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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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He doesn't understand why some of the things he thinks happened didn't happen, or why he forgets or gets confused. He's 94 and lives in a nursing home. He asks questions about his health.
i think its all in the timing. when the elder has a moment where they are lamenting their loss of control and confusion they are at this point rather receptive to ( and deserving of ) a genuine answer. one of my nieces told mom as soon as she was home from the hospital that she was " crazy " . didnt go over well. mom told the remainder of the people in the room to drag this tugboat out into the front yard. lol . tina IS kinda lumpy
I don't think it is important to use the D word. It can be upsetting to have a label on something. The same idea can be gotten across by using words that can be less upsetting. My mother won't tolerate the D word, but she is okay if I mention that sometimes she forgets things. I have a more difficult time dealing with the confusion. Usually I don't try to deal with it. She may make up things that never happened, but I let it go because it doesn't really matter anyway. No harm done.
It seems that many or most older people start showing some signs of dementia when they get to a certain age. What we can hope is that their minds will hold out as long as their bodies do. If forgetfulness and confusion are problems that your father has, pointing them out to him will probably only make him anxious. It may be better to use kinder but truthful explanations that have to do with forgetfulness. No one wants to feel like they are going crazy.
I agree with the above he is in a safe place and does not need the added burden of such a diagnosis. What good is it going to do if you tell him. If he asks a direct question just give him the memory loss explanation and re assure him he is not going crazy.
As the brain succumbs to dementia, the ability to understand its own functioning goes away. Don't bother to tell him that something he "remembers" never really happened. He doesn't need to understand, and furthermore, he can't understand. Tell him "white lies" that agree with his memory. "Yes, that happened, but then this other thing happened...."
As much as possible, go along with what he says. I call my husband's ALZ "memory problems." I never discuss his thinking problems because that would make him very unhappy. I'm afraid I still correct him when he says "You never told me that!" I feel attacked and blamed, so I get defensive. He is in a much earlier stage of dementia than your father, though. I'm practicing biting my tongue for the future.
For 94 he's doing great just being alive. Hell, at 62 I can't remember stuff. I'll go out to the kitchen and forget why I went. Telling a dementia patient he has dementia is like telling a drunk they are drunk. The information is neither processed nor retained. The only thing I still retain is water.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
It seems that many or most older people start showing some signs of dementia when they get to a certain age. What we can hope is that their minds will hold out as long as their bodies do. If forgetfulness and confusion are problems that your father has, pointing them out to him will probably only make him anxious. It may be better to use kinder but truthful explanations that have to do with forgetfulness. No one wants to feel like they are going crazy.
As much as possible, go along with what he says. I call my husband's ALZ "memory problems." I never discuss his thinking problems because that would make him very unhappy. I'm afraid I still correct him when he says "You never told me that!" I feel attacked and blamed, so I get defensive. He is in a much earlier stage of dementia than your father, though. I'm practicing biting my tongue for the future.