She resides in an assisted living facility on the memory care unit. Mom is age 90, has heart problems, dementia, and has small fractures in her back. She cannot undergo surgery due to these health issues per her doctor. She is a risk person to fall as she uses a walker and her gait is unsteady. If she were to fall and break a hip, she would have to lay in her bed and eventually die as she cannot have surgery. I have two sisters who insist on taking her outside to go eat at a restaurant every week. I have kindly told them not to take her out as her chances of falling are great due to holes in cement, sidewalks, stones, etc. where she could easily fall. They refuse to listen to me. The assisted living facility say they cannot refuse family members from taking her out, even though I have POA. I am trying to keep my mom as healthy as possible and safe. Is there anything I can do to protect her?
She probably complains until she is out and then enjoys it.
Try to work with your sisters. Tell them your fears. Why not ask if you can also go on the next outing to see what they see. It might change your mind. Don’t put your mom in the middle of the problem. Think what a gift to her to have her daughters all with her for lunch. But go with an open mind. She probably truly won’t be able to go in the future. Life is short. Hugs.
Id go the wheelchair route. I already know I am taking mother to a wedding on the 20th. I already have a wheelchair "reserved" at the place of the wedding. There's just no way she can use her walker to go the 500 feet she'd need to navigate. I'll park in Handicap parking, run in the building and get the wheelchair and pop back and get her. I cannot lift her regular wheelchair. At least the wedding dinner is back at the house she lives in--getting her up 18 stairs is going to be daunting.
I'd be happy the sisters are showing up and doing. If you can let go, you'll enjoy the respite time. Mom deserves to see all her kids....and on terms they are all comfortable with.
To get in, she would tip enough to the right side of the wheelchair to allow the board to be placed under her left buttock. Then she sits on the board, scoots over into car seat.
It's a lot safer than trying to stand up, especially from a sitting position in the wheelchair with only the arm rests to use as leverage for pushing up.
I, too, would use a wheelchair. It's not fool proof but it's a lot safer than having her walk with a cane or walker.
Have you heard that an elderly person "has fallen and broken a bone?"
Well, most times it's the opposite. A bone has broken (like the hip or leg) and then they fall.
Osteoporosis is a condition of the elderly and many times the bone is so weak (porous) that it can no longer support the weight of the person. Then you have a fracture CAUSING a fall. This can happen anytime. The less weight she has to have on her support bones, the less likely she'll have a break. Tell your sisters that. Maybe they'll always use the wheelchair because the'd be scared to have her break a bone.
But however much you would like to bubble-wrap your mother and forbid her to stand unaided, you have to strike the right balance between protection of her physical safety and promotion of her quality of life. As Barb says, stopping her going out while she can still enjoy the change and the attention from your sisters is going too far.
Try a different tack - see if the facility can arrange for a friendly physical therapist or occupational therapist to give your sisters a crash course in safe handling and falls prevention, or at least suggest recommended reading for them. It will not only make them better escorts for your mother, it will also impress on them just what the risks are.
It seems like overkill to keep mom facility bound if she enjoys going out.
Might a compromise be possible? Could they use a wheelchair?
Has her physical therapist or doctor ordered her not to go out?