I have power of attorney for my mother, she is 90. My sister says I should be providing a ledger of how my mothers social security money is spent to her(my sister). My mother lives with me. I take full care of her.
Meals, showers, trips to doctors, medicine provided, vacation trips. I have been doing this for 4 years now. My sister moved to another state and has never participated in care of my mother. Does she have any say in how my mothers money is spent? All of it is spent on my mothers needs and the preservation of the household. Am I doing anything wrong?
Also, regarding your sister - you have no obligation but in the interest of family harmony - what would it hurt?
I have 6 siblings and was left to care for Mom on my own, and do all the bill paying etc. I'm hoping no one comes after me when all is said and done! Good luck.
lovbob
I think that it would be a burden for you to sit down and write out every cent you spend on your mother and have to account to the missing sister. Not to mention that you are not being compensated for all those little "misc." errands, doc visits, etc. Those things add up, and if you had to hire a caregiver to do it, your mom could not afford it.
However, there is nothing to be gained by being "snarky" to the sis. But, tell her you will make a trade: You will give her a quarterly accounting, if she comes to take over for you one week, three times a year. Then she can see up close and personal how much fun it is and how she is adding to your stress.
Geeeez....isn't this just adding insult to injury????
Now, about your finances. It's generally a good idea to keep track of things. I don't know if you have a husband, accountant or friend to help keep track. It's not required by anyone to keep track, but of course for whatever financial situations that may occur -- it would be good to have all the paperwork sorted. For example, claiming her as a dependent, filing taxes on other IRA income she may have, consideration for Medicaid, etc. So why not take some steps to set things up. A simple first step is to ask for and keep all receipts and toss them in a box. Put all her charges on a credit card that nothing else is charged to.
About your sis, and I have a brother (who's kinda similar), nah YOU don't need to show her anything. Tell her you put everything in a shoebox and she's welcome to visit for a week every couple months and when visiting she can help you sort it out! Or does she have an accountant that she will pay for who you can send all the paperwork to? This should get the point across to her. I'll bet that she's the older sister and you're younger (it's like that with my brother), they just can't help trying to be "boss."
Ninety, huh. Yah -- you've doing it all right.
One never really knows what people will do behind money, it causes all kinds of problems after the loved one is gone.
Just keep a ledger for yourself so that after all is said and done, you can show proof of what was done with your moms money.
You're special to take care of your mom. That deadbeat sister of yours is just trying to throw you for a loop. Ignore her and heek taking good care of mom.
The county has to account for the money every year, then every two years. The first year, I kept all receipts and spent a few thousand hiring bookkeeping help to enter everything into Excel. I handed over the files and the Excel document, and they didn't even use it to generate the report. They went with the % spending estimates we initially came up with years ago.
So now I just stuff all receipts into monthly folders. They can hire their own bookkeeping staff to do it. In a way, the public guardian's managing of the funds is the OFFICIAL account of how mom's money is spent, even if it is a fairy tale.