed cannot advocate for herself. She is bed ridden and barely speaks but I can see it in her eyes that she is upset. What can I do about this????
My sister’s and I already filed complaints with an ombudsman, director of nursing, the supervisors to no avail. What can we do??????
Please advise!!!! I believe this abusive to deal with this jerky roommate.
I meanwhile might tend to look into some board and care if this is still an option for living and if there are any assets to cover?
I wish I had a better answer. Were I your Mom I would be quite desperate.
The residents at my brother's ALF became very creative about the communal TV when a particular HOH resident took it over, disturbing the entire one end of the cottage living facilities. There was no end to "lost" remotes and other odd occurances.
When she became crazier, started hoarding and shouting obscenities, I wrote to the DON, SW and executive director, telling them that my mother was being subjected to an abusive living environment and that legal consequences would be forthcoming. I cc'ed mom's lawyer.
The offending roommate was moved the next day.
Paper trail. Actionable "threats"--legal action and reports to the Joint Commission on Nursing Home Accreditation.
Making phone calls and being polite will get you no where. Put it in writing.
DHs Aunt had a roommate that did not like TV, she chose not to have one so complained about Aunt having one. We bought Aunt a headset with a long cord. The handyman took the cord from the TV up into the drop ceiling and down to Aunts chair. That way the woman could not hear it. But then she complained she still could see it. 😏
That’s ridiculous for her to complain that she could see the tv.
When my mom was in rehab, mom and her roommate were hard of hearing. They both played their television loudly! LOL 😆 They cancelled each other out but neither of them complained. They got along well.
If they don't respond in a positive fashion in the very near future, I would tell them you are looking for a new place for your mom. Does have physical issues that necessitate her living in a SNF? Or would a memory care facility perhaps work better due to her dementia? Start looking around and see what you can find.
I can't believe there are THREE in a room! Yuck! I would hate that.
Best of luck!
that was because my mom had aphasia… she couldn’t talk. I stopped paying them rent… I should have moved them… bith mom and aunt were at same facility and they lived in samevrooom… manager said it would be better for them to be placed in separate rooms..why? Because they had a bed in the room with the person who had her TV ON 24/7…
ya, if they don’t do anything, like turn down the sound, put a barrier up so she doesn’t see the tv on, then simply unplug the Damn Thing… and remove battterues from remote.
if that doesn’t work, you msy sugggestvto management thst the TV patient wears headphones to watch tv..
I SAY UNPLUG TV!! HOW DARE THEY SUBJECT 2 patients Because someone thinks they have to have the TV ON 24/7!!!
EITHER MSNSGEMNT TELLLS FAMILY GET HER headphones so she can listen /put up light blocking curtains around her bed so your mom and other RM don’t have to be subjected to TV flickering..
if TV is a smart TV, program it, do it only stays on for one hour a day, and volume only goes so high… and program it so it goes to one channel, you know the one… when you start flipping channels there is one that you stop st, and say:: REALLY? why… then you sigh and skip over it..
had that experience… how rude if management.. talk to the other RM’s LO’s and do something about it..
2. When you visit, as you enter Mom's room , put on the call button ( call button response times are recorded, as required by medicare). When staff com into the room tell them in a very soft voice that nobody can hear anything with all this noise and it disorients you Mom. If they do nothing , call again and ask to speak with DON, again very softly. After 14 days you can ask for a case management meeting to review how unresponsive the staff is. You are entitled to know how long Mom has to wait for responses and what is being done.
3. Also you can record the loud tv, and roommate. Then ask to speak with DON, or higher. Play the recording while you are in their office. Ask them how long you should sit there before they realize the conditions unhealthy.
My mom's next roommate was not only rude, she was combative & disturbing. She became angry & my mom felt threatened. She was afraid to go to sleep that night. We called the director & she was moved that day.
Your mother has a right to dignity and respect. This includes a safe health care setting, free from mental, verbal, physical or sexual abuse; neglect; exploitation; and harassment. Inform them that you will contact an attorney if the problem is not addressed.
with one roommate like this ??
why allow that to continue ??
i’d move mother asap !!! Find a decent place for your mother.
If they aren't willing to group the quiet folks together and the noisy folks separately, then your only option is to move her. You might be able to find a place that has 2 people per room and cares enough to group folks that aren't going to drive each other crazy.
Good God there is nothing easy about this stage of life!
Insist that her PCP intervene on behalf of your mother's health and, that a solution be found; either move the new offending pt or offer a new room for your mother. No one should constantly have their peace disturbed whether it's neighbors in the neighborhood or roommate in facility. Every facility should also have a
" complaint" line to whoever
" owns and operates" the facility; find out who and number and call immediately.
Nursing homes routinely accept Medicaid payments for those who qualify and Medicaid will only pay for "shared" accommodation unless there is a documented and ongoing medical need .
Ahh..... I just found the NJ regulation re: space for ALs: (Section 8:36-16.8)
"(a) Residential units occupied by one person shall have a minimum of 150 square feet of clear and usable floor area. Any calculation of clear and usable floor area shall exclude closets, bathroom, kitchenette, hallways, corridors, vestibules, alcoves and foyers unless the applicant submits a written request to the Department to consider an alcove, foyer or vestibule as clear and usable floor area within the context and purpose of these rules and the Department grants such a request. Such request shall be made in writing during the certificate of need process or, if exempt, as part of the licensing application review process.
(b) In units occupied by more than one resident, there shall be a minimum of 80 additional square feet for an additional occupant. No residential unit in an assisted living residence shall be occupied by more than two individuals"
I will post when I find the square footage for nursing homes which is probably a standard measure since nursing homes accept Medicare.
That being said, I would continue to beat on the Ombudsman office door (some states give them more "clout" than others) as well as the Administrator of the building. With all the "private entities" now owning nursing homes, it is difficult to find out who really owns a facility but you can advise the Administrator you will take legal action should your Mother and the other roomie continue to suffer abuse at their hands. You can check with your local Office on Aging to see if they have a roster of Attorney's who will give you a free 15 min consultation to see how you can best follow up on this.
Realistically, you ultimate course of action may be to find another facility for your Mom. Be aware that if your Mom is in a nursing home with Medicaid as the payer, it is more than likely that she will have shared accommodations (look for facilities with 2 people to a room max) and there is always the potential for the "nice" roomie to be replaced by a nut job.
Wishing you good luck and please update us.
FYI
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/any-creative-ideas-on-how-to-handle-assisted-living-roommate-television-issue-448299.htm
Also:
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=headphones+that+connect+to+tv&hvadid=410005423133&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=9033425&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=b&hvrand=10417603401176207074&hvtargid=kwd-58950368357&hydadcr=19140_11277047&tag=googhydr-20&ref=pd_sl_16q6y5es5l_b