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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
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The drug addict paid room and board for 5 months then decided in March, since he is home with her during the day he will no longer pay anything. He used her credit card for recurring charges to pay his cell phone bill, this has been going on for years. I have asked him on several occasions to have his bill put on his own card and my requests fall on deaf ears. She owns the home, pays all bills, including groceries and for food delivery. He gets paid twice a month and goes on binges for days then sleeps for days and becomes dope sick until he gets paid again. I have another sibling that lives with her who distributes her medication and has to lock it in a safe so the drug addict doesn’t steal it, he works days so we have a plan to have other family members go over to be with my mother during the day. We’ve asked the drug addict to leave and he yells, screams and swears, (which is upsetting to my mother) and says we have to evict him if we want him to leave. If I don’t live there, can I legally have him removed?
Does anyone have your mother's POA? If so that person can do the eviction and also remove the phone charge from the bill. I'm sorry you're in this situation.
It would help if you cou would indicate the legal situation of the home occupancy. Is it your mother the home owen, the lessee, or is she the tenant if it is rented? Will your mother agree to sighn the papers to evict him, if they are required? Can you provide your mother with information about where he can go if he leaves? - as mother is probably concerned about him?
Eviction probably takes a month. Get it started while you work this all out!
If you are your Mom's active PoA or legal guardian, yes.
Does she tell you she wants him out? Is she willing to say it in front of him? Then yes.
If your Mom doesn't have a PoA or legal guardian, doesn't have a diagnosis of impairment and isn't behaving like she's impaired, and doesn't express a desire for him to get out, then no.
Even if you reported the situation to APS, if they show up and your Mom says nothing is wrong and she's ok, then things will stay as is.
If your Mom doesn't have a PoA then I would discretely take her to see a certified elder law attorney to encourage her to get this in place. She should make it durable so that it is active right away. Ask the attorney how to start setting up a case of financial abuse against the brother.
You can discretely take your Mom to a different bank and open up a new checking and savings account and have yourself on as joint. Make sure the bank knows there is a relative who is attempting financial abuse and they will keep an eye out for suspicious activity. Set up online access. Close the other bank accounts (and any credit cards) that pays your brother's phone bill and any other of his bills. Make sure your Mom doesn't have any debit cards or new cc's lying around for him to use. Or cash. Freeze her credit so he can't take out a loan in her name. Make sure all of her sensitive financial and ID paperwork are in a locked fireproof safe or of the property (passports, deeds, titles, birth certificates, SS card, investment statements w/account numbers on them, etc).
Since your brother is using her house as his home address on bills, you won't be able to lock him out since it is his legal residence. He will have to be evicted. If you think he has drugs in his room, then you can report it to the cops and see what happens (not weed -- it has to be something more than that).
If your Mom is on any opioids those need to be kept off the property so he can't access them.
If your mother wants to enable her drug-addict adult child by having him live in the home, that is her choice. Like all drug addicts he is going to lie, cheat, and steal to maintain the status quo. His mother keeps a roof over his head, food in his belly, and access to paid for utilities like heat, hot water, electricity, and wi-fi. She enables him to spend his pay to feed a drug addiction. He isn't going to give that up unless he truly wants to go into recovery to get clean and sober.
The sibling who also lives in the house, needs to go. That sibling and the rest of the family who helps out during the day have to stop enabling not only the drug addict's behavior, but your mother's as well. As hard as this is to hear, the family is enabling your mother by propping her up and doing for her so she can continue to enable and indulge your brother to be active in his addiction.
It's time for the family to have an intervention to happen for both of them. The terms must be he goes into recovery at a residential addiction treatment program then to a sober living house for one year afterwards if he wants his permanent home to be with your mother. Your mother needs to be made to understand that unless he leaves or agrees to addiction treatment, all the family members including yourself who help her will stop helping her. They both need some tough love from the family and I hope they get it.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Eviction probably takes a month. Get it started while you work this all out!
Does she tell you she wants him out? Is she willing to say it in front of him? Then yes.
If your Mom doesn't have a PoA or legal guardian, doesn't have a diagnosis of impairment and isn't behaving like she's impaired, and doesn't express a desire for him to get out, then no.
Even if you reported the situation to APS, if they show up and your Mom says nothing is wrong and she's ok, then things will stay as is.
If your Mom doesn't have a PoA then I would discretely take her to see a certified elder law attorney to encourage her to get this in place. She should make it durable so that it is active right away. Ask the attorney how to start setting up a case of financial abuse against the brother.
You can discretely take your Mom to a different bank and open up a new checking and savings account and have yourself on as joint. Make sure the bank knows there is a relative who is attempting financial abuse and they will keep an eye out for suspicious activity. Set up online access. Close the other bank accounts (and any credit cards) that pays your brother's phone bill and any other of his bills. Make sure your Mom doesn't have any debit cards or new cc's lying around for him to use. Or cash. Freeze her credit so he can't take out a loan in her name. Make sure all of her sensitive financial and ID paperwork are in a locked fireproof safe or of the property (passports, deeds, titles, birth certificates, SS card, investment statements w/account numbers on them, etc).
Since your brother is using her house as his home address on bills, you won't be able to lock him out since it is his legal residence. He will have to be evicted. If you think he has drugs in his room, then you can report it to the cops and see what happens (not weed -- it has to be something more than that).
If your Mom is on any opioids those need to be kept off the property so he can't access them.
Time to squeeze him out.
The sibling who also lives in the house, needs to go. That sibling and the rest of the family who helps out during the day have to stop enabling not only the drug addict's behavior, but your mother's as well. As hard as this is to hear, the family is enabling your mother by propping her up and doing for her so she can continue to enable and indulge your brother to be active in his addiction.
It's time for the family to have an intervention to happen for both of them. The terms must be he goes into recovery at a residential addiction treatment program then to a sober living house for one year afterwards if he wants his permanent home to be with your mother. Your mother needs to be made to understand that unless he leaves or agrees to addiction treatment, all the family members including yourself who help her will stop helping her. They both need some tough love from the family and I hope they get it.